Advertising
Advertising

8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Read Relationship Advice

8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Read Relationship Advice

“And Who are you to tell me what to do with my relationship?”

If you’re reading this post right now, you’ve probably mumbled that question when you saw the latest relationship advice post on Facebook. But you read it anyway, by fear of missing out on potentially great advice only to realise it wasn’t that great.

Well, here are 9 reasons why next time you should feel comfortable with not clicking. You won’t miss that much, I promise.

Advertising

1. It Might Actually Be Aimed At One Person

The same way an artist can a write a song for everyone by talking to one person, relationship advice may be visible to all, but aimed at one person. The author could be trying to get back at someone who offended them, and by taking their advice you could get caught in the crossfire. So the next time you see someone declaring the obvious truth about relationships, think about who might have hurt them earlier and if their message is really aimed at everybody.

2. Good Intentions Are Not Always Effective

“Maybe I should not have said I love you so much”. “Maybe I should not have asked about his ex.”

When we face difficulties in our relationships, it is tempting to believe that alternative options would have worked. But until those maybes have been tested, there is no proof that they will work.

Advertising

Which is why regardless of the author’s good intentions, you may not want to make your relationship a lab rat to their maybes.

3. Maggots Don’t Give Flying Lessons (It’s A Butterfly’s Job)

It takes a fair amount of time to properly study why a relationship failed. The same goes with functioning relationships: The author might think he’s enabled to give advice because he was happy in his relationship for a month. But so were many others before it failed in month two. Sometimes the writer giving you advice may not have had enough time for introspection, or to link the right causes to their effects. This could make their advice potentially devastating if taken seriously.

Look at it this way: Would you rather take flying lessons from a maggot or a butterfly?

Advertising

4. Birds Of The Same Feather May Sing Differently

A hurting person may develop bias against certain types of people. Although your partner may resemble the writer’s offender, they are still individuals with different influences and different life experiences. Would it make sense to kill every bird because one of them dropped a ‘gift’ on your shirt? No.

Why would you then apply one advice to every Mary or every Robert?

5. Misery Loves Company

It’s usually not out of wickedness, but out of fear of loneliness that people will invite you to share in their misery. If you’re unlucky that misery has just hit a prolific author, guess who it could hit next?

Advertising

6. Our Hearts Talk Different Languages

What an act of kindness will do to one heart, expensive gifts will do to another. Treating advice from one type of lover as gospel truth can be ineffective.

7. The Best Advice Now May Only Apply To You Tomorrow

Married couples rarely approach relationships the way singles do, and one week relationships rarely resemble one year relationships. Applying the best advice at the wrong stage of a relationship won’t serve you much.

8. Cultural Differences Matter

When we say love is a universal language, we mean the heartbeat part of it. As for the mechanics of a relationship, they tend to change with cultures. Which is normal. The next time you see relationship advice online, make sure they apply to your cultural circumstances, or you would be giving your partner a steep hill to climb. Wouldn’t be very fair, would it?

More by this author

6 Characteristics of Successful People That Make Them Outstanding 10 Signs Of Truly Confident People 7 Reasons Bilinguals Are Always Likeable 8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Read Relationship Advice Shoes These Shoes Will Grow and Surely Change the Lives of Many Children

Trending in Communication

1 7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life 2 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On 3 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 4 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 5 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

Advertising

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

Advertising

These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

Advertising

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

Advertising

7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next