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9 Things You Need to Stop Expecting from Others

9 Things You Need to Stop Expecting from Others

Life is full of experiences and trials that you never saw coming. Sometimes what we expect to happen and the reality of the situation are 2 very different things. Expectations are nice to have. They give you goals, purpose, joy and even something to look forward to, but you have to understand that life happens: you’re not always in control.

Some expectations are good to have and some are unhealthy. Here’s a list of expectations that if you have, you need to change. By changing certain expectations in your life, you are opening yourself up to new experiences, new ways of thinking and even a greater sense of accomplishment that you otherwise could not have received.

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Stop Expecting People to be Perfect:

If you have this mindset, you will always be disappointed. People will never live up to your expectations. There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations for people, but understand that when they fail, and they will, they still tried. Be understanding and don’t expect perfection.

Stop Expecting the Worst from People:

On the flip side, if you’re always expecting people to fail, you’re not giving them the chance to succeed. Encourage those around you. Help them, teach them. That’s how they will grow and be able to accomplish hard things.

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Stop Expecting People to Pay for You:

Your finances are your responsibility. You shouldn’t expect people to pay for your entertainment, your bills or even your groceries. Get in control of your money. Once you have a budget, stick to it. Just because all your friends go out to lunch doesn’t mean you have to. There are differences between needs and wants—if you want something, save up for it; don’t expect your friends or family to pitch in and get it for you.

Stop Expecting Things to Always Go Wrong:

Whatever streak of bad luck you may think you’ve been having, you shouldn’t come to expect that out of everything. Learn to stay positive. If you look for the good in things you will find them, and it’s the same with bad things. If your whole focus is on situations never turning out how you want them to, they never will.

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Stop Expecting Fairness in Everything:

Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes you don’t get the recognition or reward for your hard work; that’s just how it is. Learn to be ok with giving something your all and not expecting anything in return.

Stop Expecting Things to be Easy:

If you only ever do the simplest things, you’ll never do anything great. Life is hard. Trials will come your way that you don’t feel prepared for. But know that you can stay strong and do hard things. Anything worth achieving in life requires hard work, diligence and self-discipline. If you only strive for mediocrity, that’s all you’ll ever be.

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Stop Expecting Something for Nothing:

If you don’t put any effort into accomplishing something you want, you’re not going to get the results you desire. If you want to lose weight, you have to make changes by eating healthy and exercising. You can’t eat what you want, when you want and still expect to look amazing. If you want something, then work your hardest to achieve it.

Stop Expecting People to Change:

People are habitual. We like things to be constant. It’s comfortable. We can change, but it takes time. If you desire someone else to change, you need to start with yourself. You don’t have the power to change anyone other than yourself, and once you realize that, your life will be a lot happier.

Stop Expecting People to Drop Everything for You:

You’re not the only one who has bad days. Friends and family members should be someone you can count on to help you when life gets hard, but don’t abuse these relationships. Learn to take care of yourself. Being independent is healthy. You shouldn’t have to insist that you do everything on your own, but you don’t want to keep putting your friends and family members in a position that causes them to miss out on important events in their lives because they are helping you.

Having expectations is about finding balance in life. You have to know when you’re asking too much and when you can ask for more. It can be hard but we all need to let go of our unrealistic expectations and learn to live a healthier, happier life.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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