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8 Clever Ways to Deal With Shameless People

8 Clever Ways to Deal With Shameless People

If you’ve ever had to deal with a completely shameless person in your life, you know it can be a pain. They walk over, run through, embarrass, and shame those around them, without seeming to bat an eye. So how do you deal with such a person? Here are 8 clever ways to cope.

1. Keep your cool.

Shameless people are usually doing boisterous things to get attention. By not engaging in their drama, you take their power away and remove the wind from their sails. But if you fall into the trap of whatever catastrophe they’re trying to create, you’ll end up the embarrassed one. By not engaging, you separate yourself from the consequences as well as the emotional turmoil.

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2. Avoid shaming them.

According to an article in Psychology Today, shameless people are usually full of deep shame, and their “I don’t care” attitude is how they’re coping with it. What that means to you, is that if you shame them deeper, you’re likely to cause them to act out in a greater way. So return to step one, and keep your cool. You don’t want to set off a chain of events that are targeted at you.

3. Get some sleep.

This may seem entirely unrelated to dealing with shameless people, but not getting enough sleep makes everything and everyone harder to deal with. Sleep recharges your brain, shuffling and discarding memories while you slumber (dreams), so you can wake up refreshed and clear-headed. Your memory, self-control, and attention span are reduced when you’re tired, and sleep deprivation raises hormones causing stress even without an aggravator. So if you are facing an obnoxious over-sharer, or an inappropriately dressed co-worker, you’re going to be much more irritated than you would have been if you’d slept well.

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4. Don’t forget what they’ve done.

I’m all for forgiving people for stupid things they’ve done, because harboring toxic feelings inside is a recipe for disaster. But to forgive, does not mean to forget. If you forget that they have no problem yelling loudly inappropriate phrases in public, then you’ll be the one stuck with egg on your face when everyone in the nice restaurant you’re eating lunch at, is staring in shock. You can make peace without making friends. People don’t change as often as we’d like to think.

5. Set boundaries.

It’s okay to tell people what you find acceptable and what you will not stand for. If you have a co-worker who makes sexual comments, or is a little more “hands on” than you’re comfortable with, it’s perfectly okay to tell them not to treat you that way. Be specific, articulate, and clear. You don’t want there to be any room for interpretation. “I’m not comfortable with physical touch of any kind, or with you referencing my body in any way.” When you set clear boundaries, you will be more capable of taking action against the shameless person, should they cross the line.

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6. Sort out the facts from the drama.

Shameless people are often perpetual liars who boldly and authoritatively spew lie after lie to draw attention to themselves. And they get away with it because no one wants to confront or embarrass them. This can be frustrating, and even confusing at times. But the more ridiculous it is, the easier it will be to sort through it all to find the facts. When you ignore the added drama, and address only the hard facts, it takes away the power of the lies, and discourages that kind of behavior. It shows them that they’ll get attention for being truthful, and so they’ll want to steer more in that direction. And even if they don’t, it will help you to feel more in control.

7. Stay aware.

Getting caught off guard can suck you right into the trap of a shameless person. Before you know what’s happening, you’re angry and arguing, when you could have kept your cool. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons, if you don’t see it coming. If you’re alert, you can remove yourself from the situation and take a moment to regroup. While you’re alone, come up with a plan to deal with the situation, and attack it head on. In this way, you’ll focus more on the solution than the problem, which will help you to alleviate some of the frustration and anger that can arise when the problem is all you can see.

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8. Maintain a great support system.

Some shameless people are more work than any individual can take on alone, and maintaining a great support system of rational people, can help you to keep a clear perspective. When someone is ranting loudly at you about their biased thinking all day long, it can start making you feel like you’re the cray one, but if you have friends or coworkers that are rational, they’ll set the record straight. They may even be able to laugh about it with you, which will alleviate some of the stress it’s causing.

Featured photo credit: Ryan Mcguire via gratisography.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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