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Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

So you’ve been hurt in a relationship? It’s never fun. It can be hard. It can seem as if the world is falling on top of you. But for many, heartbreak is the first step in a better, more meaningful life. It’s the perfect time to reflect on what you really want in life, in love, and for your future. Those who embrace the change are the ones who come out better on the other side.

Remember these 24 things even though you’ve been hurt in a relationship.

1. Everyone is different. Don’t let one bad experience ruin your next experience.

2. Time heals all wounds. You have the ability to move on and love it. It’s totally within your control.

3. Only you control your heart. Never forget that only you let yourself fall in love.

4. Loving yourself is the first step to loving someone else. Make sure you take time to focus on yourself and finding what you love.

5. Finding love is easy. If you’re patient.

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6. They say love can’t be rushed. And they are correct.

7. Remember, love blossoms. Just like a flower, you must plant love, water love, and let love bloom.

8. It’s hard to be sad while riding a jet ski. When things seem the worst, take a vacation or do things you love.

9. There is no good without the bad. Seeing how a bad relationship works will make a great one even more fulfilling.

10. You are special. Never forget. You have the ability to move on and love again.

11. Being single is acceptable. And even fun!

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12. Don’t let a relationships define you. Never lose that thing that makes you special.

13. The rest of your life is a long time. There’s always time to heal and move on.

14. Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. But also to those who act when the opportunity arises.

15. You can only love others as much as you love yourself. Learn to love yourself.

16. Feel better about yourself and you’ll move on faster. Spend time working out and improving yourself.

17. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, not behind you. Don’t spend time looking back. Keep moving ahead.

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18. Stay open to love. It’s hard opening up after love has gone bad. But always keep an open mind.

19. Practice makes perfect. Go on dates. Meet new people. You can have fun without any commitment.

20. Lower your expectations. But not your standards. When meeting new people, just hope for a nice time. Don’t expect fireworks. But don’t settle either.

21. Move slow. Don’t fall in love fast. Let it build.

22. Know the person before loving the person. Make sure there’s more to love than a pretty face or a funny personality.

23. Don’t fall in love with the idea of falling in love. This isn’t the movies. Have fun. Find someone you like. Then decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

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24. Remember, you’re only focusing on the good times. Never forget the reasons you were hurt. Most breakups are for good reason.

Whether you’re just out of a relationship in which you were hurt or it’s been many years and the pain still hasn’t worn off, remember that pain always fades. But also remember that it’s a vehicle to become better, to learn from your mistakes, and to figure out exactly what you want.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

— From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850

That poem, written 164 years ago, still rings true today. Everyone has loved. Most have lost. Nearly everyone has been hurt. Life moves on. Will it be better? It’s up to you. Take the time to remember these things and to remember Tennyson’s words.

Featured photo credit: Irene Chaparro via Photopin.com

More by this author

Kyle Robbins

Kyle is the founder of Branding Beard. He writes about communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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