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20 Reasons Why You Should Date Solo Women Travelers

20 Reasons Why You Should Date Solo Women Travelers

They say that travel broadens the mind, and opens a person up to different cultures and new experiences. This is certainly true, and if you are a woman traveling alone, even more so. It takes inner strength coupled with a sense of adventure to travel solo, yet it can be one of life’s most rewarding experiences.

That was definitely the case for me when I took a 6 week sabbatical last year to explore Central America on my lonesome. I spent a year traveling solo around the world in my early twenties but I was young, dumb and completely naive. Doing it again in my thirties proved to be a different experience; it was less about partying at each new destination and more of an inward journey. While at times it was daunting, it turned out to be an illuminating experience that cracked me open.

Traveling alone can be an unnerving endeavor regardless of gender, but there is something about women who choose to take themselves out of their comfort zone to face the unknown that makes them wonderfully exciting people to date. Here are 20 reasons why.

1. They value their independence.

Cue the soundtrack to Destiny’s Child ‘Independent Woman.’ The clothes she’s wearing? She bought them. That trip to Florence? She bought that too and has no qualms about enjoying it all on her lonesome. There is something incredibly sexy about a woman who pays her own bills and lives life on her own terms. Hurry up and catch her while you can as these types of ladies don’t tend to stay in one place for long.

2. They will value your space.

If you are the type of person who needs breathing room in a relationship, then dating a lady who grabs life by its horns might just be a perfect fit. These types of ladies aren’t looking for anyone to complete them; they are comfortable with themselves as individuals and therefore won’t be blowing up your phone every 30 minutes with needy text messages. They love their own space and as a result will value yours too.

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3. They have a healthy relationship with fear.

Women who routinely open themselves up to new experiences typically don’t let fear stand in their way. They are comfortable pushing themselves and don’t buy into the pathos that the world is a dangerous place. This doesn’t mean that they take unnecessary risks and place themselves in dangerous situations; it just means that they do their homework beforehand and weigh the risks versus the rewards.

4. They are spontaneous.

Looking for a lady who is happy to take off on a whim? Ladies who travel alone usually fly by the seat of their pants and are comfortable with spontaneity meaning that your relationship will never be dull. Wake up and decide to go on a road trip for the weekend? This chick will be riding shotgun right alongside you.

5. They have vast reserves of inner strength.

Traveling by yourself means that inevitably endless hours will be spent alone with only your thoughts for company. It takes a certain amount of strength of character to be comfortable with this in addition to dealing with any mishaps that might occur whilst on the road. With nothing or no one to draw on other than your own strength, women who take these kinds of challenges on have endless reserves of inner strength, which makes them wonderfully strong minded companions.

6. They know that patience is a virtue.

One of the downsides of travel is that sooner or later, you will encounter delays. Whether its flight delays, traffic jams, cancelled trains or a slow-as-molasses cab driver, one thing that travel teaches you is the art of patience. Rest assured that your date will likely be pretty comfortable with the premise that sometimes stuff happens and patience pays. So if you find yourself trapped together in traffic, know that she will take it all in her stride.

7. They have a curious mind.

People who enjoy traveling to different countries and experiencing foreign cultures typically have a curious nature. Dating a woman who likes to travel alone means that you will never be bored, especially when you try to keep up with her inquisitive nature and insatiable appetite for learning new things.

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8. They work hard but play harder.

All travel and no play makes for a very dull trip indeed. If you are looking for someone to kick back with on the beach after a day exploring new vistas then look no further than a lady traveler. Women who feel comfortable enough in their own skin to travel alone can make for great company and probably more than a few laughs (and beers) along the way.

9. They are comfortable being alone.

It probably goes without saying that those who travel alone enjoy their own company. When you take it upon yourself to travel by yourself, there will undoubtedly be endless hours spent gallivanting from Point A to Point B. Women who enjoy these types of trips tend to relish this time alone and are more than happy to while away a few hours sat at an airport lost in their own thoughts.

10. They are open minded.

Another positive aspect of dating women who do it alone is that they are open minded. In and of itself, travel expands the mind which makes it harder to hold onto outdated prejudices or ignorant beliefs. These types of women have seen a vast swath of the world through their own eyes and tend to have an easier time recognizing any similarities they share with foreign cultures rather than focusing on the differences.

11. They relish their responsible side.

Taking off solo requires a certain amount of planning and responsibility, you have to really know yourself and what you are and are not comfortable with. Dating a women like this means that she’ll have a deep understanding of herself and what risks she will and won’t be prepared to take in life.

12. They trust their intuition.

Being a female traveler means that in certain countries they could be faced with a potentially dangerous situation. Being cognizant of these risks means that they largely rely on their intuition to stay safe. They are more experienced at reading a situation intuitively which means that they tend to have astute street smarts and as a result means she probably won’t be dragging you into any types of troublesome situations.

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13. They are decisive.

Being so in touch with their intuition and sense of responsibility means that there will be no umm-ing and err-ing when it comes to decision-making. If you like a lady who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it then dating an independent woman might just be the ticket to a long lasting relationship.

14. They have a good head for money.

Any type of travel invariably incurs expenses and one of the many skills of an experienced traveler is their head for money and ability to budget accordingly. Don’t expect any princess demands from these chicks; they have a keen ability to be mindful of costs and stay within a budget, meaning it’s unlikely she’ll be taking your credit card on a shopping spree.

15. They are fun to talk to.

Spending large swathes of time alone means that these ladies are more than happy to strike up a conversation with a passing stranger. Talking to people from exotic lands is a wonderful chance to work on their conversation skills so that you can be sure you will never run out of interesting things to talk about.

16. They have a wrath of interesting stories to tell.

Traveling to far-flung locales or even traveling locally provides a plethora of interesting stories to tell. Don’t expect to be bored, these ladies are more likely to regale you with fun anecdotes about their crazy adventures rather than wanting to recap what happened last night on the Bachelor.

17. They say Yes to Life.

Women who live to travel embrace spontaneity which inevitably leads to a passionate view of life and a positive mind set. As a result they are more likely to say yes to life and open themselves up to new experiences which are wonderful characteristics for a fun filled and exciting relationship.

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18. They are constantly expanding their comfort zone.

It’s important to know that these women like to push themselves and do not like to live their lives penned in by their comfort zones. If you are the type of person who enjoys pushing themselves and trying new things, then dating a lady who gets her kicks the same way might just be a match made in heaven.

19. They are resourceful.

Inevitably there will be times during a trip when things go wrong. From a stolen passport to missing luggage, these types of situations are incredibly frustrating but useful learning experiences. Having dealt with these types of situations before means that women who enjoy traveling alone are pretty resourceful and are fairly quick to figure out a solution making them great companions both on and off the road.

20. They take each day as it comes.

Lady adventurers are very familiar with the phrase Carpe Diem. They are aware that life can pass you by in an instant and so they strive to make every day count. Their focus is primarily on staying in the moment and not choosing to dwell on the coulds, woulds and shoulds of life. Having a partner with these types of qualities means that they don’t often let life drag them down and prefer to focus on the positive, which is an infectious and fun mindset to be around.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on September 30, 2020

How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Future

How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Future

We often hear people talk about the importance of living in the present and the different ways it will benefit us. It all sounds wonderful, especially the lower levels of stress and anxiety, but how exactly can we live in the moment when our mind is constantly worrying about the past or plans for the future?

In this article, we’ll discuss some of the benefits of living in the moment you may not be aware of. Then, we’ll look at some of the obstacles and why we worry. Finally, and most importantly, I’ll show you how to live in the moment and stop worrying using some simple practices that you can easily incorporate into your busy schedule.

The result: a happier and more fulfilling life.

The Importance of Living in the Moment

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” -Buddha

While it can be difficult to live in the moment, it has innumerable benefits.

Here are just a few that will enhance your life tremendously:

Better Health

By reducing stress and anxiety, you avoid many of the associated health consequences, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. Studies have shown that being present can also improve psychological well-being[1].

Improve Your Relationships

Have you ever been with someone who is physically present, but mentally s/he’s a million miles away?

Being with unavailable people is a struggle, and building relationships with them extremely difficult.

How about being with someone who is fully present? We enjoy being with her/him because we can make a much deeper connection.

By living in the moment, you can be that person other people enjoy being with, and you make relationships much easier.

Greater Self-Control

You have greater control over your mind, body, and emotions. Imagine how much better your life would be if it weren’t at the mercy of a racing mind and unpredictable emotions. You would certainly be more at peace, and much happier[2].

Why Do We Worry?

Before we answer this question, it’s important to distinguish between worry and concern.

When we are concerned about something, we are more likely dealing with a real problem with realistic solutions. Then, once we do whatever we can to address the problem, we’re willing to live with the outcome.

Worrying, on the other hand, involves unrealistic thinking. We may worry about a problem that doesn’t really exist, or dwell on all the bad things that can happen as a result. Then, we feel unable to deal with the outcome. Either way, we have difficulty dealing with uncertainty, which is a normal part of life.

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Certainly, some of our problems may not have desirable outcomes, such as a serious health issue. Some problems may be beyond our control, such as civil unrest or economic downturn. In such cases, it can be hard to avoid worrying, but not impossible.

3 Steps to Start to Live in the Moment

Step 1: Overcome Worrying

In order to overcome worrying, we need to do two things:

Calm Your Mind

When you calm your mind, you are able to see more clearly.

The reason some problems seem so daunting is that our mind is racing so fast that we cannot see things as they truly are. Then, we make up a bunch of possible scenarios in our mind, most of which are unlikely to come true.

In addition to seeing more clearly, a calm mind will help us think more realistically. Unrealistic thinking is fueled by confusion and uncontrolled emotions. Calming your mind will reduce confusion and calm your emotions, allowing you to live in the present.

Focus on Solutions Instead of Problems

Some people tend to be more solution-oriented, and others more problem-oriented. Some of the factors that may determine this are gender, upbringing, and education.

People with more education tend to be problem-solvers. That is what their years of education train them to do. In addition, their jobs probably reinforce this way of thinking.

If you’re not problem-solving oriented, don’t worry. You can train yourself to worry less. We’ll discuss that soon.

Step 2: Identify Obstacles to Living in the Moment

In today’s busy world, it can be a challenge to live in the moment. The reasons revolve around how our mind works, as well as outside influences.

Racing Mind

Many busy people have a racing mind that never seems to slow down. Their mind gets so agitated from too much sensory stimulation.

You see, anything that stimulates any of our five senses will trigger a thought, and that thought leads to another, and then another, and so on.

If you have a busy life, all your activities will overstimulate your mind and make it seemingly impossible to slow it down.

Unpleasant Situations and a Troublesome Past

None of us want to be in unpleasant situations, or remember those of the past. They can bring up painful emotions, which we don’t want to feel.

So how do most people cope with painful emotions?

By doing whatever we can to avoid them, we can take our mind to another place and time where things are more pleasant.

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In other words, we avoid living in the present moment.

Some people resort to things that stimulate sensory pleasure, such as food, alcohol, or sex. Others will consume substances that dull their mind and keep them from thinking about unpleasant or stressful situations.

A Wandering Mind

From the moment we are born (likely sooner) until the time we die, our body and mind are active performing some function. Therefore, it’s natural for our mind to have some level of activity, whether conscious or unconscious.

Generally, a wandering mind is unproductive. One thought starts an endless chain of thoughts, and this process can go on until we need our mind to perform a specific function or get distracted with something else.

Now, there are times when a wandering mind can be productive, such as when creating works of art, or trying to find creative solutions to problems. In such cases, we need our mind to explore different possibilities[3].

Outside Influences

Most of us are not fully aware of how our environment and social norms influence our thinking and behavior. People and institutions are constantly competing for our attention. The media draws our attention to the past, and advertising usually to the future[4].

Many people around us who dwell on the past or future try to draw us to their way of thinking. Even the whole concept of the American dream is geared toward the future. It tells us that if we acquire things like a good career, family, and house, then we’ll be happy.

Step 3: Practice Mindfulness

So how can we live in the moment in a world that is constantly trying to draw our attention to the past and future?

Before we get into concrete actions you can take, it’s important to understand what mindfulness is. You’ve probably heard the term before, but may not fully understand what it means.

Understand Mindfulness

The concept of mindfulness is actually quite simple. To be mindful is to live in the moment.

When you are mindful, your attention is focused on what is happening in the present moment, and you are fully in touch with reality[5].

You are aware of what is happening in your body, mind, emotions, and the world around you. This is different than thinking about these things. To develop greater understanding, you don’t have to think about them so much, but rather just observe them.

This may be counterintuitive to many people, especially intellectuals, because they’re so used to using logic to develop greater understanding. With mindfulness, we calm our mind and emotions so we can see clearer. Then, much of our understanding will come from simple observation. When we develop mindfulness, we literally expand our awareness.

To develop mindfulness, we need to train ourselves to observe things more objectively, that is, without our emotions or preconceived ideas influencing our views.

If you’re ready to live a better life, read on for some simple mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you live in the moment.

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You don’t have to do all of them, but rather choose the ones that appeal to you and suit your lifestyle.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is the mainstay of developing mindfulness and living in the moment. To practice mindfulness meditation, all you really have to do is sit quietly and follow your breathing. When your mind wanders off, just bring it back to your breath.

Notice how your lungs expand with each in-breath and contract with each out-breath. Let your breathing become relaxed and natural.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. The idea is to start spending time away from the constant sensory stimulation of all your activities, and just allow it to settle down naturally. Start with about 5 to 10 minutes per day and work your way up to about 20 minutes or longer.

This practice is highly effective, and can have both short-term and long-term benefits.

If you want to learn more about mindfulness meditation, take a look at this article: What Is Mindfulness Meditation? 7 Ways to Start Meditating

Mindful Breathing

While this may sound the same as mindfulness meditation, all you’re really doing is taking short breaks occasionally (10 to 15 seconds) to observe your breathing. Stop whatever you’re doing, and take a few mindful breaths, then resume your activity. That’s it.

You can do mindful breathing at any time of the day during your busy schedule. What it does is interrupt the acceleration of your mind. It is like taking your foot off the accelerator while driving. It’s a nice refreshing break you can take without anyone noticing.

Here’re some breathing exercises you can try to learn: 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly)

Mindful Walking

Walking is an activity that you perform several times throughout the day. We often think we’re being productive by texting or calling someone while walking. But are we really?

Instead of getting on your cell phone or letting your mind wander off, why not use your walking to train yourself to live in the moment and focus on the task at hand?

Mindful walking is similar to mindful breathing, but instead of focusing on your breath, focus on your walking. Pay attention to each footstep. Also, notice the different motions of your arms, legs, and torso. When your mind wanders off, just bring your attention back to your walking.

You can even make a meditation out of walking. That is, go walking for a few minutes outside. Start by slowing down your pace. If you slow down your body, your mind will follow.

In addition to paying attention to your walking, notice the trees, sunshine, and critters. A mindful walk is enjoyable and can really help your mind settle down.

You can discover more benefits of walking in nature here.

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Mindful Eating

Eating is an activity that most of us perform mindlessly. The reason is that it doesn’t require your attention to perform. Therefore, many of us try to multitask while we eat. We may talk on the phone, text, watch TV, or even hold a meeting.

The problem with not eating mindfully is that we don’t eat what our body and mind need to perform at an optimal level[6]. We may eat unhealthy foods, or too much. This can lead to various health problems, especially as we get older.

Live in the present with mindful eating.

    Mindful eating has many health benefits, such as reduced food cravings, better digestion, and even weight loss[7].

    So how do you eat mindfully? Start by slowing down, and avoid the temptation to distract yourself with another activity. Here are 3 different aspects of eating where you can practice mindfulness:

    • Eating itself: Focus your attention on choosing a portion of food to insert into your mouth. Notice the smell, flavor, and texture as you chew it; then finally swallow it. As with following your breath during meditation, pay close attention to every aspect of eating.
    • Choice of foods: Although you’ve already chosen your food before you have begun eating, you can still take the opportunity to contemplate your choices. Think about the nutrients your body needs to sustain itself.
    • Contemplating the sources: Most of us don’t think about all the work it takes to provide us with the food we eat. While you’re eating, consider all the work by the farmer, shipping company, and the grocery store. These are real people who worked hard to provide you with the food necessary for your survival.

    You can find more tips about mindful eating here: 7 Simple Steps to Mindful Eating

    Mindful Activities

    Choose an activity that you perform regularly, such as washing dishes. Focus all your attention on this activity, and resist the temptation to let your mind wander,. When it does, just bring your attention back to washing dishes.

    Notice some of the specific movements or sensations of washing dishes, such as how the soapy water feels on your hands, the circular motion of scrubbing the dish, or the rinsing. You’d be surprised at how such a mundane activity can truly expand your awareness.

    You can choose any activity you like, such as ironing, folding clothes, mowing the lawn, or showering. Over time, you will begin doing all these activities with greater mindfulness.

    Final Thoughts

    Practicing mindfulness is like regularly putting small amounts of change in a jar. They will all add up over time, and this will add up to greater peace and happiness, as well as get you closer to achieving your goals.

    Remember, you don’t have to do the mindfulness practices perfectly to get the benefits. All you have to do is keep bringing your mind back to the present moment when it wanders off.

    Practicing mindfulness may be a bit challenging in the beginning, but I can assure you it will get easier.

    The benefits of living in the moment are well within your reach, no matter how much your mind is racing. If you stick with these mindfulness practices, you too will learn how to live in the moment and stop worrying. When you do, a whole new world will open up for you. This is what Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh calls the ultimate reality.

    More About Living in the Present

    Featured photo credit: Smile Su via unsplash.com

    Reference

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