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Effectively Stop Complaining in 7 Easy Steps

Effectively Stop Complaining in 7 Easy Steps

Life is stressful, and complaining may be considered by many as an extension of being absolutely normal. However, complaining affects our brains and our physical health negatively. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real dissatisfaction with our daily lives.

Negative stress can also exacerbate chronic health problems, such as diabetes or asthma. Other physical complaints may include increased headaches, joint pain, and depression. One way to combat these symptoms is through learning how to stop useless complaining.

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    1. Nourish A Positive Attitude

    Change the way you think. Of course, this is far easier said than done, but it is quite possible. Cultivate a positive spin on how you perceive the problem. For example, it is easy to stress over having the perfect child, job, or date. Accept that life is just plain messy. No one and no situation is or can be ‘perfect.’ Accept the situation for what it is and move forward. Keep the pro side heavily weighed against the negatives. When you inevitably experience set-backs, move forward and remember that everyone has them.

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    2. Learn To Adapt

    The only sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. Change is coming whether it’s tomorrow, next month, or next year. Some life changes are significantly sad. Allow a period of grieving. Sometimes, setting a daily time to be sad about the change can help. Acceptance of a situation helps you to adapt positively to life’s changes. Take up the challenge of seeing the positive in a situation, even if it is a small good. Think of the experience as an opportunity rather than an untenable obstacle.

    3. Be More Mindful

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      The past can never be changed and worry about the future is futile; complaining about either is a pointless exercise. Rather, move in the present time and cope only with the present situation as it unfolds. Recognize negative thoughts and replace them with a positive spin. Rather than, “Oh, not the alarm again” think of all that can be accomplished in a bright, new day. While it may sound cliché, learn to graciously accept all that life has to offer–the good and the bad. Even bad circumstances will change, and can teach you more mindful attitudes, such as patience.

      4. Be Assertive

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      1-confidence

        Giving up the bad habit of complaining does not mean allowing yourself to become someone else’s doormat. Assertiveness is the way to tell others what your needs are and how these can be met. Convey confidence through something as simple as posture. Stand up straight, have a firm handshake, and always look people in the eye. Enunciate and speak clearly, you want people to understand your point. Avoid rambling, which may lead to awkward and unproductive pauses. Be firm and express what you want clearly. Don’t leave your meaning to guess work.

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          5. Be Less Judgmental

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            This includes yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and being critical leads to complaining. Should of, would of, and could of are phrases that’s better left out of your vocabulary. Let go of control. It is simply impossible to be in control of every situation, sometimes it is best to lower the stress and simply roll with the consequences. List your strengths to build confidence and, on a better day, list your weaknesses and how to downplay them. Compliment yourself and others. Acknowledge a job well done, or a nicely fitting suit or dress.

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            6. Be Responsible

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              Own your mistakes, but never the mistakes of others. The first step to being responsible is self-respect. Begin by thinking highly of yourself and your decision-making process. There is no reason not to. Keep people in your life who respect you, and fail miserably at taking advantage of you. Eject chronic complainers. Let them carry their complaints elsewhere. Through garnering people in your life that like and respect you, you will naturally reciprocate the respect.

              7. Keep Moving Forward

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                Absolutely refuse to allow life’s obstacles to keep you from moving onward. Sure, there are people and situations that will annoy you. This is no excuse to dwell on the negativity. Remember, “this too shall pass.” The thing that is creating a problem cannot last forever. Most problems are temporary and fleeting. Understanding this is the key to moving forward. Take note of self-doubt and then release these thoughts. Spending time in self-doubt is ultimately a waste. Make your decision and follow through.

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                  As you follow these steps and lessen the habit of complaining, you will find yourself leading a more confident lifestyle. Stop complaining about things beyond your control. Move forward with self-assurance and confidence. Above everything else, be gentle with yourself.

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                  Last Updated on September 12, 2019

                  12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

                  12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

                  Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

                  While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

                  What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

                  Here are 12 things to remember:

                  1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

                  The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

                  However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

                  We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

                  Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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                  2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

                  You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

                  Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

                  Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

                  3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

                  Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

                  Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

                  4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

                  Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

                  No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

                  5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

                  Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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                  Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

                  6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

                  Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

                  Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

                  Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

                  7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

                  Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

                  Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

                  And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

                  8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

                  When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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                  Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

                  9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

                  Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

                  Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

                  Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

                  10. Journal During This Time

                  Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

                  This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

                  11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

                  It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

                  The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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                  Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

                  12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

                  The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

                  Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

                  When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

                  Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

                  Final Thoughts

                  Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

                  Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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                  Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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