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Stop Hiding These 9 Things if You Want a Serious Relationship

Stop Hiding These 9 Things if You Want a Serious Relationship

You might think that hiding big, bad things from your partner will make your relationship better, but it will actually tear down the trust your partner has given you. The relationship might seem better at the time, but everything eventually comes to light, and when your partner finds out you’ve hidden things from them, they will wonder if you’re telling them the truth about anything. If you want a serious relationship, you shouldn’t hide these nine things from your partner.

1. Your dreams.

Your partner needs to know what you want to accomplish in your life. Openly share your dreams for the future. Let them know what goals you want to reach in your education, career, or family life, and what steps you’re going to take to reach these goals. Your partner will know what you want to accomplish and will not stand in your way, and will even know how they can help you reach these goals a little easier.

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    2. Your natural beauty.

    Don’t be afraid to show your partner who you really are. This means they don’t always get to see you dressed up for a night on the town. Sometimes they’ll see you when you wake up – without makeup, with messy hair, puffy eyes and all! They’ll see you with flat, wet hair when you get out of the shower. They’ll see you sweating and throwing up when you’re sick. You shouldn’t feel like you need to always be made up, combed, and have freshly brushed teeth just to be with your partner.

    3. Your food intake.

    Do you really want to live your life always ordering the small, healthy meal on dates, when you could be ordering the food you really crave? Your partner isn’t going to judge you for wanting a burger over a salad! Don’t be afraid to eat what you want when you’re with your partner, and don’t indulge yourself in private and then keep it from them later.

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    4. Your past.

    You don’t have to spell out every dirty little detail or even throw out your numbers, but make sure your partner knows what your past was like. This can mean everything from your childhood, to high school troubles, to past relationships. If there was an issue in your past, it could crop up in your current relationship, but if you partner knows about it, you won’t have to worry. Being upfront about your past also means there will be no surprises if anything comes out of the woodwork later.

    5. Your expectations.

    Make clear from the beginning what you expect from your partner and the relationship. If you’re serious, then you should feel comfortable telling them you want to get married at some point and whether you would like to have kids, for example. Just make sure you present this in a positive way, so your significant other doesn’t feel like you’re issuing an ultimatum.

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    6. Your boundaries.

    You might be happily in love, but you don’t want to become one person. No matter how much you have in common and how much you love spending time together, you need to keep a part of your identity separate from them. Make your boundaries clear about how much time you need alone, how much physical space you need when you’re together, and what you’d like to do with your free time.

    7. Your beliefs.

    It doesn’t matter whether you and your partner share the same beliefs, as long as you’re upfront about them. Don’t hide your religion or political affiliation just because your partner thinks differently. This could cause major problems later. Be truthful about your beliefs from the start so your partner will know where you stand.

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    8. Your personal problems.

    This goes for problems happening now, or things that have gone on in the past. Tell your partner! Being in a relationship means you’re in a partnership. You have someone to share the burden with, so take advantage of that! Don’t worry if they’ll yell at you or judge you – if you’re truly in love, you can get past anything.

    9. Your financial status.

    You don’t have to pull out bank statements, but if you have a lot of debt or college loans, make sure your partner knows. Some people work really hard to keep good credit scores, and they need to know if your money issues will affect them once you’re married. It doesn’t mean that money is a deal breaker, just that you may have some things to work through before you join finances with your sweetie.

    Featured photo credit: QuinnDombrowski via flickr.com

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    Last Updated on July 10, 2020

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

    “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

    Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

    To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

    The Reinvention Checklist

    Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

    Resilience

    Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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    Support

    Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

    The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

    Self-Care

    During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

    • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
    • Spending time with your support system
    • Taking some time to walk in nature
    • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

    Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

    How to Reinvent Yourself

    Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

    1. Discover Your Strengths

    This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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    To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

    2. Plan

    This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

    It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

    You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

    Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

    3. Try Things Out

    Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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    By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

    4. Manage Your Finances Well

    Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

    All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

    5. Muster Your Courage

    Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

    Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

    6. Use Your Support Group

    As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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    7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

    Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

    8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

    Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

    Final Thoughts

    If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

    More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

    Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

    Reference

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