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7 Ways To Make Dating Less Stressful And Find A Happy Relationship

7 Ways To Make Dating Less Stressful And Find A Happy Relationship

Dating can be stressful. Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or spending time trying to find the person of your dreams, it can be overwhelming and can result in a less than stellar experience. When dating becomes difficult, it is easy to settle to get out of the dating meat market. Don’t fall into the trap! Here are seven ways to make dating less stressful and find a happy relationship.

Meet more people.

Be open to meeting people every day. You don’t have to be a serial dater to meet people. Rather find people at work, at the gym, the grocery. Why is this important? We put too much pressure on making dates perfect in part because we don’t want to lose the opportunity. Get rid of the scarcity mindset regarding meeting the right person! Lower expectations and just have fun. When you’re meeting people everyday, you’ll know there are plenty of options and be less likely to settle.

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Meet the right people.

There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Sound advice, perhaps, but it happens to miss the point. You aren’t looking for more, more the right. There’s really two ways to help ensure you find the right person. The first, and most obvious, is to meet people who have similar interests, who share friends with you, and who you have a great chance of being compatible with. This challenging task has become slightly easier with the popularization of online dating, allowing to get to know someone without all the pressure. The other, less thought about reason to meet the right people? Lose the wrong ones quickly. Understand what you’re looking for and don’t settle for less.

Shrug off rejection.

Rejection hurts. But how much it hurts depends on you! Don’t dwell on bad experiences. Learn from them. Keep your expectations in check and understand most dates aren’t going to turn into a relationship. Rejection doesn’t mean you are not good enough. When you have the right mindset, you’ll be less stressed, be able to shrug off rejections, and find a happy relationship that actually works.

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Find yourself first.

Start with yourself first. Know what you’re looking for, what you enjoy, and how you want to be treated. Too many people spend most of the dating process trying to impress someone into liking them. Don’t fall into that trap. Be yourself, do what you like, and see where the chips fall. You don’t need someone else to complete you. Understand this and make sure he or she complements you rather than complete you.

Keep it simple.

Dating can seem overwhelming. Keep it simple. Start slow. Grabbing a cup of coffee or meeting at an event you’re both attending can be an easy way to test the waters. Don’t buy into the hype of dating games. Be open. Be honest. And move at the speed you’re comfortable going. You’ll find the process can be much less stressful when you keep it simple.

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Be yourself.

Trying to keep up an image that’s not natural can be terribly stressful, plus makes for a forced relationship even if it does work. Being true to yourself will make dating less stressful and more fun. You’ll also find you have a better chance for a happy relationship once you get past the honeymoon stage. It’s easy to overlook flaws in the beginning, but if you stay true to yourself, you’ll have a successful, happy relationship.

Make dates fun.

Dating should be fun! Don’t take it so seriously. Don’t focus solely on the romance. Focus on finding something you both love doing and have fun. If you both love nature, take a walk in the local park. If you’re sports nuts, check out a local sporting event. Find dates that let you be yourself, and most importantly, get to know your date. Don’t fall into the trap of doing a movie and dinner, think outside the box and have some fun. You’ll have a much less stressful and fun experience.

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Featured photo credit: Cekna via flickr.com

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Kyle Robbins

Founder, BrandingBeard.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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