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8 Unnecessary Worries That Can Ruin Your Relationship

8 Unnecessary Worries That Can Ruin Your Relationship

Relationships can be difficult, but they don’t have to be. One of the things that makes them difficult is when people worry obsessively over things they probably shouldn’t. What people worry about varies from person to person, but here are 8 common things that many people stress about that can ruin relationships. Think about it. Do any of these sound like you?

Do you worry that …

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1. Your partner might cheat.

Everyone wants to be their partner’s “one and only,” right? Somewhere, deep inside (or not so deep), we think that once we’re in our relationship, our boyfriend or girlfriend won’t even notice anyone else but us. But let’s think about this for a minute. No one becomes blind to attractive people in the world just because they start dating someone. It’s pretty normal, actually. But not everyone acts on their attraction. What you need to do is work on your self-esteem so that you think that if your partner wanted to cheat on you then they don’t appreciate a quality person like yourself, and so you wouldn’t want them anyway.

2. Your partner might break up with you.

Again, as I said in the first point, fearing that your boyfriend or girlfriend might dump you is rooted in low self-esteem. Plus, it’s just wasted negative energy. If you feel good about yourself, then you wouldn’t worry about them breaking up with you. You should think that you’re a real catch. Because you are! Have the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you. That way, you won’t put negative emotions out there and ruin the relationship.

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3. You’re not good enough for the partner.

Okay, you are going to start seeing a theme here. Self-esteem, self-esteem, self-esteem! It all comes down to having good self-esteem. If you think you’re not good enough for your partner, why do you think this? Do you think you’re too fat? Too short? Too uneducated? Too poor? Too shy? Too unattractive? And the list goes on. Well, get over it! Realize that you are good enough for your partner. I’ve heard many people say that the most attractive quality in a person is self-confidence. So, if a super model is unsure of herself, many men would find her “less attractive.” Conversely, if an average, overweight person exudes self-love and confidence, that is much more attractive.

4. Your partner is not good enough for you.

Or, maybe you have too much self-esteem. Okay, I think that’s an oxymoron. But, there is a fine line between having self-confidence and being egotistical. Actually, people who come across as egotistical don’t really love themselves. They just want to appear like they do, which is why they put so much effort into having other people focus on them. However, with that said, you need to accept and love your partner for who they are. Everyone is perfect in his or her own wayBut that doesn’t mean that everyone is perfect for you. If you don’t feel like the two of you are a good match, then move on! A happy relationship comes from compatibility and equality.

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5.Your partner’s friends and family don’t like you.

Hello? Self-esteem again? Why wouldn’t they like you? Are you a horrible person? Probably not! If they don’t like you, then one of three things are going on: (1) you really are a horrible person (probably not!), (2) they are a bad judge of character (maybe), or (3) they are just very, very different people than you are (think extrovert vs. introvert, or overly intellectual vs. not so much). And honestly, #3 is probably the most likely. If #3 is true, it’s really no big deal. So what if you’re different? If everyone was the same, then the world would be a very boring place.

6. Your partner prefers to be with other people over you.

I’m not going to say it again. You know what I’m thinking (yep, self-esteem issues). Okay, so even if your partner does spend a lot of time with his or her friends, family, or at work, does that mean that they don’t love you? Absolutely not! Everyone is different! An extrovert and an introvert have a very difficult time understanding each other. Extroverts love and need to spend time with a lot of people. Often. Introverts don’t need that. So it can seem like a personal rejection to the introvert, but it’s not. It’s just that you are different. Spending time with other people does not equal rejection!

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7. Your partner isn’t attracted to you anymore.

This one could be based in self-esteem, or it could be that a lot of time has gone by and your partner just doesn’t seem to be as sexually responsive to you as he or she did in the beginning of the relationship. Actually, that’s not an uncommon occurrence. But don’t fret. If you have gained weight or lost sight of taking care of yourself, then do something about it! But if it’s just a natural progression through different phases of a relationship, then don’t worry about it. You will settle into a natural rhythm. If you don’t, then talk about it and meet in the middle. And if that doesn’t work for you, then move on!

8. You don’t have enough sex (or too much).

As I said in #7, maybe it’s just a relationship phase. Or maybe one partner has physically changed a lot. Or maybe one partner seems like a nymphomaniac compared to the other’s sex drive. Either way, this situation calls for having an open, honest conversation. Communication is key to a good, healthy relationship. So if your sex life isn’t what you want it to be, then just talk to each other. Sharing perspectives helps clear the air and helps you both understand each other.

To sum it all up, remember two things. First, love yourself! You are beautiful (or handsome) and awesome! Don’t let any worrying mess up your relationship. If you don’t love yourself, then work on your self-esteem. It can be done! And second, worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen. Negative energy aimed toward your partner isn’t productive. It just adds to the problem. So love yourself, embrace the positive, and be happy.

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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