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6 Reasons Why Pain From The Past Is A Gift For You Today

6 Reasons Why Pain From The Past Is A Gift For You Today

Pain is a gift from the Universe. It is a message that we do something wrong and we have to change — our habits, thoughts, actions, emotions or words. It is a time to stop, to take a look at yourself, at your life and go through your values.

Anything in our life is a lesson to make us a better person. No matter pain, joy or success — it teaches us something. The same situation can repeat over and over again till we understand what has been said to us. What we have to learn.

What is pain? What does cause the pain?

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Emotional pain comes when we lose something. No matter what — work, friend, house. It is painful. Because it is not as we wanted, it doesn’t match with our desires and will. Universe has a higher plan, which sometimes is different from ours. Pain is our anger and despair. We can’t accept the change and we want to live in past. It is the attachment and illusion what causes the pain.

Physical pain causes discomfort, accident or if we don’t notice the emotional pain, they become as a physical pain which is hard not to notice. Everything starts in our emotions — pain or happiness.

1. Pain makes you to stop and value your life.

Imagine, you are in rush, you are not being careful even you know what consequences could be. You fall and you hurt yourself. You keep rushing — 3 times, 10 times or hundred of times till you get it. You have to be careful. The same works in invisible world. When people live in rush with never-ending duties, the Universe has to stop, to make you to over think values and your being alive.

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2. Pain makes you stronger and grow within.

It takes a lot of strength to look at the pain from other perspective, but once you are able to do so, you get a lot of understanding, meaning and opportunity to grow within, not to destroy yourself. Our life is how we react on it. Learn to say thank you for what you have or had, not to cry for what you don’t have. Have faith that there is coming something better for you. Be ready for that.

3. Pain is an opportunity to become a better person.

Once you realize that everything on Earth is temporary. You own nothing; any situation, person or thing is given for a time so you can learn from it. You become free. You take everything as a gift, one time opportunity and step by step learn to live here and now and take the best out of it.

4. You learn to understand others.

The higher purpose of our life is to understand ourselves, others and whole Universe. It gives you wisdom, peace and deep inner joy of living. When you truly can express compassion to other, when you can imagine how they feel, you give and share a lot of Light in your life. Just to be next to the person in needs and love.

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5. Pain teaches you to forgive and ask forgiveness.

If you really want to be free and live without resentment, you have to forgive and ask forgiveness. It teaches you to be humble. Forgiveness is a strong message to the Universe; it is one step closer to Love.

6. Pain prepares you for something better in the future and teaches you to appreciate anything in past.

You have to lose to get something in return. If you don’t know how to lose, you can’t learn to win, to succeed. To receive you have to learn to appreciate what you have and share it.

Take pain as a blessing, even it is hurtful. Take your time to cry out, to live the pain, don’t turn the back on it and pretend that it isn’t there. When you renew peace and faith in your heart, take a look at the situation, the pain, and grow. Become stronger and keep living one more step closer to love and your true being.

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Featured photo credit: Because of You/José Luis Mieza via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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