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7 Simple Ways to Attract People to You

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7 Simple Ways to Attract People to You

We have within us the power to be like the magnet whose pull is irresistible.

“The Law of Attraction is this: You don’t attract what you want. You attract WHAT YOU ARE.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer

1. Love yourself

Be honest with yourself first. If you are pretending to be someone else, your relationships will only last so long because that is not the true image of who you really are. Force yourself to think about what you like about yourself. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when you focus on your positives, you will begin to appreciate yourself more. Positivity brings a desire to be your best–to eat right, to exercise, to look good. As you begin to be at ease with your true self, you will become more accepting of your flaws.

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You will be like a child who loves herself unconditionally. Only then will you be able to love others the same way. And, in return, you will attract people into your life who will love you just the way you are. What you give out is what you will receive.

2. Accomplish with discipline

You will value yourself more if you have a purpose to live for. Define your ultimate goal in life. Break it into realistic interim goals. To accomplish them you have to discipline your mind. You have to first believe in yourself. Do not run away from the challenges that will come your way in the form of distractions or self-limiting assumptions, but face them courageously. Stay positive.

Look at each goal as the bullseye that you have to aim at with a one-point focus. If you miss, your strategy needs perfecting. Get up again and with double the passion, aim from a better angle–and win!

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Your self respect and confidence will increase with every struggle that you overcome, every win you achieve. You will always be a crowd puller where positive people will come to you for inspiration.

3. Be down to earth

Do not brag or show others down because you gain success. Whatever you have done is for your own self esteem. Arrogance makes you complacent. Be grounded with the knowledge that there is another level of goal to accomplish.

Being down to earth also makes you open yourself to listening to the points of view of other people. They may know something that you don’t. This creates mutual respect, which strengthens bonds.

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4. Exude warmth

Stand strong for your family and friends emotionally, financially or just by doing small things to help them in any way. Be sensitive to their feelings. Understand where they are coming from. When you are at peace within yourself, it is easier to let go of any bitterness that you may have carried in the past. This forms a deep emotional connection and gives a powerful sense of security. The warmth of love and happiness that you will now share will never make you lonely in life.

5. Live with zest

There is a time and place for all things in life. Show enthusiasm in the latest technology, what’s in fashion, how things function, learning a new skill. Go out dancing, or participate in any fun activity that you prefer. Once in a while go on an adventure trip. Explore new places. This will not only broaden your horizons but also you will attract other vibrant and happy people who have great zest for life.

6. Have a good sense of humor

Humor is contagious. So whether you are witty, sharing jokes or just laughing you will always be surrounded by people. And laughing together can form intimate, happy relationships that last.

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7. Be selfless

In the broader sense, when your vision expands from focus on you and yours to contributing selflessly to benefit others, you will always have supportive followers.

It’s the goodness of your heart and inner strength of your unique personality that draws people to you and makes them stay.

Featured photo credit: two young friends holding a skateboard and sending a kisses . Summer style pictures. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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