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Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

Remember These 24 Things When You’ve Been Hurt In A Relationship

So you’ve been hurt in a relationship? It’s never fun. It can be hard. It can seem as if the world is falling on top of you. But for many, heartbreak is the first step in a better, more meaningful life. It’s the perfect time to reflect on what you really want in life, in love, and for your future. Those who embrace the change are the ones who come out better on the other side.

Remember these 24 things even though you’ve been hurt in a relationship.

1. Everyone is different. Don’t let one bad experience ruin your next experience.

2. Time heals all wounds. You have the ability to move on and love it. It’s totally within your control.

3. Only you control your heart. Never forget that only you let yourself fall in love.

4. Loving yourself is the first step to loving someone else. Make sure you take time to focus on yourself and finding what you love.

5. Finding love is easy. If you’re patient.

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6. They say love can’t be rushed. And they are correct.

7. Remember, love blossoms. Just like a flower, you must plant love, water love, and let love bloom.

8. It’s hard to be sad while riding a jet ski. When things seem the worst, take a vacation or do things you love.

9. There is no good without the bad. Seeing how a bad relationship works will make a great one even more fulfilling.

10. You are special. Never forget. You have the ability to move on and love again.

11. Being single is acceptable. And even fun!

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12. Don’t let a relationships define you. Never lose that thing that makes you special.

13. The rest of your life is a long time. There’s always time to heal and move on.

14. Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. But also to those who act when the opportunity arises.

15. You can only love others as much as you love yourself. Learn to love yourself.

16. Feel better about yourself and you’ll move on faster. Spend time working out and improving yourself.

17. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, not behind you. Don’t spend time looking back. Keep moving ahead.

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18. Stay open to love. It’s hard opening up after love has gone bad. But always keep an open mind.

19. Practice makes perfect. Go on dates. Meet new people. You can have fun without any commitment.

20. Lower your expectations. But not your standards. When meeting new people, just hope for a nice time. Don’t expect fireworks. But don’t settle either.

21. Move slow. Don’t fall in love fast. Let it build.

22. Know the person before loving the person. Make sure there’s more to love than a pretty face or a funny personality.

23. Don’t fall in love with the idea of falling in love. This isn’t the movies. Have fun. Find someone you like. Then decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

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24. Remember, you’re only focusing on the good times. Never forget the reasons you were hurt. Most breakups are for good reason.

Whether you’re just out of a relationship in which you were hurt or it’s been many years and the pain still hasn’t worn off, remember that pain always fades. But also remember that it’s a vehicle to become better, to learn from your mistakes, and to figure out exactly what you want.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

— From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850

That poem, written 164 years ago, still rings true today. Everyone has loved. Most have lost. Nearly everyone has been hurt. Life moves on. Will it be better? It’s up to you. Take the time to remember these things and to remember Tennyson’s words.

Featured photo credit: Irene Chaparro via Photopin.com

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Kyle Robbins

Kyle is the founder of Branding Beard. He writes about communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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