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5 Reasons Why You Should Let Go Of Things That Won’t Make You Happy

5 Reasons Why You Should Let Go Of Things That Won’t Make You Happy

With every cliché that has been said about happiness, as well as the handful of films and literary pieces that it inspired into creation, it is clearly one of the things people yearn for and go great lengths to achieve. Some take one day at a time, while others take on full-blown transformations synonymous to their definition of happiness.

However, there are many who view happiness as some form of finish line that not everyone is lucky enough to reach. What they don’t realize is that happiness isn’t always about the destination. More often than not, it is in the trip itself where you find what you’re looking for and that anyone can make it there.

But here’s the thing. Sometimes, before we get to the first step of our quest for bliss, we are confronted with major building blocks that we can mistake for happiness. For instance, having a job may make you feel content, but if it’s a job that you don’t exactly like doing, is it really worth calling a source of happiness? The harder part is that it’s difficult to call futile things as they are, much less let go of them completely especially if they have become an integral part of your comfort zone. But hey, don’t they also say that life begins right outside it?

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So to get you started on your road trip to happiness, here are five reasons you should let go of the things that don’t make you happy now, because guess what? They probably won’t make you happy in the future either.

 1. A healthier you.

If you think that your unhappiness doesn’t have an impact on your well-being, think again. In a study conducted by Harvard University’s School of Public Health, it is stated that constant exposure to stress, especially as early as childhood, can inflict harmful effects on a person’s brain and other systems of the body. This can cause a person’s stress hormones to jump faster than normal. Even worse, he or she might develop heart-related ailments. Stress caused by negative emotions can affect bodily functions and aggravate diseases that a person already has, even a common cold.

On the other hand, stress is almost always inevitable, but it pays to channel it to constructive ways. You can start by simply being enthusiastic and positive about a stressful situation. You should also seek support from family and friends so that you don’t carry the whole weight of your burden. However, if you’d rather spend time alone, you can channel your stress through relaxing activities like meditation, yoga, or even painting.

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2. Better relationships.

More often than not, it is those who are close to us that can sense if we are upset or if we are in a good mood. However, there are some who would rather deal with their issues alone that they tend to push people away. While isolating yourself for a while can be helpful, deliberately refusing comfort or help from, say, your partner or a close sibling can cause strain on your relationships.

Instead of figuring out the solution by yourself, consider reaching out to a loved one or a trusted family member. You don’t necessarily have to ask for advice; if it’s only a sympathetic ear you need, the people who truly know you and care about you will respect your choice. However, if you find your relationship going through the adverse effects of negative emotions, you can always seek professional help such as marriage counselling.

3. A thriving career.

One of the most common but downplayed symptoms of unhappiness at work is mentally holding on to the weekend for dear life and wishing you could delay Monday’s arrival.  Such a scenario might be easy for some to shrug off and just get along with work, but if you have a serious case of procrastination, it’s time you do something about it.

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Being stressed at work is all right as long as you still get the satisfaction of doing your job the way you did when you started. Whether it’s the corporate ladder you chose to climb, or started your own enterprise, or pursued your calling in the arts, it’s important that you are genuinely happy about your work. Otherwise, you risk doing half-baked tasks and recording a poor performance–all of which can severely affect your career.

Find ways to rearrange your work routine that will help you accomplish more tasks faster and smarter. If all else fails, you might want to consider quitting, because there is no point in staying in a job that you don’t look forward to doing.

4. A strong bond with your kids.

If your partner is on the front line of your domestic stress absorption committee, your kids come in as close second. For instance, you had a long day at work and you’re welcomed by your son badgering you to play with him. While it’s possible that you’ll give in the first few times, it’s also possible that you won’t when you become more and more tired in the office. On the other hand, if you have any inkling that your unhappiness affects your relationship with your children, take some time to look into the situation and see what you can do to avert a potential crisis.

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Exposing kids to stress can influence them to develop anxieties at an early age and have a conflicted relationship with you. What’s worse is if they develop an unhealthy point of view with having kids of their own in the future. So before you put your kids at risk of such behavior, take it upon yourself to foster between you and them the kind of bond that overlooks stress—a loving one.

5. Life is short.

Not everyone gets a chance, let alone a second one, at things, such as literally and figuratively having a life. If you take into account the reasons listed above and your future, you have more than enough reasons to let go of the things that make you unhappy and pursue what your heart is telling you to. Besides, sticking up for something that doesn’t make you happy only prolongs your agony.

But here’s a fact–you never know how much time you’ve got on your hands. The question is, are you really going to let whatever you have slip by just because you’re too busy griping over things that don’t even make living worthwhile?

Letting go of things that you’ve become used to can be really tough. However,  if you want to be truly happy, you need to let go of the good things to make room for the better ones. Just think—if you don’t see yourself doing something in the next five years, why do it at all? But if you’re searching for happiness and you have your loved ones in tow, don’t settle for things you know are holding you back.

Featured photo credit: surfer via megahdwall.com

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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