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7 Things That Make A Woman Beautiful That Makeup Can’t Do

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7 Things That Make A Woman Beautiful That Makeup Can’t Do

Many women think that the key to beauty lies in the bottom of their makeup bag. There are a million and one reasons why women believe this: they’re judged on their appearance, pop culture and mass media support those judgements, and big business makes its money off shamelessly promoting the before and after effects of their miraculous products. The truth is, being beautiful doesn’t come from a lipstick tube, mascara wand, or blush brush. The following seven factors create a more lasting impression than any amount of makeup ever could:

1. Her passions

A woman who is without passion is one dull woman. At times life can feel like a Mack truck, ready to roll over us all at a moment’s notice. It’s hard for a woman to slow down and take time to do the things that truly bring her joy, but when she neglects the part of herself that ignites her, then she is living a passionless existence. A woman who takes the time to follow her passions, whatever they may be, understands that life is too precious to speed along without enjoying the ride. A woman who enjoys all that life has to offer, not just her partner or her relationships, is a woman who others admire. Why? Because passion is contagious. Watching someone pursue her dreams is just about the most beautiful experience human beings can have.

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2. Her compassion

A cold-hearted woman may love herself, but who loves her back? Think about this. If a woman is incapable of feeling for others, who will feel for her? Compassion, whether one is a mother, lover, colleague, mentor, or friend, is the adhesive glue that holds relationships together. Though self-absorbed celebrities are splayed over the front covers of the magazine rack, most men don’t find narcissists all that appealing. The reality is, if a woman loves herself more than she is capable of loving another, the only beauty she can boast of having is skin deep. A woman who understands how to give and receive love is much more desirable than a woman who has none to spare.

3. Her mind

There is a popular myth in our culture that a beautiful woman isn’t smart. In fact, this stereotype condemns women in two ways because the implication is that smart women aren’t beautiful. This is a lose-lose scenario. If a woman looks too appealing then she can’t have anything going on upstairs, and if she “has her nose in a book” then she can’t be a looker. A woman who doesn’t take time to cultivate her mind is like a writer who never reads books. Neglecting one’s intellect is similar to shouting, “I don’t need to understand the world — the world needs to understand me!” Life doesn’t work like this. The pursuit of knowledge and truth is not only attractive, but essential to our existence. Knowledge is empowerment and empowerment is sexy.

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4. Her fun-loving spirit

Ever tried to have fun with Debbie Downer? It’s really hard to share the same space with a Negative Nancy and here’s why: No one loves a mope. This is not to say that a woman must be Positive Peggie all the time. A woman can and will taste disappointment in her life just like everyone else. The point is, a sense of adventure and appreciation for all that life has to offer is more attractive than relentlessly sticking to routine and taking life’s opportunities for granted. If a woman can’t relax enough to take a spontaneous walk with her child or sing her favorite song in the shower, who wants to join her? Her child doesn’t dare ask her, and her husband doesn’t dare climb in the back of the tub — capiche?

5. Her resilience

Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who refuses to give up. Tenacity, whether in one’s career, marriage, or physical health, is inspiring. The world loves a fighter. Please don’t misunderstand. This isn’t a call to arms or some sort of ultra-feminist mantra. Fighting over what to have for dinner or which movie to see afterwards, that’s just not pretty. Give in a little, girl. Resilience isn’t about a woman’s control or refusal to cede control over to another. It’s about believing that life can never defeat her unless she allows herself to become defeated. Accepting the worst or the best in equal stride, acting in such a way that either outcome will not control her, that’s beautiful.

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6. Her confidence

Speaking of beauty, let’s talk about boasting. There’s a fine line between bragging and being confident. Bragging is when a woman deliberately describes herself in a self-congratulatory manner so that others will do just that: congratulate her. Seeking out praise for the sake of one’s ego isn’t just selfish — it’s ugly. Confidence isn’t about wanting others to notice us and wanting them to tell us how good we look, speak, think, or act. Confidence is about a woman feeling proud of how she looks, speaks, thinks, or acts. A woman who doesn’t need other people’s reassurance to help her feel this pride in herself is infinitely more appealing than a woman who incessantly seeks others’ approval.

7. Her energy

Finally, the most beautiful quality about a beautiful woman can be summed up by the total effect of all of the above. It’s her energy. A woman who has an unmatchable vitality for life is and should be idolized. Set her in stone or marble, if she will stay still long enough. Cast her in bronze, something timeless. When a woman follows her passion, shows compassion, pursues her intellect, keeps a sense of adventure, refuses to give up, and believes herself to be worthy, then her energy will be the spark that lights up everyone and everything around her.

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Featured photo credit: young girl among dandelions summer day via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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