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Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

So you’ve been hurt in a relationship? It’s never fun. It can be hard. It can seem as if the world is falling on top of you. But for many, heartbreak is the first step in a better, more meaningful life. It’s the perfect time to reflect on what you really want in life, in love, and for your future. Those who embrace the change are the ones who come out better on the other side.

Remember these 24 things even though you’ve been hurt in a relationship.

1. Everyone is different. Don’t let one bad experience ruin your next experience.

2. Time heals all wounds. You have the ability to move on and love it. It’s totally within your control.

3. Only you control your heart. Never forget that only you let yourself fall in love.

4. Loving yourself is the first step to loving someone else. Make sure you take time to focus on yourself and finding what you love.

5. Finding love is easy. If you’re patient.

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6. They say love can’t be rushed. And they are correct.

7. Remember, love blossoms. Just like a flower, you must plant love, water love, and let love bloom.

8. It’s hard to be sad while riding a jet ski. When things seem the worst, take a vacation or do things you love.

9. There is no good without the bad. Seeing how a bad relationship works will make a great one even more fulfilling.

10. You are special. Never forget. You have the ability to move on and love again.

11. Being single is acceptable. And even fun!

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12. Don’t let a relationships define you. Never lose that thing that makes you special.

13. The rest of your life is a long time. There’s always time to heal and move on.

14. Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. But also to those who act when the opportunity arises.

15. You can only love others as much as you love yourself. Learn to love yourself.

16. Feel better about yourself and you’ll move on faster. Spend time working out and improving yourself.

17. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, not behind you. Don’t spend time looking back. Keep moving ahead.

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18. Stay open to love. It’s hard opening up after love has gone bad. But always keep an open mind.

19. Practice makes perfect. Go on dates. Meet new people. You can have fun without any commitment.

20. Lower your expectations. But not your standards. When meeting new people, just hope for a nice time. Don’t expect fireworks. But don’t settle either.

21. Move slow. Don’t fall in love fast. Let it build.

22. Know the person before loving the person. Make sure there’s more to love than a pretty face or a funny personality.

23. Don’t fall in love with the idea of falling in love. This isn’t the movies. Have fun. Find someone you like. Then decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

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24. Remember, you’re only focusing on the good times. Never forget the reasons you were hurt. Most breakups are for good reason.

Whether you’re just out of a relationship in which you were hurt or it’s been many years and the pain still hasn’t worn off, remember that pain always fades. But also remember that it’s a vehicle to become better, to learn from your mistakes, and to figure out exactly what you want.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

— From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850

That poem, written 164 years ago, still rings true today. Everyone has loved. Most have lost. Nearly everyone has been hurt. Life moves on. Will it be better? It’s up to you. Take the time to remember these things and to remember Tennyson’s words.

Featured photo credit: Irene Chaparro via Photopin.com

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Kyle Robbins

Founder, BrandingBeard.com

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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