Advertising
Advertising

How To Always Be Yourself And Make Your Life More Fulfilling

How To Always Be Yourself And Make Your Life More Fulfilling

In a world that wants you to conform, follow the rules, and keep up with the Joneses, it can be really hard to always be yourself. And yet, it is completely necessary if you want to make your life more fulfilling.

Frustration, resentment, and unhappiness are just a few of the feelings that can come from trying to be someone else’s ideal version of you. On the other hand, contentment, joy, and peace are a few of the feelings that can come from being true to yourself.

It’s not always an easy path to take because it takes courage and vulnerability, but with a few key practices you can hold true to you and create a fulfilling life.

Take 5.

As a solo entrepreneur, being true to myself and taking a stand for what I believe in are integral pieces of building a business I really want to have. But there are days when all of the items on my to do list plus the distractions of social media, email, and kids running through the house can leave me feeling overwhelmed and questioning what I’m really doing… and who I really am.

So I take a break. Sometimes for just 5 minutes. And during that break, I turn off all electronics, walk away from my to do list, and find a quiet spot. This is an opportunity to breathe and reconnect to myself.

Advertising

After taking five, I feel centered and grounded. Like I’ve landed again. And from here, I can move forward again.

Action: Take a five minute break from everything. Breathe, meditate, go for a walk, or dance it out. But whatever you do, make sure it is something that brings you back to you.

Be kind to yourself.

I have days when nothing feels right. My jeans don’t fit, my energy is low, and I just don’t want to be around anyone. Least of all myself.

But rather than fight this feeling and force myself to smile and call a friend and be around people, I have learned to be gentle with myself. I let myself sleep in. I read a book. I eat what sounds good… without judgment.

Giving myself time to expand into the “not-right” feelings, allows it to pass sooner, and I find myself back on my path way faster than when I’ve tried to fight it.

Advertising

Action: When your inner bully is calling you names and when you feel “off”, do something kind for yourself. Take a bubble bath, take a nap, watch your favorite movie… but do it with love and without judgment.

Celebrate the small stuff.

We all celebrate the big stuff: you get a promotion, graduate from college, get married, have a baby, etc. But these events don’t happen very often.

When I first left my corporate job to start my own business, I had a constant sense of failure and dread. Nothing felt like it was going well.

But after a while, I realized that I wasn’t giving myself enough credit, and I was measuring success by outdated standards (aka getting the bonus checks and launching the multimillion dollar products).

So I started a practice of celebrating the small stuff. And by celebrate I don’t mean going out to a 5-star restaurant, sometimes it’s enough to just get a high five from my husband.

Advertising

Celebrating the small stuff is about acknowledging the good stuff that you make happen every day, whether that’s “I got one new subscriber” or “I made my first video” or “I landed my first speaking gig”.

And by celebrating the small stuff, you reinforce the good work you are doing every day. The little things that happen because you are being you.

No matter how big or small, every day there is something to celebrate.

Action: Take five minutes at the end of each day to list what went well (or your accomplishments).. at least 3.

Think about someone else.

No matter who you are, you have people in your life: family, friends, coworkers, neighbors. And you have someone who relies on you for something, whether it is for keeping a roof over their heads and food in the fridge or a smile, a helping hand, a friendly reminder.

Advertising

On those days when everything is overwhelming and frustrated, I think about my husband. Or my best friend. Or my stepsons. And I remember not just how important they are in my life, but what I add to theirs. This isn’t a conceited line of thinking. This is taking credit for what I bring to the table.

Whether that’s my sense of humor, supportiveness, uncanny ability to pick just the right gift, or the example I set. I add to their lives. This reminder helps me be more of who I am because I know that it’s important to someone else.

You are important to others. Remember that.

Action: When you get overwhelmed in your daily life, take a few minutes to think about who you impact by being you and doing the things you do.

Your life is what you make it.

How you show up, how happy you are, and how fulfilling your life is, are all up to you. You get to make the choices every day to step into courage and own who you are — or not. It’s not always easy to choose courage, but it is completely worth it.

Love yourself first, and the rest will follow.

Featured photo credit: Brandon Warren via farm5.staticflickr.com

More by this author

How To Always Be Yourself And Make Your Life More Fulfilling

Trending in Communication

1 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You 2 How to Make Positive Changes Now (And Start Living a Fulfilling Life) 3 7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive 4 10 Things a Happy Person Does Differently 5 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

Advertising

When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

Advertising

3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

Advertising

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

Advertising

7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

Read Next