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How To Stop Lying And Be Honest To People

How To Stop Lying And Be Honest To People

Everyone lies; as a whistleblower and supporter of Anon, I’ve learned that fact repeatedly and explored the applications of both honesty and deceit in decent society. It’d be nice if we lived in an ideal world in which honesty was the only way to roll, but it’s only by accepting ourselves as capable liars that we can begin to understand the real meaning of truth. Here’s how to stop lying and be honest to people:

1. Accept Yourself.

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    Freddy K got burned so often, he eventually lashed out…

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    Let’s be honest – you don’t look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, and you’ll never have their looks, talent, or money. That doesn’t mean you can’t still be happy. If you have a dream, work toward it, and accept who and where you are in life. You don’t have to exaggerate your circumstances. What you’re going through is enough on its own; we all understand how annoying it is to change a flat tire without ninjas attacking you.

    2. Respect Yourself.

    There’s no need to pretend you’re someone you’re not in order to impress people. Have a little self-respect and do what impresses you. Historically, it’s those who stick out that make it into the history books that those who fit in read and write. Those boring encyclopedias and other annals of human history aren’t listing off people like Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Napoleon because they fitted in. Respect who you are – you ain’t gotta lie to kick it.

    3. Dancing in the Frying Pan.

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      In the land of the blind, Captain Obvious is a true hero…

      Some people lie because they’re just used to using deceit as a way to hide or get out of trouble. Their parents likely abused them, and they had to hide their true selves as kids, so now they’re hiding their true selves from everyone. Being yourself is something you learn through experience, so if you’re always hiding what you really think or feel behind a veil of deceit, maybe it’s time you learned to take the heat from your decisions and choices.

      4. Protect Yo Neck.

      We used to live in a society where you could lie your way out of trouble on a massive scale. These days, however, it’s not going to happen. There are too many citizen journalists, whistleblowers, and other societal disrupters who love catching people in the act of deceit. The media loves braiding nooses to string up liars, so if you allow your web of lies to grow beyond your control, watch out!

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      5. The Other Shoe.

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        Learn to differentiate the gray areas from the black and white…

        Take the perspective of the other person; how would you perceive yourself? This simple exercise in your relationships and dealings with people makes it easier to understand where they’re coming from and adjust yourself accordingly. Think of it this way: Do you enjoy being lied to? Do you like that feeling where you know someone is misleading you? If not, then don’t do it to someone else.

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        6. Stop Being Yao Ming.

        I hate my birthday; I don’t mind the reminder of my inevitable aging or practically daring myself to get diabetes through overly sweet cake. What’s annoying is being the center of attention. Being in the center means all the focus is on you. While some people lie to hide from attention, others do it to gain exposure. Both issues boil down to the same thing – you need to stop basing your worth on what others think of you.

        7. Courage under Fire.

        It’s important to understand that both deceit and honesty are choices; in order to be honest, sometimes you’re going to face some tough times. This is normal, and choosing honesty in those times when everyone else is following company policy or adhering to the mythical code of the streets (which isn’t legally binding on any streets) is a really difficult thing to do. Learning to stand alone against all odds builds character so you can become the person you honestly should be.

        Honesty isn’t always the best policy (telling a loved one on their deathbed that really you always hated them probably isn’t the best idea), but it’s one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal. Learning to overcome the shame and stigma around deceit and accepting that everyone does it will make you more aware of how often you actually lie in your daily life. From there, all you have to do is start being honest with yourself, and you’ll eventually be honest with others.

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        Last Updated on August 10, 2020

        10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

        10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

        Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

        If you’re ready to do what you want in life, then the 10 principles of success are what you need to follow.

        You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

        Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

        You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

        Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

        1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

        If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

        Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

        When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

        Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

        So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

        Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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        2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

        Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

        Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

        • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
        • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
        • Answer a few Superpower Questions

        Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

        3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

        Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

        The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

        You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

        Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

        Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

        4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

        The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

        Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

        To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

        This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

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        5. Embrace Your Inner Self

        Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

        Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

        • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
        • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
        • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

        The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward. Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

        Here’s How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment.

        6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

        I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

        To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

        Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

        A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

        Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

        Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

        7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

        Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

        Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

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        What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

        Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

        8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

        Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

        Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

        What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

        These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

        9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

        Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

        This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

        Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

        “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

        10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

        Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

        Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

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        You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

        You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

        Final Thoughts

        Eleanor Roosevelt said,

        “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

        Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

        By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

        If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

        This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

        Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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        Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

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