Advertising

23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

Advertising
23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

Do you feel like your life is so damn hard? Everyone has a common goal in life: to live a simple, happy life. However, for most people life is tough. Surprisingly, the biggest factor that makes our lives tough is ourselves. We put limitations on ourselves every day, whether we realize it or not. It is very important to stop making things complicated and tougher than it really is. Remember, life can either be something that you embrace or something you hide from. Life would be so much easier if we just let go of certain things. Here are 23 things that you need to let go of to make your life easier:

1. Let go of worrying about everyone else’s opinions of you.

None of their opinions about you matter, the only one that matter is your own belief. You are in control of your own life.

2. Let go of all your empty complaints.

Complaints do not solve your problems. So, stop complaining about your situation and start taking action to improve your life.

3. Let go of anger or resentment.

Learn how to forgive people that have wronged you. Keeping the anger will only harm you.

4. Let go of lazy attitudes and routines.

Laziness is one of the worst hitngs in this world. Do not let laziness stop you from reaching your dreams. Start creating routines that will improve your life.

Advertising

5. Let go of the excuses.

Nothing is impossible. For every problem that you have, there are other people who experience similar problems. And if they are able to conquer it, so can you.

6. Let go of the idea of perfection.

Nothing in this world is perfect. Actually, by trying to achieve perfection, usually you will end up frustrated and it becomes even harder to reach your goal.

7. Let go of thinking you should always get what you want.

Most of the time, what you want is not exactly what you need. Believe that everything happens for a reason, and be a positive-thinker.

8. Let go of the notion that life is fair.

Life should not be fair. If life was fair there would be no winners and no losers. Life needs to be not fair so that we can prosper. If you think about it, it is a good thing that life is not fair.

9. Let go of insecurity.

Being insecure will only make your life tougher. Learn to let go of insecurity, radiate confidence, and give positive vibes to the people around you.

Advertising

10. Let go of thinking there is a perfect time.

There’s a saying that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago and the next best time is today. So do not wait for a “perfect time” to do what you have always wanted to do.

11. Let go of the need to always feel comfortable.

You grow the most when you are leaving your comfort zone, so actually you should feel good that you are feeling uncomfortable, because that’s exactly what you need to grow as a person.

12. Let go of thinking you have to know everything first.

Do not burden yourself by thinking that you need to know everything before you even started it. Most of the times, the experts are people who started with little knowledge, and they gained the expertise along their journey.

13. Let go of expectations.

Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. Do not expect a certain result from any given situation. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.

14. Let go of your past mistakes.

Whatever happened in the past has already happened. Dwelling about it will change nothing, so you might as well move on and make sure you don’t make the same mistake in the future.

Advertising

15. Let go of excessive worrying.

Worrying does nothing good to you. Stop worrying and start living, because people who worry too much will end up doing nothing.

16. Let go of wanting stuff you don’t need.

Sometimes, it is better to own less things. It results in less clutter, and it enables you to be more focused on things that really matter.

17. Let go of negative influences.

You are the average of five people you spend most time with, so surround yourself with positive people. Do not let negative people bring you down.

18. Let go of ugly words.

Keep your mouth cool even though you are angry. Most people will regret hurtful things that they said when they were angry.

19. Let go of your superficial judgments.

You have no idea what is going on in another person’s live, so who are you to pass judgement on the way they act?

Advertising

20. Let go of trying to change others.

Most of the time, it is impossible to try to change others. Do your best, but if they don’t change, you need to either just accept who they are or choose to live without them.

21. Let go of one-sided relationships.

There’s a million other people out there. You simply deserve better.

22. Let go of hating your own body.

It’s not wrong to dream of a better body, but don’t let yourself hate your current looks. Hating your current looks only result in frustration, and you don’t want that. Instead, you want to be calm and composed: stop relying on willpower, learn the right information, and develop systems.

23. Let go of the attachment to money.

Money is definitely good to have, but once our basic needs and saving goals are met, it’s time to evaluate the trade off of earning more and more. Do not let yourself sacrifice health and relationships in exchange for money.

Letting go of something that has been developed as a habit is hard. When you trust a broken set of habits everyday, it’s only a matter of time before you feel broken too. Hence, it is useful to understand the science behind how a habit is created in order to change your own habit. So, what will you let go of today? Let me know in the comment sections below.

Advertising

More by this author

10 Clear Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think Use This Little Known Tool to Lose Weight Starting Now Steve Jobs’s 10 Principles to Success That Everyone Needs To Learn Seven Things That Mark Cuban Said That Made Me Work Harder Than Ever 10 Common Mistakes Every Parent Has Made At Least Once

Trending in Communication

1 How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Keys to Happiness 2 10 Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship (And What To Do About It) 3 I Want To Be Happy: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Find Happiness 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 10 Morning Habits Of Happy People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

Advertising
How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

Advertising

  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

Advertising

Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

Advertising

However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

Advertising

Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

Advertising

  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

Read Next