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Remember These 9 Things When Life Gets Rough

Remember These 9 Things When Life Gets Rough

John Lennon once famously said “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans” in his song “Beautiful Boy” And indeed, a lot of times, life doesn’t exactly turn the way we foresee it to. It seems like everything is going fine, and all of a sudden the panic button strikes. You find everything tumbling around you. Life and the idea of it being a beautiful journey, don’t click together. For many of us, life becomes a daunting task and with every breath, it appears we’re trying to evade the never-ending sequence of melancholies.

But is life really all about dealing with every new problem flung upon us? Can’t we escape the pain and suffering, popping in front of us, in different forms? The answer is no. You may have to face hurdles frequently in life. But it’s totally upon you to let those hurdles make your life rough or go on living life as a beautiful journey. How? Well, you have to remember the following nine things when life gets rough.

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1. If you believe and work for it, everything is possible.

You may think of it as a cliché, but if you keep the faith and work hard for your cause, you are destined to achieve. Your dreams may be pretty big and you may feel you’ll never make it. But what’s the point in always whining and fearing things won’t go well, before you’ve even started? If you work hard, you’ll surely move ahead. If things don’t seem to go well, remember what Christopher Reeve told us: “Once you choose hope, anything is possible”.

2. Life is very short.

Stevie Wonder said “Time is long and life is short”. This is exactly how life is. It is very short for us to achieve all the things we’d ever wanted to. Remembering this thing will help us in many ways in our life. Since life is short, you don’t have to achieve each and everything you look around. You may not be able to achieve a certain few things and that’s fine, you were not supposed to do everything. And, there’s no point in worrying too much about this short life, feeling miserable even when the slightest of problems appear. Constantly worrying about and over-analyzing things in this short life won’t help you much.

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3. Failures are the pillar of success.

Keep this thing in mind that Michael Jordan said: “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” You don’t have to succeed in whatever you pursue all at once. More often than not, you’re bound to fail in your first attempt. Don’t be heartbroken and quit. Although you didn’t succeed, you certainly learned a thing or few in the attempts you made towards getting the job done. So work hard and with more determination next time. You’ll surely get to the finish line.

4. When one door closes, another opens.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” This is what Alexander Graham Bell said, and it portrays how most of us think when something has gone wrong. Remembering this thing will certainly help most of us if things aren’t working well. We’ll never achieve all the things we wanted in life and sometimes, something that has gone, is gone for once and forever. There’s no point in making own life miserable, remembering the same thing over and over. It’s better to have a keen look over what positives we can find in life and embrace the beauty of life with the newly opened door.

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5. There’s no short-cut to success.

One of the common things that makes our life rough is that we want to achieve so many things in a very limited time. But believe me, it won’t work out that way. You may have learned about or even read the books like “Learn to play guitar in a week” or “master Spanish in three days”. But, you may have already experienced it, such things will never work out. The fact that help us to attain some skills or provide some knowledge can’t be denied but what they sell you, claiming to make you an expert in such a limited time, just will not work out. Same is the thing with life. Your biggest dreams will take a long time to be fulfilled, sometimes even all your life. So forget about building Rome in a day.

6. Avoid constant comparison with others.

You may find your salary far less than others. Your friend always scores better grades than you. Your sister is more beautiful than you. We are always making such comparisons. Sometimes, we make the comparison with people at the top of the trade, like comparing our guitar skills with Eric Clapton. It’s one thing to be motivated by the success of others and set a mark for ourselves to reach. But always comparing with others and feeling worthless is not just good at all. What you need to remember is that everyone has got strengths and weaknesses, and you may not make it to the top or you’ll take a little more time. There’s lot of competition out there, so it’s better to take a realistic approach to life, improving gradually with every stride.

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7. Life is a journey, not a destination.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Life is a journey, not a destination.” And, it is a very important quote to remember if we want a happy and prosperous life for ourselves. A lot of times, we imagine ourselves at the end of the road, when we have achieved everything. But when we are trying to walk along the path, we don’t have much motivation for it. We are constantly thinking about the glory and the prize. But what you should remember is that honors are just what others offered to you, experience is what you really garnered for yourself. This way, we’ll enjoy life at every step and even the most arduous tasks seem easier to complete.

8. Don’t worry about what others think.

It’s a common problem for most of us that we are always conscious of what others think of us. This is a big hurdle for us, preventing us from fulfilling our dreams and enjoying the life. We want to do a new thing, but the thoughts occurs to us “What if I am not successful?”, “How shall others react when they know about it?” and “Will it really make them happy?” You don’t have to live your life pleasing others all the while. What others think about you just doesn’t matter. If you’re always held back by such things, you’ll never be able to get through a task and fulfill your dreams.

9. Nothing lasts forever.

Life is full of ups and downs. It doesn’t always work out how you had planned. What to do when such cases arise? Remember “Nothing lasts forever.” Not even your worries and troubles. This may not exactly help you solve the problem, but it will most certainly help you move along in the darkest of times. If you just can’t get things happen how hard you try, what’s the point worrying? And if, you can do something about it, why to worry after all?

Featured photo credit: Thumbs up for 4 day weekends via flickr via flickr.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

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Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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