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23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

23 Things You Haven’t Let Go Of That Make Your Life Tougher

Do you feel like your life is so damn hard? Everyone has a common goal in life: to live a simple, happy life. However, for most people life is tough. Surprisingly, the biggest factor that makes our lives tough is ourselves. We put limitations on ourselves every day, whether we realize it or not. It is very important to stop making things complicated and tougher than it really is. Remember, life can either be something that you embrace or something you hide from. Life would be so much easier if we just let go of certain things. Here are 23 things that you need to let go of to make your life easier:

1. Let go of worrying about everyone else’s opinions of you.

None of their opinions about you matter, the only one that matter is your own belief. You are in control of your own life.

2. Let go of all your empty complaints.

Complaints do not solve your problems. So, stop complaining about your situation and start taking action to improve your life.

3. Let go of anger or resentment.

Learn how to forgive people that have wronged you. Keeping the anger will only harm you.

4. Let go of lazy attitudes and routines.

Laziness is one of the worst hitngs in this world. Do not let laziness stop you from reaching your dreams. Start creating routines that will improve your life.

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5. Let go of the excuses.

Nothing is impossible. For every problem that you have, there are other people who experience similar problems. And if they are able to conquer it, so can you.

6. Let go of the idea of perfection.

Nothing in this world is perfect. Actually, by trying to achieve perfection, usually you will end up frustrated and it becomes even harder to reach your goal.

7. Let go of thinking you should always get what you want.

Most of the time, what you want is not exactly what you need. Believe that everything happens for a reason, and be a positive-thinker.

8. Let go of the notion that life is fair.

Life should not be fair. If life was fair there would be no winners and no losers. Life needs to be not fair so that we can prosper. If you think about it, it is a good thing that life is not fair.

9. Let go of insecurity.

Being insecure will only make your life tougher. Learn to let go of insecurity, radiate confidence, and give positive vibes to the people around you.

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10. Let go of thinking there is a perfect time.

There’s a saying that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago and the next best time is today. So do not wait for a “perfect time” to do what you have always wanted to do.

11. Let go of the need to always feel comfortable.

You grow the most when you are leaving your comfort zone, so actually you should feel good that you are feeling uncomfortable, because that’s exactly what you need to grow as a person.

12. Let go of thinking you have to know everything first.

Do not burden yourself by thinking that you need to know everything before you even started it. Most of the times, the experts are people who started with little knowledge, and they gained the expertise along their journey.

13. Let go of expectations.

Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. Do not expect a certain result from any given situation. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.

14. Let go of your past mistakes.

Whatever happened in the past has already happened. Dwelling about it will change nothing, so you might as well move on and make sure you don’t make the same mistake in the future.

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15. Let go of excessive worrying.

Worrying does nothing good to you. Stop worrying and start living, because people who worry too much will end up doing nothing.

16. Let go of wanting stuff you don’t need.

Sometimes, it is better to own less things. It results in less clutter, and it enables you to be more focused on things that really matter.

17. Let go of negative influences.

You are the average of five people you spend most time with, so surround yourself with positive people. Do not let negative people bring you down.

18. Let go of ugly words.

Keep your mouth cool even though you are angry. Most people will regret hurtful things that they said when they were angry.

19. Let go of your superficial judgments.

You have no idea what is going on in another person’s live, so who are you to pass judgement on the way they act?

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20. Let go of trying to change others.

Most of the time, it is impossible to try to change others. Do your best, but if they don’t change, you need to either just accept who they are or choose to live without them.

21. Let go of one-sided relationships.

There’s a million other people out there. You simply deserve better.

22. Let go of hating your own body.

It’s not wrong to dream of a better body, but don’t let yourself hate your current looks. Hating your current looks only result in frustration, and you don’t want that. Instead, you want to be calm and composed: stop relying on willpower, learn the right information, and develop systems.

23. Let go of the attachment to money.

Money is definitely good to have, but once our basic needs and saving goals are met, it’s time to evaluate the trade off of earning more and more. Do not let yourself sacrifice health and relationships in exchange for money.

Letting go of something that has been developed as a habit is hard. When you trust a broken set of habits everyday, it’s only a matter of time before you feel broken too. Hence, it is useful to understand the science behind how a habit is created in order to change your own habit. So, what will you let go of today? Let me know in the comment sections below.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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