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7 Simple Ways to Attract People to You

7 Simple Ways to Attract People to You

We have within us the power to be like the magnet whose pull is irresistible.

“The Law of Attraction is this: You don’t attract what you want. You attract WHAT YOU ARE.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer

1. Love yourself

Be honest with yourself first. If you are pretending to be someone else, your relationships will only last so long because that is not the true image of who you really are. Force yourself to think about what you like about yourself. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when you focus on your positives, you will begin to appreciate yourself more. Positivity brings a desire to be your best–to eat right, to exercise, to look good. As you begin to be at ease with your true self, you will become more accepting of your flaws.

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You will be like a child who loves herself unconditionally. Only then will you be able to love others the same way. And, in return, you will attract people into your life who will love you just the way you are. What you give out is what you will receive.

2. Accomplish with discipline

You will value yourself more if you have a purpose to live for. Define your ultimate goal in life. Break it into realistic interim goals. To accomplish them you have to discipline your mind. You have to first believe in yourself. Do not run away from the challenges that will come your way in the form of distractions or self-limiting assumptions, but face them courageously. Stay positive.

Look at each goal as the bullseye that you have to aim at with a one-point focus. If you miss, your strategy needs perfecting. Get up again and with double the passion, aim from a better angle–and win!

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Your self respect and confidence will increase with every struggle that you overcome, every win you achieve. You will always be a crowd puller where positive people will come to you for inspiration.

3. Be down to earth

Do not brag or show others down because you gain success. Whatever you have done is for your own self esteem. Arrogance makes you complacent. Be grounded with the knowledge that there is another level of goal to accomplish.

Being down to earth also makes you open yourself to listening to the points of view of other people. They may know something that you don’t. This creates mutual respect, which strengthens bonds.

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4. Exude warmth

Stand strong for your family and friends emotionally, financially or just by doing small things to help them in any way. Be sensitive to their feelings. Understand where they are coming from. When you are at peace within yourself, it is easier to let go of any bitterness that you may have carried in the past. This forms a deep emotional connection and gives a powerful sense of security. The warmth of love and happiness that you will now share will never make you lonely in life.

5. Live with zest

There is a time and place for all things in life. Show enthusiasm in the latest technology, what’s in fashion, how things function, learning a new skill. Go out dancing, or participate in any fun activity that you prefer. Once in a while go on an adventure trip. Explore new places. This will not only broaden your horizons but also you will attract other vibrant and happy people who have great zest for life.

6. Have a good sense of humor

Humor is contagious. So whether you are witty, sharing jokes or just laughing you will always be surrounded by people. And laughing together can form intimate, happy relationships that last.

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7. Be selfless

In the broader sense, when your vision expands from focus on you and yours to contributing selflessly to benefit others, you will always have supportive followers.

It’s the goodness of your heart and inner strength of your unique personality that draws people to you and makes them stay.

Featured photo credit: two young friends holding a skateboard and sending a kisses . Summer style pictures. via shutterstock.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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