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20 Things You Should Stop Doing Now to Make Your Life At 50 Amazing

20 Things You Should Stop Doing Now to Make Your Life At 50 Amazing

Have you pictured and do you have a clear vision of how you want your 50s to be like? Here are some things you should stop doing that will make your 50s amazing.

1. Stop staring at the hole rather than the doughnut

For your 50s to be amazing you should start looking at it with hope. Be optimistic and positive about the future.

2. Stop procrastinating

You do not get much done from waiting for the perfect time. Procrastination is a thief of time. You need to start taking action.

3. Stop taking your health for granted

You need to take care of your body. Build an active lifestyle now. According to Warren Buffet who started building his wealth early, your body is your vehicle to your ripe and mature age of 50.

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4. Stop spending more than you earn

You really do not want to grow old without having money in the bank or something to fall back on. Try and save or invest and see that you’re the little money you can put outside grows. This secret is popular amongst the rich and the famous.

5. Stop making excuses

You want to have kids, build a house, write a book or see the world. Don’t make any excuses about it. Follow your dreams and focus on how you can make these things real!

6. Stop being in the wrong relationships

You are an average of your five closest friends. You do not need to be in a toxic relationship. Rather be in relationships that build you up and make you become better. Always filter your relationships.

7. Stop picking things over experiences

There is the allure of having luxurious possessions and buying gadgets. But if you want to be happier and cherish some memorable moments you should invest in experiences.

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8. Stop beating yourself up

Yes you are going to make mistakes and many of the things you thought were right might have turned out wrong. We are all caught in our folly sometimes, but there is no sense in beating yourself about it.

9. Stop trying to please everyone

Yes you may try to please some people, perhaps when it counts. Yet you should know that you can never please everyone. Rather the best person to please should be yourself.

10. Stop spending your time poorly

Time management is key to making your 50s amazing. Make your time count. Read books, travel and learn. You should not be consumed in the wrong activities or that does not take you in the direction your life must go.

11. Stop being un-thankful

We should all be thankful for something. Even the small things that have been offered to you should be enough to spur you into being grateful.

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12. Stop comparing yourself to others

We all have different genes and are meant to live different lives. What applies to X doesn’t apply to Y. Try living your life rather than comparing yourself to others.

13. Stop trying to buy happiness

Happiness cannot be bought. Many things that will make you happy are free and reachable. Rather than letting the world define what happiness should mean for you, state your position clearly.

14. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

There is no need in playing the victim all the time. Rather accept responsibility for what goes wrong and move on.

15. Stop envying others

You would gain nothing from being jealous of others rather your self esteem and ego would be bruised. Understand that you are unique in a beautiful way.

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16. Stop trying to take the easy way out

Accomplishments that are worthwhile and enriching do take time and hard work. You should focus on seeing your tasks and projects to completion and fruition rather than looking for the easy way out.

17. Stop finding faults in others

As much as you can forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn to forgive others and let go of wrongs. No one is perfect and finding faults in others doesn’t help your confidence.

18. Stop running away from problems

It is always easier to turn your back and flee from things that seem to tough to handle. Yet defining happiness when you reach 50 will require you to have faced many of your problems rather than running away from them.

19. Stop leaning on others to make you happy

Your happiness should be determined by you and not by others standard of you. Try and be tough and easy on yourself as well.

20. Stop asking the wrong questions

You won’t want to be consumed in the “what ifs?” and “why me?” Ask the right questions that would solve problems like “what can I do?” “What do I need?” and you would be on your way to an amazing 50s.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.comwhat via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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