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5 Fantastic Spiritual Sayings From 5 Successful Everyday People

5 Fantastic Spiritual Sayings From 5 Successful Everyday People

Leaving the spiritual epicenter of the Floridian islands, and heading to the overindulgent outskirts of New York City can be draining on the soul. To keep my spirits high, I take along these 5 fantastic spiritual sayings– from 5 fantastic, successful everyday people — I’ve met on my journey:

1. “No one is better than you — not even the ground because you step on it — only God is better,” – Galle Sanchez , Islamorada

        FL: Awesome business woman, super mom, loving friend

    Living in the prestigious northeastern region of the United States is awe inspiring. The farms, fresh foods and running horses are all a vision of a picture perfect utopic setting. But somehow, this pseudo-utopia becomes all consuming and soul draining with the long working hours required to afford the high cost of living. And for me, being the only curvy mom in a world of model-esque mommies — combined with sacrifices we make to live here —  is spiritual sabotage. But Galle –who worked her way from being a single mom to a successful entrepreneur — understands that sacrifice means success. She also knows success means never letting yourself think anyone is above you, other than God.

    2. “If something is on your mind, do it now, before you forget and regret not doing it,” – Colleen Hammon, Tavernier

             FL: Spiritual leader, loving mom and grandmother

    "If something is on your mind, do it now, before you forget and regret not doing it," Colleen Hammon - Tavernier, FL; Spritiual leading, loving mom and grandmom.

      Colleen, and her husband Tony, are spiritual leaders in our small Floridian community. She is always encouraging children, parents and friends to not only be the best person they can be, but to also follow their heart in all circumstances. Colleen’s good advise is bestowed upon us so that we should live our life with no regrets.

      3. “When you are where your heart desires, you can accomplish anything,” – Ian Meurer, Mt. Pleasant

              SC: Great dad, adoring husband, super runner

      Dock

        My dear friend Christine and her husband Ian are an inspiring couple. Two years ago they packed up their lives and moved 800 miles south to find a more fulfilling life for their family. These few years later, they are happily settled and loving all the great aspects of a southern lifestyle. One night, over way too many mojitos, Ian gave me this advise.  When we seek out and find what we love — and do it with who you love — it leads us to a happier, more contented life.

         4. “And this too shall pass,” – Mi Padre, Jersey City

                  NJ: Marvelous business man and survivor of Patten’s 3rd Army.

        "When you are where your heart desires, you can accomplish anything," Ian Meurer - Mt. Pleasant, SC; Great dad, adoring husband, super runner.

          Dad would say this every time something unfavorable would occur. After having survived the Great Depression and World War II, he know that all things come to pass — even the bad things — and that in time not only did we become stronger from the lesson, we gain experience and wisdom which makes us stronger and wiser.

          5. “I’m learning to accept it,” – Dan Barrett, Budd Lake

                  NJ: Aspiring marketing guru and adorable nephew.

           "And this too shall pass," Mi Padre -  Jersey City, NJ: Marvelous business man &  survivor of Pattens 3rd Army.

            A few weeks ago, Dan and I were having one of those 1 a.m. conversations about life. And, as he was making his way through a story, he said that he was learning to accept certain people and situations as they are, as well as learning to accept himself for as he is. Now just because I see Dan as a smart, loving and funny doesn’t mean that sees himself that way.  Isn’t that true of all of us. So let’s take this next step to not accept ourselves with our faults but to also try to see ourselves as those who love us do.

            Featured photo credit: Angel, Marin Resnick via flickr.com

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            Last Updated on January 24, 2021

            How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

            How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

            Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

            For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

            But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

            It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

            And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

            The Importance of Saying No

            When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

            In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

            Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

            Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

            Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

            “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

            When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

            How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

            It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

            From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

            We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

            And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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            At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

            The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

            How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

            Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

            But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

            3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

            1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

            Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

            If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

            2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

            When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

            Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

            3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

            When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

            6 Ways to Start Saying No

            Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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            1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

            One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

            Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

            2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

            Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

            Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

            3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

            Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

            Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

            You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

            4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

            Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

            Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

            5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

            When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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            How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

              Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

              Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

              6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

              If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

              Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

              Final Thoughts

              Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

              Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

              Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

              More Tips on How to Say No

              Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

              Reference

              [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
              [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
              [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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