Advertising
Advertising

Hunting for Happiness? Five Ways to Change Your Mind and Be Happier.

Hunting for Happiness? Five Ways to Change Your Mind and Be Happier.

Life can beat us up and suck the happiness out of our days.

scarlett 2

    Relationships, work, loss and physical illness can pile on and make our hearts hurt. But all of us know someone who seems happy even when they’re experiencing difficulty in some part of their life.

    Their secret?

    They’ve learned to control their thought lives.

    If you’re wondering how to find happiness even when life is hard, you might need brain surgery. Not One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest brain surgery, but sometimes a few tweaks in how you you think can make a huge difference in your happiness.

    Advertising

    If you’re stuck in the doldrums and want to feel better, give yourself a brain transplant.

    Here are five ways to change your mind.

    1. Diagnose your thought patterns.

    Take a quick biopsy of your reactions to situations and people that make you angry or unhappy, and diagnose the thought patterns you’ve formed around them. If your head is full of negative stuff- “Nobody likes me,” or “I’ll never succeed in this job,” etc., then there’s no room for anything good.

    Understanding that your thoughts are negative before you allow yourself to react to them emotionally gives you a chance to decide to replace it with a happier one.

    The result: More happiness.

    2. Identify attitude problems and get rid of them.

    Truth is, a lot of how other people (spouses, bosses, etc.) react to us is largely determined by the things we say and the attitudes we project.

    Advertising

    If you change your thinking from “I hate this job,” to “I’m going to try my best today to make work a better place,” you’ll be amazed at how things feel different.

    Giving first, serving others and smiling when you don’t feel like it will change how others perceive and react to you, and will make everything seem better to you.

    Having a lousy attitude hurts you more than anyone else.

    “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

    –Zig Ziglar

    3. Stop thinking about the past.

    If you’re sad or unhappy about stuff that happened yesterday, guess what?

    You’re spending today on something you can’t control or change. Neuroscientists have proven that focusing on regrets from the past harms your brain chemistry and keeps you stuck in unhappiness.

    Deciding instead to making sure you do things differently in the future will improve your outlook and you’ll feel something new in place of regret – hope.

    4. Cut out harmful connections.

    The truth is, there are some people and some situations that are toxic to us.

    If you frequently associate with people whose negativity, abuse, or behavior consistently produces pain and drains your joy, then sometimes the only solution is distance.

    Advertising

    If you can’t make it better, then save yourself by getting the toxicity out of your life. Your brain will thank you, and your happiness will rise.

    5. Doubt your doubts.

    If you’re stuck in a miserable place because you’re simply too afraid to try something new, have a little faith!

    Believe in yourself that if you take a step towards life change things will improve, and your doubts will start to drain, making room for the possibility of a better life.

    Even if you try something new and it doesn’t work out, your heart will beat stronger with the knowledge that you really tried. You’ll regroup and next time get a little closer to the change you really want.

    If you want to feel happier, you have to tune up your thinking.

    Advertising

    Change your thinking, and you’ll change your life.

    Featured photo credit: Jessica H. Tam via flickr.com

    More by this author

    Use These 5 Secrets to Help Your Jeans Fit Using Weight Loss Science Overweight Stop Waiting to Lose Weight: Five Ways to Start Today Hunting for Happiness? Five Ways to Change Your Mind and Be Happier.

    Trending in Communication

    1 11 Red Flags in a Relationship Not To Ignore 2 Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating 3 7 Simple Ways To Be Famous In One Year 4 How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways) 5 31 Simple Ways to Free Your Mind Immediately

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on February 11, 2021

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

    Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

    The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

    Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

    Perceptual Barrier

    The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

    Advertising

    The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

    The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

    Attitudinal Barrier

    Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

    The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

    Advertising

    The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

    Language Barrier

    This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

    The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

    The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

    Advertising

    Emotional Barrier

    Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

    The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

    The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

    Cultural Barrier

    Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

    Advertising

    The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

    The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

    Gender Barrier

    Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

    The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

    The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

    And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

    Reference

    Read Next