Advertising
Advertising

23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

Do you feel like your life is so damn hard? Everyone has a common goal in life: to live a simple, happy life. However, for most people life is tough. Surprisingly, the biggest factor that makes our lives tough is ourselves. We put limitations on ourselves every day, whether we realize it or not. It is very important to stop making things complicated and tougher than it really is. Remember, life can either be something that you embrace or something you hide from. Life would be so much easier if we just let go of certain things. Here are 23 things that you need to let go of to make your life easier:

1. Let go of worrying about everyone else’s opinions of you.

None of their opinions about you matter, the only one that matter is your own belief. You are in control of your own life.

2. Let go of all your empty complaints.

Complaints do not solve your problems. So, stop complaining about your situation and start taking action to improve your life.

3. Let go of anger or resentment.

Learn how to forgive people that have wronged you. Keeping the anger will only harm you.

4. Let go of lazy attitudes and routines.

Laziness is one of the worst hitngs in this world. Do not let laziness stop you from reaching your dreams. Start creating routines that will improve your life.

Advertising

5. Let go of the excuses.

Nothing is impossible. For every problem that you have, there are other people who experience similar problems. And if they are able to conquer it, so can you.

6. Let go of the idea of perfection.

Nothing in this world is perfect. Actually, by trying to achieve perfection, usually you will end up frustrated and it becomes even harder to reach your goal.

7. Let go of thinking you should always get what you want.

Most of the time, what you want is not exactly what you need. Believe that everything happens for a reason, and be a positive-thinker.

8. Let go of the notion that life is fair.

Life should not be fair. If life was fair there would be no winners and no losers. Life needs to be not fair so that we can prosper. If you think about it, it is a good thing that life is not fair.

9. Let go of insecurity.

Being insecure will only make your life tougher. Learn to let go of insecurity, radiate confidence, and give positive vibes to the people around you.

Advertising

10. Let go of thinking there is a perfect time.

There’s a saying that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago and the next best time is today. So do not wait for a “perfect time” to do what you have always wanted to do.

11. Let go of the need to always feel comfortable.

You grow the most when you are leaving your comfort zone, so actually you should feel good that you are feeling uncomfortable, because that’s exactly what you need to grow as a person.

12. Let go of thinking you have to know everything first.

Do not burden yourself by thinking that you need to know everything before you even started it. Most of the times, the experts are people who started with little knowledge, and they gained the expertise along their journey.

13. Let go of expectations.

Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. Do not expect a certain result from any given situation. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.

14. Let go of your past mistakes.

Whatever happened in the past has already happened. Dwelling about it will change nothing, so you might as well move on and make sure you don’t make the same mistake in the future.

Advertising

15. Let go of excessive worrying.

Worrying does nothing good to you. Stop worrying and start living, because people who worry too much will end up doing nothing.

16. Let go of wanting stuff you don’t need.

Sometimes, it is better to own less things. It results in less clutter, and it enables you to be more focused on things that really matter.

17. Let go of negative influences.

You are the average of five people you spend most time with, so surround yourself with positive people. Do not let negative people bring you down.

18. Let go of ugly words.

Keep your mouth cool even though you are angry. Most people will regret hurtful things that they said when they were angry.

19. Let go of your superficial judgments.

You have no idea what is going on in another person’s live, so who are you to pass judgement on the way they act?

Advertising

20. Let go of trying to change others.

Most of the time, it is impossible to try to change others. Do your best, but if they don’t change, you need to either just accept who they are or choose to live without them.

21. Let go of one-sided relationships.

There’s a million other people out there. You simply deserve better.

22. Let go of hating your own body.

It’s not wrong to dream of a better body, but don’t let yourself hate your current looks. Hating your current looks only result in frustration, and you don’t want that. Instead, you want to be calm and composed: stop relying on willpower, learn the right information, and develop systems.

23. Let go of the attachment to money.

Money is definitely good to have, but once our basic needs and saving goals are met, it’s time to evaluate the trade off of earning more and more. Do not let yourself sacrifice health and relationships in exchange for money.

Letting go of something that has been developed as a habit is hard. When you trust a broken set of habits everyday, it’s only a matter of time before you feel broken too. Hence, it is useful to understand the science behind how a habit is created in order to change your own habit. So, what will you let go of today? Let me know in the comment sections below.

More by this author

10 Clear Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think Use This Little Known Tool to Lose Weight Starting Now Steve Jobs’s 10 Principles to Success That Everyone Needs To Learn Seven Things That Mark Cuban Said That Made Me Work Harder Than Ever 10 Common Mistakes Every Parent Has Made At Least Once

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 2 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake 3 7 Science-Backed Books About Spirituality That Will Change Your Life 4 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

Advertising

1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

Advertising

3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

Advertising

It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

Advertising

Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next