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7 Things Highly Confident Women Do Differently

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7 Things Highly Confident Women Do Differently

We all have examples of confident women in our lives, whether it be a family member, a friend or someone we have not actually met, but admire from afar. We are instantly drawn to this person by their self-assurance and positive outlook on themselves.

They seem resilient against adversity in their lives and turn each stumbling block into a stepping stone to self-fulfillment and happiness. Wonder what their secrets are to believing in themselves? Here are seven rules that they live by to live more confidently.

1. They embrace their purpose

These women know their strengths well and make sure they put themselves in both personal and professional situations where they can utilize these skills. They focus on what they excel in, more than dwelling on their weaknesses.

They acknowledge that they have imperfections, but realize this is part of being human and make every mistake into a personal learning experience.

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2. They practice a self-confidence ritual

Giving themselves a pep-talk whenever they need a little extra confidence, either before a big work presentation or even working through a fight with a loved one, is what make these women stand out.

Whether the ritual entails affirmations while looking at themselves in the mirror or putting on a special outfit that makes them feel good inside and out, these women know what ritual works for them when they need a confidence boost. And, more importantly, they are not afraid to use it.

When asked by Women’s Health magazine what helped her gain self-confidence, Michelle Obama gave sound advice with, “Well, sometimes I give myself a break. So I will retreat a moment from the fray, just to breathe. Because what I’ve learned is that my immediate reaction cannot be the deciding reaction.”

3. They enjoy spending time alone

Reveling in a few moments to themselves during the day to relax and feel free of others’ obligations is a must. Women who are confident are also empowered by going out alone, whether it is to see a movie or enjoy a leisurely dinner at a local restaurant.

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These women cherish their friends and family, but also realize that it is important to have their “me” time, where they can shamelessly indulge themselves. And they can always be social when they are ready.

4. They refuse to buy into the media’s image of a perfect woman

These women do not let the media dictate their physical appearances or behaviors, because they know that it is all false advertising. These women are confident in their lifestyle choices, whether they decide to get married and have a family or not.

They do not feel the need to be stick thin just because it is commonly seen on TV, but instead they know the value of a healthy, active lifestyle.

Actress Jennifer Lawrence voiced her opinion about the media’s effect on young girls when she said,“I think when it comes to the media, the media needs to take responsibility for the effect that it has on our younger generation, on these girls that are watching these television shows and picking up how to talk and how to be cool.”

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5. They refuse to take anything too personally

Letting the hard days and moments in their lives roll off their shoulders is what defines these women, because they know how to keep everything in perspective. Women who have confidence always see the bright light at the end of the tunnel and refuse to wallow in their own pity, because they know it will only harm them in the end.

Confident women are also aware that they cannot control other people’s emotions, only their own, and that is what matters.

Maya Angelou said, on the importance of being authentic and not focusing on the little things, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

6. They ask empowering questions

Asking questions that make them a better individual and have a direct correlation to their own self-fulfillment is another thing that these women have in common. They realize that asking themselves the “why me” question is detrimental to their own well-being and contentment in life.

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They make sure to eliminate the negative broken record that plays in all of our heads and replace it with positive questions like “what do I need to do to be happier in life?” and then follow through with immediate actions.

7. They ask what they can do to improve the world

Asking themselves how they can use their strengths to make the world that they live in a better place is a common trait for these women. First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, was often referred to as the “First Lady of the World,” because of the self-assuredness that she displayed while fighting for human rights.

This selflessness is one of the key factors for confident women, since they know what they are capable of and would like to share their talents with others.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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