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6 Reasons Why Pain From The Past Is A Gift For You Today

6 Reasons Why Pain From The Past Is A Gift For You Today

Pain is a gift from the Universe. It is a message that we do something wrong and we have to change — our habits, thoughts, actions, emotions or words. It is a time to stop, to take a look at yourself, at your life and go through your values.

Anything in our life is a lesson to make us a better person. No matter pain, joy or success — it teaches us something. The same situation can repeat over and over again till we understand what has been said to us. What we have to learn.

What is pain? What does cause the pain?

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Emotional pain comes when we lose something. No matter what — work, friend, house. It is painful. Because it is not as we wanted, it doesn’t match with our desires and will. Universe has a higher plan, which sometimes is different from ours. Pain is our anger and despair. We can’t accept the change and we want to live in past. It is the attachment and illusion what causes the pain.

Physical pain causes discomfort, accident or if we don’t notice the emotional pain, they become as a physical pain which is hard not to notice. Everything starts in our emotions — pain or happiness.

1. Pain makes you to stop and value your life.

Imagine, you are in rush, you are not being careful even you know what consequences could be. You fall and you hurt yourself. You keep rushing — 3 times, 10 times or hundred of times till you get it. You have to be careful. The same works in invisible world. When people live in rush with never-ending duties, the Universe has to stop, to make you to over think values and your being alive.

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2. Pain makes you stronger and grow within.

It takes a lot of strength to look at the pain from other perspective, but once you are able to do so, you get a lot of understanding, meaning and opportunity to grow within, not to destroy yourself. Our life is how we react on it. Learn to say thank you for what you have or had, not to cry for what you don’t have. Have faith that there is coming something better for you. Be ready for that.

3. Pain is an opportunity to become a better person.

Once you realize that everything on Earth is temporary. You own nothing; any situation, person or thing is given for a time so you can learn from it. You become free. You take everything as a gift, one time opportunity and step by step learn to live here and now and take the best out of it.

4. You learn to understand others.

The higher purpose of our life is to understand ourselves, others and whole Universe. It gives you wisdom, peace and deep inner joy of living. When you truly can express compassion to other, when you can imagine how they feel, you give and share a lot of Light in your life. Just to be next to the person in needs and love.

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5. Pain teaches you to forgive and ask forgiveness.

If you really want to be free and live without resentment, you have to forgive and ask forgiveness. It teaches you to be humble. Forgiveness is a strong message to the Universe; it is one step closer to Love.

6. Pain prepares you for something better in the future and teaches you to appreciate anything in past.

You have to lose to get something in return. If you don’t know how to lose, you can’t learn to win, to succeed. To receive you have to learn to appreciate what you have and share it.

Take pain as a blessing, even it is hurtful. Take your time to cry out, to live the pain, don’t turn the back on it and pretend that it isn’t there. When you renew peace and faith in your heart, take a look at the situation, the pain, and grow. Become stronger and keep living one more step closer to love and your true being.

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Featured photo credit: Because of You/José Luis Mieza via flickr.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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