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30 Heart-Melting Love Gestures Every Woman Loves

30 Heart-Melting Love Gestures Every Woman Loves

Every woman is special and should be treated as such, especially from a man who truly loves her. In any relationship, the borderlines between his life, her life, and your life combined is thin, but that’s no excuse for eliminating good manners, sweet gestures, and meaningful actions in your love life.

Despite the stigma, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s alive and well if you decide to practice it, and it’ll mean the world to her that you did. Below is a list of 30 heartmelting gestures that will leave any man thinking more about ways to please her, and less time thinking about his embarrassing fantasy football loss last week.

1. Early in the relationship, or in pre-“mutually exclusive” stages, walk her to the car when the date is over (if she doesn’t stay the night). Who knows, it may even end in an unexpected goodnight kiss. (Bonus: text or call her to make sure she get’s home safely.)

Goodnight Kisses

    2. Texting every 5 minutes can be exhausting, but a call is more personal, easier to communicate, and can be sexy if your charisma carries well over the phone. It’s also far more courageous to ask a woman on a date with your voice and raw emotion, instead of your well thought out words via text.

    Charlie

      3. In the early stages of dating, avoid racial, homophobic, or any other slurs altogether. If this is a part of your personality that will surface later in the relationship when you’re “comfortable,” it might an opportune time to reflect on this poor choice in speech.

      Allan

        4. If you wear a casual ball cap, snapback, or fedora to a date or outing with your lover, remove the hat when you enter ANY room indoors. Sure, hat hair sucks, and rarely does someone look fly rocking it. Acting in this way, however, distinguishes you as a man of class and self confidence.

        Hat Hair

          5. When attending a fancy restaurant and she wants to look glamorous for you, kindly offer to drop her off at the front door to save her ankles. Dudes: just look at those deathtraps known as high heels? Would you want to walk 6 blocks on wet concrete after it just rained?

          Heels

            6. It’s always good practice, and good karma if that’s your thing, to treat the waiter or waitress with respect. Let her order first, offer to pay at the end (don’t insist on it too strongly), and always remember to tip onto others as you’d like to be tipped.

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            Counting Money

              7. After a meal is paid for, kindly excuse yourself from the table to go call a taxi or pull the car around up front. (Bonus: get her door.)

              Sexy Look

                8. In a social party scene with a lot of people, make it a point to introduce her first and foremost to your friends, colleagues, or business associates. Not only should you be extremely proud of this feminine fox you have on your arm, but it will also make her feel like a perfectly cut diamond.

                Hiiiiiii

                  9. Hold the door for her especially, but also for strangers. Selfless generosity is an underutilized turn on that’s super simple and effortless.

                  Holding the Door

                    10. Give uncommon, unique gifts spontaneously. Why wait for her birthday, Christmas, or Valentines day when the pressure is on? Gifts on these Hallmark holidays are expected, but the one’s that were strangely awesome and a complete surprise she’ll remember forever. (Bonus: hand make the gift.)

                    Trash

                      11. Speaking of birthdays, those are important. The significance of growing another year older, however, lessens with each passing celebration. This gives you dudes room for extreme creativity. Standard birthday partys are cool and large dinner reservations are touching, but I challenge all guys reading to think of something more. A surprise birthday party, a weekend getaway, or something of that nature. (Warning: know her likes before attempting. If she’s a social butterfly and you’d rather be alone, don’t surprise her with a 4 day backpacking trip that will remove her from friends, family, and cell reception on her special day.)

                      Surprise

                        12. Speaking of which, the digital age has made us so lazy. The convenience of texting and instant messaging makes over protection a real problem. Want a non-creepy, anti-aggressive way to remind her of your love without texting 75 times a day when you live in the same 750 square feet? Write her a love note. It can be as elaborate as the 5 pagers you used to pass Janice Hawlstruck between 2nd and 3rd period in 6th grade, or as simple as a sticky note in her lunch box. (Bonus: pack her a lunch, leave a note on the bag itself.)

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                        I love you

                          13. I want to use a whole number to drive home the point that if you text mushy, over the top lovey-dovey stuff every 5 minutes of the day when you’re separated, the “I love you’s” exchanged when you’re face to face will slowly become less and less meaningful. Don’t believe me? Try it.

                          That Look

                            14. Anything involving a puppy or kitten. (Bonus: both.)

                            Puppy and Kitten

                              15. Either late Friday night, or early Saturday morning, pack the car with camping essentials, wake her up, blindfold her, and tell her to leave her phone behind. (Bonus: have lunches/dinner packed with her favorite food items.) (Double Bonus: get a hotel unless you know for sure she’s into sleeping on the ground.)

                              Blindfold

                                16. Make casual, but intentional, flirty eye movements from across the room. In other words, this is pretty much the only scenario where winking isn’t grounds for a restraining order.

                                Wink

                                  17. If I were forced to give precedence to one of these, it’d be this: empower her. Encourage her dreams, help her attack her fears head on, and rely on each  other to grow stronger both as individuals and as a team. Ask her tough questions, and challenge her to be better every single day. I promise that this will result in mutual benefit and growth.

                                  Girl Power

                                    18. Take chances for her. Shake that booty even if you look like an idiot white boy. Cook even if you manage to burn water. Try crafts or draw a picture even though your kindergarden cousin can make a better construction paper collage than you. Your courage is sexy, and your willingness to try new things will go a long way with her. (Bonus: do things she already enjoys that are new to you.)

                                    White Dancing

                                      19. Respect the “Venn Diagram” of your relationship by offering up the house or apartment for the night so she can kick it and gossip with her girls. Why not use this as an opportunity to hit up an old friend from college, or go grab a long-waited beer with the guys?

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                                      Gossip Girl

                                        20. Befriend her parents as much as possible, and show them your true self as frequently as you can. This is a difficult dynamic for some, but even if the relationship with her and her family, or you and her family is rocky, the fact that you’re trying to be the bigger guy will go a really long way in her eyes. (Bonus: once a relationship is established, offer to do something spontaneous and nice for her parents or family without her prior knowledge.)

                                        Be Cool

                                          21. Psychological test have proven that saying someone’s name casually in conversation is a surefire way to increase the bond between those people. In fact, Dale Carnegie brilliantly states, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Trust me gentlemen, she loves hearing it, too.

                                          Say My Name

                                            22. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, underestimate the power of tea or coffee in bed. (Bonus: utilize these three S’s: Saturdays, Sundays, and sick days.)

                                            Coffee

                                              23. Keep the private “photo messages” you share between you two exclusively. It’s disrespectful to her and makes you look immature when you share this private information with your homies as a joke or to show off.

                                              Zip It

                                                24. Make “deep belly laugh” a monthly priority at the least. I’m talking tears streaming down your face, stomach is sore from laughing so hard kind of laugh. Obviously you can’t plan these things, but put yourself in as many prime opportunities as you can to make it happen.

                                                Laughter

                                                  25. Surprise her by stopping one petty argument with a kiss. (Warning: one time use is encouraged. The cuteness rating of this moves plummets, sometimes disappearing completely, after the first time played.)

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                                                  Louie Kiss

                                                    26. Focus on her eyes, even if your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty. (Bonus: minimal glances at her chest when you’re outside of the bedroom.)

                                                    Betty

                                                      27. Get creative with pet names and compliments, and do your best to not recycle them. Just like overly-lovely text messages, a name like “babe” or “beautiful” loses it’s luster after the hundredth time. Get creative, dudes. (Tip: when complimenting, be uber specific.)

                                                      Sass

                                                        28. When walking her home after a nice date (no matter the time of day) always walk on the outside of the sidewalk, or closer to passing traffic. This will shield her from any unfortunate event, such as a terrible driver or a semi-truck showering you in drainage water. (Bonus: if you have an umbrella, use it. Let her stay under the larger portion so she says dry.)

                                                        Kangaroo

                                                          29. Offer her your coat. Nobody does that any more.

                                                          RIP

                                                            30. Stand up for her even if you both know she’s wrong. (Bonus: keep your cool when the situation get’s hectic.)

                                                            Ron Burgendy

                                                              There you have it, gentlemen. 30 tips that take very little effort, but go a very long way with her. I’m curious to hear if I missed anything. Ladies? Gents?

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                                                              Published on April 7, 2021

                                                              6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                                                              6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                                                              Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

                                                              While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

                                                              1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

                                                              Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

                                                              If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

                                                              In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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                                                              2. They Make Everything Transactional

                                                              Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

                                                              For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

                                                              Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

                                                              A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

                                                              Some statements to be wary of include:

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                                                              • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
                                                              • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
                                                              • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
                                                              • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

                                                              3. They Criticize Everything

                                                              One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

                                                              However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

                                                              Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

                                                              • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
                                                              • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
                                                              • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
                                                              • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

                                                              4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

                                                              We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

                                                              For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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                                                              This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

                                                              5. They Socially Isolate You

                                                              Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

                                                              Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

                                                              This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

                                                              In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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                                                              6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

                                                              It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

                                                              Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

                                                              Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

                                                              • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
                                                              • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
                                                              • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
                                                              • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

                                                              Final Thoughts

                                                              It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

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                                                              Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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