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Stop Hiding These 9 Things if You Want a Serious Relationship

Stop Hiding These 9 Things if You Want a Serious Relationship

You might think that hiding big, bad things from your partner will make your relationship better, but it will actually tear down the trust your partner has given you. The relationship might seem better at the time, but everything eventually comes to light, and when your partner finds out you’ve hidden things from them, they will wonder if you’re telling them the truth about anything. If you want a serious relationship, you shouldn’t hide these nine things from your partner.

1. Your dreams.

Your partner needs to know what you want to accomplish in your life. Openly share your dreams for the future. Let them know what goals you want to reach in your education, career, or family life, and what steps you’re going to take to reach these goals. Your partner will know what you want to accomplish and will not stand in your way, and will even know how they can help you reach these goals a little easier.

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    2. Your natural beauty.

    Don’t be afraid to show your partner who you really are. This means they don’t always get to see you dressed up for a night on the town. Sometimes they’ll see you when you wake up – without makeup, with messy hair, puffy eyes and all! They’ll see you with flat, wet hair when you get out of the shower. They’ll see you sweating and throwing up when you’re sick. You shouldn’t feel like you need to always be made up, combed, and have freshly brushed teeth just to be with your partner.

    3. Your food intake.

    Do you really want to live your life always ordering the small, healthy meal on dates, when you could be ordering the food you really crave? Your partner isn’t going to judge you for wanting a burger over a salad! Don’t be afraid to eat what you want when you’re with your partner, and don’t indulge yourself in private and then keep it from them later.

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    4. Your past.

    You don’t have to spell out every dirty little detail or even throw out your numbers, but make sure your partner knows what your past was like. This can mean everything from your childhood, to high school troubles, to past relationships. If there was an issue in your past, it could crop up in your current relationship, but if you partner knows about it, you won’t have to worry. Being upfront about your past also means there will be no surprises if anything comes out of the woodwork later.

    5. Your expectations.

    Make clear from the beginning what you expect from your partner and the relationship. If you’re serious, then you should feel comfortable telling them you want to get married at some point and whether you would like to have kids, for example. Just make sure you present this in a positive way, so your significant other doesn’t feel like you’re issuing an ultimatum.

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    6. Your boundaries.

    You might be happily in love, but you don’t want to become one person. No matter how much you have in common and how much you love spending time together, you need to keep a part of your identity separate from them. Make your boundaries clear about how much time you need alone, how much physical space you need when you’re together, and what you’d like to do with your free time.

    7. Your beliefs.

    It doesn’t matter whether you and your partner share the same beliefs, as long as you’re upfront about them. Don’t hide your religion or political affiliation just because your partner thinks differently. This could cause major problems later. Be truthful about your beliefs from the start so your partner will know where you stand.

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    8. Your personal problems.

    This goes for problems happening now, or things that have gone on in the past. Tell your partner! Being in a relationship means you’re in a partnership. You have someone to share the burden with, so take advantage of that! Don’t worry if they’ll yell at you or judge you – if you’re truly in love, you can get past anything.

    9. Your financial status.

    You don’t have to pull out bank statements, but if you have a lot of debt or college loans, make sure your partner knows. Some people work really hard to keep good credit scores, and they need to know if your money issues will affect them once you’re married. It doesn’t mean that money is a deal breaker, just that you may have some things to work through before you join finances with your sweetie.

    Featured photo credit: QuinnDombrowski via flickr.com

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    Last Updated on February 18, 2019

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

    The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

    If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

    The Need for Change

    Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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    We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

    Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

    This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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      Signs It’s Time to Redefine

      “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

      So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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      In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

      “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

      The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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      When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

      Aronld in Predator

        Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

        And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

        Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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