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20 Reasons Why You Should Date Solo Women Travelers

20 Reasons Why You Should Date Solo Women Travelers

Women who travel alone have experienced the world in completely unique ways. They develop traits that shape them into strong women. Having said that, they have a lot of characteristics that help relationships grow and flourish. Below are reasons you should date women who travel alone.

1. They are independent

It’s seems like the most obvious one, but it’s true. Women who travel alone don’t depend on anyone to get their work done. They are used to depending on themselves and when they are in relationships it’s no different. They don’t depend solely on their partners and contribute equally which makes for a good relationship.

2. They are patient

Hours of waiting around, flight connections, and misplaced baggage makes them incredibly patient. They are used to facing chaotic situations and are able to maintain their composure. When they are in relationships, this patience allows them to be calmer in the face of any issues that arise.

3. They aren’t afraid of being alone

They enjoy quiet solitude from time to time because they are used to being in empty airports at the crack of dawn. When they are in relationships, they like having time to themselves and are fine with being alone. In relationships, they don’t mind having time apart from their partners, which makes for a healthy relationship.

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4. They are good problem solvers

Because they have been faced with countless issues whilst traveling alone, they have had to deal with them alone and have developed good problem solving skills. This helps them tackle day to day issues with ease. When in relationships, they are able to prevent any arguments from starting by solving problems before they start.

5. They look at the world differently

Because they have traveled alone, they have spent a lot of time reflecting and absorbing the beauty of the world. They are able to look passed small flaws and see the bigger picture. When in relationships, this allows them to be more accepting as they understand that flaws are part of being human.

6. They are appreciative

They are used to being by themselves and so they are used to doing things for themselves. They don’t expect anything of anyone. This makes them appreciate it when their partners do simple things for them. Appreciation makes for good relationships.

7. They are comfortable with change

Women who travel alone are constantly in changing environments. They are able to adapt to changes quickly. When they are in relationships, sudden changes in circumstance don’t upset them and they are able to adapt quickly. This avoids any tension and keeps the relationship healthy.

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8. They are confident

As they travel by themselves, they have learnt to be confident. Confidence allows them to love themselves and thus love people around them. This makes for stable, healthy relationships.

9. They know themselves well

Traveling alone has given them time to grow and learn things about themselves. Women who travel alone are fully aware of who they are and what they want. Because they know themselves, they are able to be settled when they are in relationships and form healthy bonds.

10. They are open-minded

They have seen different parts of the world and thus have been exposed to different cultures. This makes them open to different ideas. This helps in relationships as they are able to understand their partners point of view better.

11. They can protect themselves

They have had to take care of themselves because of all the solo travel and therefore are fully capable of protecting themselves. This gives them strength within themselves. When they are in relationships, this helps them feel independent, which makes for happier relationships.

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12. They can manage their money well

Traveling alone forces you to organize your money well. Women who travel alone develop this skill. Therefore in relationships they experience less tension when it comes to money.

13. They are good planners

Women who travel alone have learnt to manage their time well and plan ahead. This enables them to be good planners, which helps ease any tension that arises in relationships.

14. They are good decision makers

They have had to make decisions under pressure before and therefore they know how to successfully make good decisions. They don’t face any trouble that comes from bad decision making. This allows them to form healthy relationships with fewer arguments.

15. They see the beauty in others

They have been around so many people and have learnt to see how everyone has beauty within themselves. They see the best in people. When they are in relationships, they look for the best in their partner and focus on that making for healthier relationships.

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16. They are willing to try new things

They are open to try different things because they are more cultured due to their solo travel. They see the importance in experiencing new things. This helps keep relationships fresh and therefore healthy.

17. They are up for challenges

When things get difficult, they don’t back down. This is a skill they learnt while they travel alone as they have had to face many challenging situations that they have overcome. When they face obstacles in relationships they work at it instead of walking away.

18. They have incredible stories

Because they have experienced a lot of the world alone, they have many interesting stories to share. Therefore relationships with women who travel alone are never boring because of all their experiences they have to share.

19. They place value on things that are important

They have seen so much of the world alone and have had time to see what is really important in life. Therefore they don’t value material possessions as much as they value experiences and emotions. This helps them form healthier stronger bonds with people.

20. They have learned to love themselves

Because they have had time to reflect on themselves and learn who they are due to all the solo travel, they are truly connected with themselves. They develop a love for who they are and this allows them to love other people deeply.

Featured photo credit: Girl Pointing At Sky In Summer via stokpic.com

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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