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20 Wise Tips Every Wedded Couple Needs to Know to Never Lose the Sparkle

20 Wise Tips Every Wedded Couple Needs to Know to Never Lose the Sparkle

Don’t listen to people who tell you the passion of your relationship will fade over time. It doesn’t have to! You can keep your marriage exciting and special if you follow these wise tips every wedded couple needs to know to never lose the sparkle of romance.

1. Never stop dating.

Who says you have to stop going on dates once you’re married? Don’t let yourself get bogged down in the daily grind. Make time every month to go out to dinner, to the movies, or simply to do something fun outside the house. Make time for each other, to be alone, and to have fun and spend time with just the two of you.

2. Protect your own heart.

Don’t let your partner trample your heart. They might not mean to, but sometimes your spouse may say or do something that hurts your feelings. Take a step back and see that they’re not trying to hurt you, it just happened that way. Don’t get oversensitive about it; protect yourself and talk to them about what happened and how it made you feel.

3. Always see the best in each other.

This is one of the easiest things to do when you’re dating. You think your partner is the best because of this, that, and the other. But once you’re married, you have a commitment hanging over your head, so you tend to judge a little harsher. Try not to do this. Remember who you fell in love with and why, and don’t let any small, annoying habits outweigh the good you know is there.

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4. It’s not your job to fix the other.

You can’t change anyone. They have to want to change, and even then, you shouldn’t expect it to happen. You fell in love with your spouse for a reason. You can’t change them just because you’re married now. Remember the good in them, and trust that if it’s a major issue, they’ll take your concerns into consideration and change themselves.

5. Take full accountability for your emotions.

Fights get emotional, it’s a fact. But if you say something in anger or to hurt your spouse, then take responsibility for it. Don’t let the fight get swept under the rug with those hurtful emotions still hanging there in the balance. Explain why you said what you did, and apologize for it.

6. Give each other space.

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to spend all your free time together! Give each other space and time to do things you each enjoy. You’ll have more to talk about when you come back together, and you’ll feel more relaxed because you’re not having to give up your own hobbies for the sake of your spouse!

7. Be willing to share your feelings.

Don’t keep your feelings to yourself, they’ll never get resolved. Make sure your partner knows how you feel about certain issues, and why. You have to be willing and able to talk about everything, or else there will be a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

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8. Never stop growing together.

Your partner is going to change over the years; you are too! You have to grow together, though, or else you’ll grow apart. You need to talk about what you want in your relationship, for your family, and for your own lives and careers to ensure you can grow together and stay together.

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    9. Fight fair.

    Emotions are high when you’re fighting, but don’t start pulling punches you’re going to regret. Never throw something in your spouse’s face that was told to you in confidence. Don’t dig up old secrets just to use as ammunition against them. Fight fair and fight only about the topic at hand, otherwise you’re going to have too much on your plate to deal with, and the fight will never end.

    10. Forgive immediately.

    Even if you don’t really feel it inside, forgive your spouse. Holding a grudge will only make you feel worse, and holding something over your spouse’s head will make them feel like things will never be the same, and you’ll never forget this problem. It doesn’t hurt to forgive immediately—in fact, it can make you feel like you’re really ready to forgive, and that’s just a bonus!

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    11. Let go of past hurt.

    Don’t bring up old hurts and past fights in a current disagreement. You can’t hold grudges about every little thing your partner has done to hurt you—the relationship won’t survive. Once the fight has been fought, forgive, learn your lesson, and forget as best you can.

    12. Learn how to compromise.

    No one can win every fight. And you shouldn’t want to. Compromising is an adult way to solve a problem and allow both partners to win. You have to give a little to get a little!

    13. Respect each other.

    Don’t call each other names. Don’t take jabs at each other’s careers or style or favorite bands. Respect each other fully—and this includes when your spouse isn’t around and you’re gossiping with friends. Think of how you want your spouse to treat you, and do the same for them.

    14. Don’t compare your spouse or relationship.

    Your friend’s husband is not more romantic than yours, and their relationship is not sweeter! Your spouse is perfect for you—that’s why you got married! And your relationship is perfect for the both of you, or at least it’s what you’re working on together. Once you start comparing yourself to others around you, things will unravel. Remember: the grass is always greener on the other side. You might think someone has it better than you, but everyone has their own problems.

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    15. Be patient.

    Don’t expect everything to happen now. You’re married, and you have your whole lives together. That gives you plenty of time to grow together and make the perfect life together. Rushing things could only mean problems down the line.

    16. Don’t expect the other to read your mind.

    You have to talk to your partner. They may not understand why you act a certain way, but if you sit them down and talk about it, they might start to understand. If nothing else, they’ll respect you for talking about it instead of just making them guess.

    17. Talk about your goals.

    The only way to grow together is to talk about your goals together. What do you want for the future? Are you on the same track? You want to make sure you have the same goals in mind for your family, and you want to make sure that one of you isn’t planning a huge career move that would leave the other in the dust! Stay on the same page and talk about your goals often—you can be each other’s cheerleader!

    18. Listen.

    Don’t just talk—listen. It’s important to make sure your partner feels like you’ll hear them out, and not just talk over them. Everyone wants to be understood, and if you quiet down and listen to your spouse, then they’ll give you that same respect.

    19. Have fun together.

    Don’t let marriage seem too daunting! It’s a commitment, yes, but don’t let it seem too “life or death.” You got married because you love each other and you have fun together—don’t lose that! Have fun when you go on dates together, have fun cleaning the floors together, have fun washing dishes! Just have fun together.

    20. Keep your sense of humor.

    It’s important to always be able to get silly with each other. Being too serious will start to seem suffocating after a while. If you can joke with each other, then you’ll always be able to lighten the mood and diffuse any tension in the relationship.

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    Last Updated on July 13, 2020

    9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

    9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

    It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

    However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

    “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

    When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

    Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

    In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

    1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

    This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

    A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

    • “Why did this happen to me?”
    • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

    But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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    • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
    • “What can I learn from this situation?”
    • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

    2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

    The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

    Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

    So choose to:

    • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
    • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

    3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

    A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

    I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

    1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
    2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
    3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

    Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

    4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

    Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

    I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

    If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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    So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

    5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

    The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

    So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

    A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

    This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

    6. Focus on Solutions

    A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

    If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

    What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

    Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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    What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

    The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

    7. Reduce Your Worries

    The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

    Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

    1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
    2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

    8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

    A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

    Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

    But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

    So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

    This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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    9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

    I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

    That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

    This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

    I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

    But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

    Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

    Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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    Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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