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30 Tips To Become More Confident Nobody Told You Before

30 Tips To Become More Confident Nobody Told You Before

Confidence is belief. It is the ability to rely on something or someone. Self-confidence is your ability to rely on yourself – to rest in the assurance that when it comes right down to it, win or lose, you can count on you. You just need to be more confident than the other person.

If you lack self-confidence, it may feel like a lost cause. But confidence is not an intrinsic quality. Confidence can be learned. Read on to see how.

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30 confidence-building habits you can incorporate into your daily life to allow you to become more confident:

  1. Be clear. Unless you’re The Riddler, it’s time to put away babbling. Be clear. Be direct. Speak without ambiguity.
  2. Speak more slowly. People who talk fast often lack confidence in what they are saying and are usually saying too much.
  3. Make eye contact. In Western culture, the easiest way to truly connect with someone is to give them the respect of looking them in the eyes.
  4. Say hello. Make it a habit to offer a greeting when you pass people on the street, especially if your eyes meet for a moment as you walk by.
  5. Stand up straight. A study by Richard Petty, of Ohio State University, and Pablo Brinol, of the Universidad Automonma de Madrid, found people who sat up straight had more positive thoughts about their own abilities.
  6. Take up more space. Executive coach and author Olivia Fox Cabane talks about the importance of power poses in her book, The Charisma Myth. Power poses take up more space and make you feel more dominant.
  7. Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Conduct a social experiment where you test out your confidence. Focus on exuding dominance. Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Do not veer when another person heads in your direction. See if you can get that person to move off the sidewalk just by the way you carry yourself.
  8. Smile more. Smiling makes you feel good and it puts the people around you at ease.
  9. Giggle less. Laughing at inappropriate times is a sign of insecurity. Now that you are aware, you can slowly begin to break the habit.
  10. Do what you’re good at. Find your strengths and focus your attention on building your strengths, rather than hiding or building your weaknesses.
  11. Listen to compliments. When someone compliments you, graciously accept it. If you find multiple people compliment you on the same thing, internalize it. It may be true.
  12. Exercise. Regular exercise improves your self-confidence, self-awareness and overall health.
  13. Do something that scares you. It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “Every day do something that scares you.” The more fears you conquer, the fewer fears you will have, and the more confident you will become.
  14. Do the worst thing on the list first. As a matter of habit, prioritize every task by doing the most important things on your To Do list first.
  15. Start and finish something challenging. It’s difficult to start something new and it takes effort to see it through. Start and finish something that challenges you. Conquering challenges always boosts confidence.
  16. Create goals that are difficult to reach. We are happiest when we set and strive to attain goals that require some effort on our part. Goal-setting is a great confidence-building habit.
  17. Stop hiding. Be transparent. Show people who you really are and be proud.
  18. Display your hidden talents. Put on display the talents you have that may be judged most harshly or that make you feel insecure. Get it out in the open.
  19. Write things down. Organize your thoughts and time by writing down important information.
  20. Use “I am.” Quite possibly the two most powerful words in the English language, “I am” are your life-sculpting words and it takes courage to say out loud what is really in your heart.
  21. Speak well of yourself. If you say something often enough, you will begin to believe it. Your words are containers for power. The most important opinion in the world is the one you have of yourself.
  22. Get good at something. Master something you always wanted to learn. Get really good at it and do it often.
  23. Learn to tell one great joke really, really well. We can’t all be Jimmy Fallon, but we can all get good at telling one joke. Get the words, the voices and the timing down until it’s flawless. Then take the opportunity to entertain people with that joke once in a while.
  24. Become an active listener. We live in a culture where the ability to multi-task is a desirable trait, but you can’t listen and do something else. It’s one or the other. Learn to listen to people. Give them your full, undivided attention. It will make you a much better conversationalist.
  25. Dress well. Image is important. When you look good, you feel good, and with both of those you become more confident.
  26. Put away the measuring stick. Break the habit of comparing yourself to other people. It is counter-productive.
  27. Celebrate little victories. Resist the temptation to say, “It was nothing.” Every victory counts. Every single one. Celebrate them.
  28. Believe in yourself. Make it a point that whenever you begin to doubt your ability, you stop the “stinkin’ thinkin’” and replace doubt with belief.
  29. Mind your own business. Focus on self-development and doing your best. That’s all you can do and it’s all anyone can require of you.
  30. Help out. There’s nothing like helping someone reach their goals. The late Jim Rohn used to say, “You can get what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”

If you follow these 30 tips you will—yes you will!—become more confident!

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Featured photo credit: 7908265452 via Photopin

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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