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8 Key Ingredients for a New Successful Relationship

8 Key Ingredients for a New Successful Relationship

Every relationship has a beginning. And it’s in that time that you set the mood for the rest of the relationship. I’m not talking about the first date, or even the third or fifth. I’m talking about once you are in steady relationship with someone you want a future with. This time is crucial to the health of your relationship. This is when you are really getting to know each other and it’s fun and exciting.

If you are both dedicated to making this relationship last, here are 8 great tips to make sure you’re both on the same page and that you are both striving for a successful relationship.

1. Clarify Expectations

Be upfront with each other about what you want out of the relationship. If you expect something but never tell the other person, don’t be surprised when your expectations are never met. Unmet expectations become a point of contention in many relationships. Just be open and honest with each other from the start.

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2. Work Towards a Common Goal

No matter how much you like someone or how much fun you have when you’re with them, if you aren’t working towards a common goal together, the relationship will fail. What do you want this relationship to mean? What do you want it to accomplish? These are important questions that need to be asked. Don’t assume the other person can read your mind. Talk to them.  

3. Forgive Each Other

Forgive and embrace lessons and experiences from each other’s past. We all come with baggage. Learn to forgive each other and yourself for mistakes made in the past or present. This also means that your learn from your mistakes and try not to do them again. As you both grow and make changes for the better together, you will strengthen your relationship.

4. Live in the Moment

Life is happening right now. Make memories together every day. The beginning of a relationship sets the mood for what the relationship will be like in the future. Set high standards for your relationship. When my husband and I first started dating we both expressed the importance of being healthy and active. So, we went out and did things every weekend. We would go jeeping, hiking, swimming, snow shoeing, we even spontaneously joined a polar bear plunge for charity. (That’s when you pay money to jump into a lake that was literally frozen over that morning. Yeah, it was cold, but it’s an awesome memory that we have and love to look back on.) Make sure you are having special experiences together.

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5. Take an Interest in Each Other’s Hobbies

I love to dance and my husband loves fish. My husband is not a dancer and fish scare me. But we have compromised. My husband takes me dancing on some of our date nights and he puts forth an effort to learn. I let him have fish tanks as long as he cleans them and never own an eel. (Those things freak me out!) I also talk to him about his fish and, honestly, I have learned a lot!

It can be fun to take an interest in each other’s hobbies because you get to learn something new and you get to make your partner happy.

6. Prepare for the Future

I know so many couples that look at dating as play time. They spend money like crazy and when they decide to get married, they are already in debt. While dating is a fun time, you still need to be responsible and try to plan for your future. Don’t get in the habit of spending money you don’t have. Stay out of debt.

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7. Pace Yourselves

The same pace doesn’t work for every couple. Some people need a lot of time; others, not so much. My husband and I started dating, eight weeks later we were engaged, four months later we were married. At our one-year anniversary I was six-months pregnant with our first child. We moved a lot faster than most people, but it was right for us. We talked and we were both OK with the pace we had set. Five years later, we’re still going strong and neither one of us regrets anything. (I should probably point out that we had known each other for just over a year before we started dating.)

If you’re uncomfortable with how quickly or slowly things are moving along, say something.

8. Learn to Communicate

Always talk with each other. In a healthy relationship you should be able to talk to each other about anything. Before going into a relationship you have to understand that there will be hard conversations. There will times when you don’t agree with each other. But always make sure that you are there to listen to one another.

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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