Advertising
Advertising

30 Tips To Become More Confident Nobody Told You Before

30 Tips To Become More Confident Nobody Told You Before

Confidence is belief. It is the ability to rely on something or someone. Self-confidence is your ability to rely on yourself – to rest in the assurance that when it comes right down to it, win or lose, you can count on you. You just need to be more confident than the other person.

If you lack self-confidence, it may feel like a lost cause. But confidence is not an intrinsic quality. Confidence can be learned. Read on to see how.

Advertising

30 confidence-building habits you can incorporate into your daily life to allow you to become more confident:

  1. Be clear. Unless you’re The Riddler, it’s time to put away babbling. Be clear. Be direct. Speak without ambiguity.
  2. Speak more slowly. People who talk fast often lack confidence in what they are saying and are usually saying too much.
  3. Make eye contact. In Western culture, the easiest way to truly connect with someone is to give them the respect of looking them in the eyes.
  4. Say hello. Make it a habit to offer a greeting when you pass people on the street, especially if your eyes meet for a moment as you walk by.
  5. Stand up straight. A study by Richard Petty, of Ohio State University, and Pablo Brinol, of the Universidad Automonma de Madrid, found people who sat up straight had more positive thoughts about their own abilities.
  6. Take up more space. Executive coach and author Olivia Fox Cabane talks about the importance of power poses in her book, The Charisma Myth. Power poses take up more space and make you feel more dominant.
  7. Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Conduct a social experiment where you test out your confidence. Focus on exuding dominance. Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Do not veer when another person heads in your direction. See if you can get that person to move off the sidewalk just by the way you carry yourself.
  8. Smile more. Smiling makes you feel good and it puts the people around you at ease.
  9. Giggle less. Laughing at inappropriate times is a sign of insecurity. Now that you are aware, you can slowly begin to break the habit.
  10. Do what you’re good at. Find your strengths and focus your attention on building your strengths, rather than hiding or building your weaknesses.
  11. Listen to compliments. When someone compliments you, graciously accept it. If you find multiple people compliment you on the same thing, internalize it. It may be true.
  12. Exercise. Regular exercise improves your self-confidence, self-awareness and overall health.
  13. Do something that scares you. It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “Every day do something that scares you.” The more fears you conquer, the fewer fears you will have, and the more confident you will become.
  14. Do the worst thing on the list first. As a matter of habit, prioritize every task by doing the most important things on your To Do list first.
  15. Start and finish something challenging. It’s difficult to start something new and it takes effort to see it through. Start and finish something that challenges you. Conquering challenges always boosts confidence.
  16. Create goals that are difficult to reach. We are happiest when we set and strive to attain goals that require some effort on our part. Goal-setting is a great confidence-building habit.
  17. Stop hiding. Be transparent. Show people who you really are and be proud.
  18. Display your hidden talents. Put on display the talents you have that may be judged most harshly or that make you feel insecure. Get it out in the open.
  19. Write things down. Organize your thoughts and time by writing down important information.
  20. Use “I am.” Quite possibly the two most powerful words in the English language, “I am” are your life-sculpting words and it takes courage to say out loud what is really in your heart.
  21. Speak well of yourself. If you say something often enough, you will begin to believe it. Your words are containers for power. The most important opinion in the world is the one you have of yourself.
  22. Get good at something. Master something you always wanted to learn. Get really good at it and do it often.
  23. Learn to tell one great joke really, really well. We can’t all be Jimmy Fallon, but we can all get good at telling one joke. Get the words, the voices and the timing down until it’s flawless. Then take the opportunity to entertain people with that joke once in a while.
  24. Become an active listener. We live in a culture where the ability to multi-task is a desirable trait, but you can’t listen and do something else. It’s one or the other. Learn to listen to people. Give them your full, undivided attention. It will make you a much better conversationalist.
  25. Dress well. Image is important. When you look good, you feel good, and with both of those you become more confident.
  26. Put away the measuring stick. Break the habit of comparing yourself to other people. It is counter-productive.
  27. Celebrate little victories. Resist the temptation to say, “It was nothing.” Every victory counts. Every single one. Celebrate them.
  28. Believe in yourself. Make it a point that whenever you begin to doubt your ability, you stop the “stinkin’ thinkin’” and replace doubt with belief.
  29. Mind your own business. Focus on self-development and doing your best. That’s all you can do and it’s all anyone can require of you.
  30. Help out. There’s nothing like helping someone reach their goals. The late Jim Rohn used to say, “You can get what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”

If you follow these 30 tips you will—yes you will!—become more confident!

Advertising

Featured photo credit: 7908265452 via Photopin

Advertising

Advertising

More by this author

10 Common Mistakes You Make When Setting Deadlines 30 Tips To Become More Confident Nobody Told You Before Peak Your Performance in 6 Easy Steps

Trending in Communication

1 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 2 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 3 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 4 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next