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8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Read Relationship Advice

8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Read Relationship Advice

“And Who are you to tell me what to do with my relationship?”

If you’re reading this post right now, you’ve probably mumbled that question when you saw the latest relationship advice post on Facebook. But you read it anyway, by fear of missing out on potentially great advice only to realise it wasn’t that great.

Well, here are 9 reasons why next time you should feel comfortable with not clicking. You won’t miss that much, I promise.

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1. It Might Actually Be Aimed At One Person

The same way an artist can a write a song for everyone by talking to one person, relationship advice may be visible to all, but aimed at one person. The author could be trying to get back at someone who offended them, and by taking their advice you could get caught in the crossfire. So the next time you see someone declaring the obvious truth about relationships, think about who might have hurt them earlier and if their message is really aimed at everybody.

2. Good Intentions Are Not Always Effective

“Maybe I should not have said I love you so much”. “Maybe I should not have asked about his ex.”

When we face difficulties in our relationships, it is tempting to believe that alternative options would have worked. But until those maybes have been tested, there is no proof that they will work.

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Which is why regardless of the author’s good intentions, you may not want to make your relationship a lab rat to their maybes.

3. Maggots Don’t Give Flying Lessons (It’s A Butterfly’s Job)

It takes a fair amount of time to properly study why a relationship failed. The same goes with functioning relationships: The author might think he’s enabled to give advice because he was happy in his relationship for a month. But so were many others before it failed in month two. Sometimes the writer giving you advice may not have had enough time for introspection, or to link the right causes to their effects. This could make their advice potentially devastating if taken seriously.

Look at it this way: Would you rather take flying lessons from a maggot or a butterfly?

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4. Birds Of The Same Feather May Sing Differently

A hurting person may develop bias against certain types of people. Although your partner may resemble the writer’s offender, they are still individuals with different influences and different life experiences. Would it make sense to kill every bird because one of them dropped a ‘gift’ on your shirt? No.

Why would you then apply one advice to every Mary or every Robert?

5. Misery Loves Company

It’s usually not out of wickedness, but out of fear of loneliness that people will invite you to share in their misery. If you’re unlucky that misery has just hit a prolific author, guess who it could hit next?

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6. Our Hearts Talk Different Languages

What an act of kindness will do to one heart, expensive gifts will do to another. Treating advice from one type of lover as gospel truth can be ineffective.

7. The Best Advice Now May Only Apply To You Tomorrow

Married couples rarely approach relationships the way singles do, and one week relationships rarely resemble one year relationships. Applying the best advice at the wrong stage of a relationship won’t serve you much.

8. Cultural Differences Matter

When we say love is a universal language, we mean the heartbeat part of it. As for the mechanics of a relationship, they tend to change with cultures. Which is normal. The next time you see relationship advice online, make sure they apply to your cultural circumstances, or you would be giving your partner a steep hill to climb. Wouldn’t be very fair, would it?

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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