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20 Things You Should Stop Doing Now to Make Your Life At 50 Amazing

20 Things You Should Stop Doing Now to Make Your Life At 50 Amazing

Have you pictured and do you have a clear vision of how you want your 50s to be like? Here are some things you should stop doing that will make your 50s amazing.

1. Stop staring at the hole rather than the doughnut

For your 50s to be amazing you should start looking at it with hope. Be optimistic and positive about the future.

2. Stop procrastinating

You do not get much done from waiting for the perfect time. Procrastination is a thief of time. You need to start taking action.

3. Stop taking your health for granted

You need to take care of your body. Build an active lifestyle now. According to Warren Buffet who started building his wealth early, your body is your vehicle to your ripe and mature age of 50.

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4. Stop spending more than you earn

You really do not want to grow old without having money in the bank or something to fall back on. Try and save or invest and see that you’re the little money you can put outside grows. This secret is popular amongst the rich and the famous.

5. Stop making excuses

You want to have kids, build a house, write a book or see the world. Don’t make any excuses about it. Follow your dreams and focus on how you can make these things real!

6. Stop being in the wrong relationships

You are an average of your five closest friends. You do not need to be in a toxic relationship. Rather be in relationships that build you up and make you become better. Always filter your relationships.

7. Stop picking things over experiences

There is the allure of having luxurious possessions and buying gadgets. But if you want to be happier and cherish some memorable moments you should invest in experiences.

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8. Stop beating yourself up

Yes you are going to make mistakes and many of the things you thought were right might have turned out wrong. We are all caught in our folly sometimes, but there is no sense in beating yourself about it.

9. Stop trying to please everyone

Yes you may try to please some people, perhaps when it counts. Yet you should know that you can never please everyone. Rather the best person to please should be yourself.

10. Stop spending your time poorly

Time management is key to making your 50s amazing. Make your time count. Read books, travel and learn. You should not be consumed in the wrong activities or that does not take you in the direction your life must go.

11. Stop being un-thankful

We should all be thankful for something. Even the small things that have been offered to you should be enough to spur you into being grateful.

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12. Stop comparing yourself to others

We all have different genes and are meant to live different lives. What applies to X doesn’t apply to Y. Try living your life rather than comparing yourself to others.

13. Stop trying to buy happiness

Happiness cannot be bought. Many things that will make you happy are free and reachable. Rather than letting the world define what happiness should mean for you, state your position clearly.

14. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

There is no need in playing the victim all the time. Rather accept responsibility for what goes wrong and move on.

15. Stop envying others

You would gain nothing from being jealous of others rather your self esteem and ego would be bruised. Understand that you are unique in a beautiful way.

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16. Stop trying to take the easy way out

Accomplishments that are worthwhile and enriching do take time and hard work. You should focus on seeing your tasks and projects to completion and fruition rather than looking for the easy way out.

17. Stop finding faults in others

As much as you can forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn to forgive others and let go of wrongs. No one is perfect and finding faults in others doesn’t help your confidence.

18. Stop running away from problems

It is always easier to turn your back and flee from things that seem to tough to handle. Yet defining happiness when you reach 50 will require you to have faced many of your problems rather than running away from them.

19. Stop leaning on others to make you happy

Your happiness should be determined by you and not by others standard of you. Try and be tough and easy on yourself as well.

20. Stop asking the wrong questions

You won’t want to be consumed in the “what ifs?” and “why me?” Ask the right questions that would solve problems like “what can I do?” “What do I need?” and you would be on your way to an amazing 50s.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.comwhat via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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