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6 Simple Steps To Fix A Really Bad Day

6 Simple Steps To Fix A Really Bad Day

You wake up in a bad mood and the day starts badly. You spill your coffee and then miss the train to work. From then on, everything seems to go against you. You are convinced that there are mysterious gremlins or aliens out to get you and ruin your day. But once these negative thoughts start to take hold, then you are just inviting trouble into your life, rather than trying to fix it.

Peter J. Bentley has written a book about this called ‘Why Sh*t Happens: The Science of a Really Bad Day’ and explains that there is scientific evidence to explain minor accidents.

There is no conspiracy theory and there is no mystical significance either. So, forget about Friday 13th and why bad things happen in threes. Stop playing the victim and asking yourself and any deities you may believe in, ‘why me?’ Instead, just ask ‘why?’ There is usually a scientific explanation as to why these things are going wrong.

So, let us put our feet formally back on the ground and learn about some practical ways to fix a really bad day.

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Step 1. Try to stop forecasting negative feelings and emotions

This is the first essential step because if you are just waiting for an accident to happen, then it will. It just leaves you more vulnerable and you are also in a negative mindset. You are just waiting to get another confirmation that you are having a bad day! Expect it and it will surely happen.

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”- Anon

Step 2. Analyze these feelings

Try to figure out what is going on. Why are you feeling like this? You may come to the conclusion that you are angry, frustrated or sad. It is important to stand back and recognize what is going on. One great method is to use is the summary technique. Just sum it up in three words. It may be ‘anxiety about exams’ or ‘sad about mom.’ The labelling process is a great way to lessen the feeling. You decide to move on. A research team at UCLA led by Matthew Lieberman, has done an interesting study on this.

Step 3. Change your routine and do a fun activity

If you have the chance, try to change your routine or the scene a bit. It could be just trying a new restaurant for lunch or deciding to have a quick walk when you see that the sun has come out. Carve out five minutes from your busy schedule so that you can watch a funny video on YouTube.

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Most experts recommend that you also have a hot bath and ring a friend. Great, if you have the time. But let’s face it, most of us have to work for a living and taking a day off to fix a bad day is a luxury we cannot afford. The important thing though is to try and get off the negative track and focus on the positive thoughts. Changing your activities and routine is a great way to do that.

“If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.” – Katharine Hepburn

Step 4. Cultivate a positive attitude and take action accordingly

The next step is to focus on positive actions. Try some self- talk. For example:

  • “Right now, I can do X”
  • “The one good thing about this awful incident is ……”
  • “It could have been a lot worse, I only got a minor burn.”
  • “This is the perfect opportunity to bring the issue up at the next meeting.”

“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.” – Captain Jack Sparrow

Step 5. List the things you are grateful for

Now that you are on the positive track, try to stay there. The next step is to think of all things that you can be grateful for. You may have a job, partner, house, family and good health. These are just a few. You can think these through or make a list. When you think of how grateful you are, this always creates a mood boost.

Step 6. Stay in the present

This is the most important step of all. Learning to forget the past and refusing to dwell on future uncertainties will force us to stay in the present. What we are experiencing now is what counts. When you cannot sleep, focusing on your breathing will help chase away regrets and worries. Concentrate on the actual breathing process. It can really help you get to sleep.

“When the past calls, let it go to voice mail. It has nothing new to say.” – Anon

So, these are the six steps to help you get over a really bad day. Why are we so obsessed with bad days? Perhaps we give them far too much attention. Just think of all the good days we have had and remember that each new day will bring us new opportunities.

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“Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist.” – Anon

Let us know in the comments how you fix a really bad day.

Featured photo credit: A f*ckall day /tracey r via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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