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20 Things Every Man Should Learn to Be a Respectable Person

20 Things Every Man Should Learn to Be a Respectable Person

A respectable man is one who not only respects himself, but is respected by the world he lives in. The more you can live as a man whom others actually want to be around, the more respectable you will become. There are no fancy tricks or shortcuts to become a better man, but these 20 things remind you of how you can be a more respected individual, right now.

1. The Way You Dress

I recently read an article on the importance of male dress code and dating. The women in the article stated that it is a turn off to go out with a man who thinks dressing up is putting on a collared shirt. You don’t have to wear the latest fashion trends or expensive clothes, but look presentable, go the extra mile, show you care, and take pride in what you wear.

2. Your Physical Health

You don’t need to be a bodybuilder or marathon runner. A little exercise can go a long way and it’s important to show that you care about your body. If you don’t exercise at all, start by taking a 20-minute walk. Then perhaps join a gym, fitness class or local softball team. Good health also includes going to the doctor, dentist, and eye professional.

3. Your Diet

Like fitness, you don’t have to follow the latest trend or fad, but do your best to eat well. Mostly eat what makes your body feel good — probably more protein than carbs, coupled with fruits and vegetables. Try to eat less junk. Maybe try something new or learn how to cook a new meal. Invite your friends over and offer to cook them dinner. I love trying new ethnic foods and the diverse flavors they offer.

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4. Your Reading Habits

If all you do is play video games and watch TV at night, please pick up a book. Reading fuels your imagination. You don’t have to brag about what you read, but it can be a great way to add value in conversations. Read about topics you love — it shows you have other interests and keeps your mind active. Plus, it’s a good way to wind down at night.

5. Your Awareness of the World

Nobody likes a political snob, or a complete ignoramus. You don’t need to watch the news every night, because most of it is garbage anyway! For some, a comedy news show is all it takes to keep up with current events. It is important to have a basic knowledge of what’s happening in the world, but choose the best way to get the important stuff.

6. Your Passion and Interests

There are some people who live what I call the “extreme life,” which they often describe as “sick,” “gnarly,” or “stoked.” Life is an adventure but we don’t all need to live on the edge (or even appear to be). Simply be passionate about something and be proud of it. Learn something new that you never took the time to learn. Maybe it’s a new language or a new skill.

7. How You Treat a Woman

This ranges from opening doors for women, to speaking highly of women, to never putting women down. Also, make ladies feel special in whatever way that may be. This also means being affectionate towards your girlfriend or spouse and showing her how much you love her because, as men, we often forget to actually communicate how we feel about her. Also, tell your mom you love her!

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8. You Take Risks

I say this with caution. Don’t let your testosterone get the best of you and do more than you can handle. Take smart risks. If we never took any risks, we wouldn’t learn how to adapt to situations and accept defeat. It’s okay to fail when you take risks — look at it as a lesson, rather than detrimental to your ego.

9. You Practice Sound Money Management

A specific dollar amount of money doesn’t matter. What’s important here is actually living within your means — not flashing money around — and understanding the basics of finance. Educate yourself on money and treat it with respect. Be honest with your financial situation and find ways you can make money work for you.

10. You Mind Your Manners

Be polite and be authentic. Remember what your mom told you? Actually say thank you and chew with your mouth closed. Don’t be a bully. Don’t yell at others. Don’t be aggressive. Live the Golden Rule by treating other people the way you want to be treated. This doesn’t mean you are a pushover, but it means that you treat others with dignity and respect.

11. Your Real World Experience

In other words, practice what you preach. Get yourself out there and try new things. Are you just reading about advice or are you actually living that advice? It doesn’t matter if you don’t succeed at everything you try. The point is to experience the world and share that experience with others.

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12. You Get Out and Travel

Get out there and travel somewhere new! It can be a small road trip or can be a trip around the world. When you travel, it gets you out of your comfort zone and you learn something new, every time. Plan your travel around things that really interest you. Again, you don’t have to go extreme. There are tons of ways to travel and it’s a great way to break out of your routine. Plus, it makes for a great story!

13. You Express Gratitude

A respectable man is grateful for what he has in life. For some, spirituality or religion is the path they take. If that’s not you, simply express what you are grateful for each and every day. Try to come up with new things you are grateful for and challenge yourself to let other people know how important they are to you.

14. You Practice Volunteerism

This is a broad definition. Simply put, I define it as giving your time without expectation of anything in return. Give some of your time to help a friend in need. Offer to teach someone something for free. It’s not always about money. Do something nice for a stranger or sign up to volunteer for an event. An added bonus to is that you actually do get something in return — it gives you a sense of purpose and it makes you feel good.

15. You Are Capable of Love

This includes yourself. Be capable of loving yourself just the way you are. When you can love yourself first, you can love others more readily. Be open to expressing love to others. Give someone a hug (even if it’s a man hug). Embrace others and act from a place of love, not from a place of fear or hate.

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16. Your Humor

A respectable man can laugh at himself and laugh with others. Make people laugh, but not at somebody’s own expense. I love to crack jokes to lighten up the mood or make someone feel better about themselves. You can also redirect the humor back to yourself to break the ice in conversations. Women love when you can make them laugh and for some it comes easy, for others it takes practice.

17. You Can Negotiate

You don’t have to be a sleazy salesman or an experienced attorney. It’s important to be prepared to get what you want and to know when you are being taken advantage of. The best way to do this is to educate yourself before you need to negotiate. It’s also important to respect the other person involved. Also, think of negotiating as an important skill in any relationship. When you see the other person’s side, it makes it easier to satisfy everyone’s needs.

18. You Smile

They say that a good smile is the window to someone’s soul. Smiling is contagious and people love to see a good smile. That being said, make sure you are taking care of your teeth. The other day I saw this UV teeth whitening product that nobody needs to buy! Just take care of your mouth and go to the dentist regularly, because nobody wants bad breath.

19. Your Ego

It’s often easy for us men to feel threatened by others or have to somehow prove our manliness to the world. We can be respectable, confident men, without always having to be loud, right, and/or pushy. Actually, a bigger ego represents bigger insecurities that others can often see right through.

20. You Think Critically

Yes, it’s important to be able to problem solve. When you workout your brain to solve real-life, complex problems, it’s easier to come up with better ideas when future problems arise. Some use Lumosity and others challenge themselves to come up with new business ideas. It’s important to make your brain ‘sweat.’ Sometimes you might gain a new perspective that can add massive value to an otherwise improbable situation.

The key to these lessons is practicing them every day. There is not one method that is better than the other, but just do more of what works for you. In fact, there are many ways in which we can subtly become a more respected member of society, without acting like someone we’re not. I encourage you to practice more of what works in learning how to become a more respectable man.

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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