Advertising
Advertising

How To Stop Lying And Be Honest To People

How To Stop Lying And Be Honest To People

Everyone lies; as a whistleblower and supporter of Anon, I’ve learned that fact repeatedly and explored the applications of both honesty and deceit in decent society. It’d be nice if we lived in an ideal world in which honesty was the only way to roll, but it’s only by accepting ourselves as capable liars that we can begin to understand the real meaning of truth. Here’s how to stop lying and be honest to people:

1. Accept Yourself.

FrosttheGreat Kreuger Lifehack Versability

    Freddy K got burned so often, he eventually lashed out…

    Advertising

    Let’s be honest – you don’t look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, and you’ll never have their looks, talent, or money. That doesn’t mean you can’t still be happy. If you have a dream, work toward it, and accept who and where you are in life. You don’t have to exaggerate your circumstances. What you’re going through is enough on its own; we all understand how annoying it is to change a flat tire without ninjas attacking you.

    2. Respect Yourself.

    There’s no need to pretend you’re someone you’re not in order to impress people. Have a little self-respect and do what impresses you. Historically, it’s those who stick out that make it into the history books that those who fit in read and write. Those boring encyclopedias and other annals of human history aren’t listing off people like Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Napoleon because they fitted in. Respect who you are – you ain’t gotta lie to kick it.

    3. Dancing in the Frying Pan.

    cooking_by_bloxy062-lifehack
      Advertising

      In the land of the blind, Captain Obvious is a true hero…

      Some people lie because they’re just used to using deceit as a way to hide or get out of trouble. Their parents likely abused them, and they had to hide their true selves as kids, so now they’re hiding their true selves from everyone. Being yourself is something you learn through experience, so if you’re always hiding what you really think or feel behind a veil of deceit, maybe it’s time you learned to take the heat from your decisions and choices.

      4. Protect Yo Neck.

      We used to live in a society where you could lie your way out of trouble on a massive scale. These days, however, it’s not going to happen. There are too many citizen journalists, whistleblowers, and other societal disrupters who love catching people in the act of deceit. The media loves braiding nooses to string up liars, so if you allow your web of lies to grow beyond your control, watch out!

      Advertising

      5. The Other Shoe.

      Converse Lifehack Versability

        Learn to differentiate the gray areas from the black and white…

        Take the perspective of the other person; how would you perceive yourself? This simple exercise in your relationships and dealings with people makes it easier to understand where they’re coming from and adjust yourself accordingly. Think of it this way: Do you enjoy being lied to? Do you like that feeling where you know someone is misleading you? If not, then don’t do it to someone else.

        Advertising

        6. Stop Being Yao Ming.

        I hate my birthday; I don’t mind the reminder of my inevitable aging or practically daring myself to get diabetes through overly sweet cake. What’s annoying is being the center of attention. Being in the center means all the focus is on you. While some people lie to hide from attention, others do it to gain exposure. Both issues boil down to the same thing – you need to stop basing your worth on what others think of you.

        7. Courage under Fire.

        It’s important to understand that both deceit and honesty are choices; in order to be honest, sometimes you’re going to face some tough times. This is normal, and choosing honesty in those times when everyone else is following company policy or adhering to the mythical code of the streets (which isn’t legally binding on any streets) is a really difficult thing to do. Learning to stand alone against all odds builds character so you can become the person you honestly should be.

        Honesty isn’t always the best policy (telling a loved one on their deathbed that really you always hated them probably isn’t the best idea), but it’s one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal. Learning to overcome the shame and stigma around deceit and accepting that everyone does it will make you more aware of how often you actually lie in your daily life. From there, all you have to do is start being honest with yourself, and you’ll eventually be honest with others.

        More by this author

        How to Disappear Completely and Start a New Life 7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone How to Live Life to the Fullest Say Goodbye to a Skinny Body: How to Gain Weight Fast 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About (+ How to Ditch These Worries)

        Trending in Communication

        1 The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach 2 How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home 3 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 4 18 Ways to Have Effective Communication in the Workplace 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on February 21, 2019

        The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

        The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

        In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

        Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

        Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

        Conflicts are literally everywhere.

        Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

        Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

        Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

        Advertising

        Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

        Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

        Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

        The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

        Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

        Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

        How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

        Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

        Advertising

        Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

        Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

        How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

        Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

        Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

        Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

        How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

        Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

        Advertising

        Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

        Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

        How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

        Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

        Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

        Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

        How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

        Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

        Advertising

        Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

        Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

        How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

        Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

        Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

        Read Next