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Effectively Stop Complaining in 7 Easy Steps

Effectively Stop Complaining in 7 Easy Steps

Life is stressful, and complaining may be considered by many as an extension of being absolutely normal. However, complaining affects our brains and our physical health negatively. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real dissatisfaction with our daily lives.

Negative stress can also exacerbate chronic health problems, such as diabetes or asthma. Other physical complaints may include increased headaches, joint pain, and depression. One way to combat these symptoms is through learning how to stop useless complaining.

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    1. Nourish A Positive Attitude

    Change the way you think. Of course, this is far easier said than done, but it is quite possible. Cultivate a positive spin on how you perceive the problem. For example, it is easy to stress over having the perfect child, job, or date. Accept that life is just plain messy. No one and no situation is or can be ‘perfect.’ Accept the situation for what it is and move forward. Keep the pro side heavily weighed against the negatives. When you inevitably experience set-backs, move forward and remember that everyone has them.

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    2. Learn To Adapt

    The only sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. Change is coming whether it’s tomorrow, next month, or next year. Some life changes are significantly sad. Allow a period of grieving. Sometimes, setting a daily time to be sad about the change can help. Acceptance of a situation helps you to adapt positively to life’s changes. Take up the challenge of seeing the positive in a situation, even if it is a small good. Think of the experience as an opportunity rather than an untenable obstacle.

    3. Be More Mindful

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      The past can never be changed and worry about the future is futile; complaining about either is a pointless exercise. Rather, move in the present time and cope only with the present situation as it unfolds. Recognize negative thoughts and replace them with a positive spin. Rather than, “Oh, not the alarm again” think of all that can be accomplished in a bright, new day. While it may sound cliché, learn to graciously accept all that life has to offer–the good and the bad. Even bad circumstances will change, and can teach you more mindful attitudes, such as patience.

      4. Be Assertive

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      1-confidence

        Giving up the bad habit of complaining does not mean allowing yourself to become someone else’s doormat. Assertiveness is the way to tell others what your needs are and how these can be met. Convey confidence through something as simple as posture. Stand up straight, have a firm handshake, and always look people in the eye. Enunciate and speak clearly, you want people to understand your point. Avoid rambling, which may lead to awkward and unproductive pauses. Be firm and express what you want clearly. Don’t leave your meaning to guess work.

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          5. Be Less Judgmental

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            This includes yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and being critical leads to complaining. Should of, would of, and could of are phrases that’s better left out of your vocabulary. Let go of control. It is simply impossible to be in control of every situation, sometimes it is best to lower the stress and simply roll with the consequences. List your strengths to build confidence and, on a better day, list your weaknesses and how to downplay them. Compliment yourself and others. Acknowledge a job well done, or a nicely fitting suit or dress.

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            6. Be Responsible

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              Own your mistakes, but never the mistakes of others. The first step to being responsible is self-respect. Begin by thinking highly of yourself and your decision-making process. There is no reason not to. Keep people in your life who respect you, and fail miserably at taking advantage of you. Eject chronic complainers. Let them carry their complaints elsewhere. Through garnering people in your life that like and respect you, you will naturally reciprocate the respect.

              7. Keep Moving Forward

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                Absolutely refuse to allow life’s obstacles to keep you from moving onward. Sure, there are people and situations that will annoy you. This is no excuse to dwell on the negativity. Remember, “this too shall pass.” The thing that is creating a problem cannot last forever. Most problems are temporary and fleeting. Understanding this is the key to moving forward. Take note of self-doubt and then release these thoughts. Spending time in self-doubt is ultimately a waste. Make your decision and follow through.

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                  As you follow these steps and lessen the habit of complaining, you will find yourself leading a more confident lifestyle. Stop complaining about things beyond your control. Move forward with self-assurance and confidence. Above everything else, be gentle with yourself.

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                  Last Updated on November 26, 2020

                  How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

                  How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

                  As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

                  “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

                  The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

                  5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

                  Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

                  Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

                  1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

                  Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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                  2. Show Compassion

                  If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

                  3. Communicate Regularly

                  Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

                  Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

                  4. Ask for Feedback

                  Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

                  If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

                  5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

                  Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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                  How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

                  Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

                  Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

                  According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

                  You Can Find Good Help

                  It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

                  Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

                  Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

                  Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

                  Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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                  You Pull Together as a Team

                  Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

                  Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

                  Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

                  Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

                  Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

                  Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

                  Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

                  Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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                  Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

                  Your Career Shines Bright

                  Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

                  Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

                  When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

                  Final Thoughts

                  At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

                  At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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                  Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

                  Reference

                  [1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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