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20 Beliefs All Happy People Share

20 Beliefs All Happy People Share

Everybody wants to be happy; no matter what your age, background or location, the pursuit of happiness is a universal goal. Even with different definitions of what “happiness” is, there are core beliefs that all happy people seem to have. These are not always conscious thoughts; in many instances, it is their outlook on life and the highs and lows that are part of living that are the most profound beliefs. Here is a collection of twenty beliefs that can help guide you to find the happiness you are seeking – whatever that may be.

1. They believe that anything is possible

Happy people don’t make the mistake of putting limits on what they think can be accomplished. Putting up emotional barriers by stating “it can’t be done” is a sure fire way to limit the ability to act, imagine or dream. Believing that what is desired can be achieved enables a sense of purpose and, in turn, creates a positive mindset that can carry someone through challenging or difficult times. This is more than just positive thinking but an affirmation that they will not let their happiness be limited by the perception of others that there are limits to dreams.

2. They realize that happiness does not have a monetary value

It has become far too commonplace in today’s world to measure happiness in terms of the material acquisitions, the size of an investment portfolio, or dollar amount in the bank. Happy people have long realized that how little or how much one has is a purely transitory state; true wealth, like true happiness, is measured much differently. Studies of other cultures, such as those in Latin America, have shown that the level of happiness and positive outlook doesn’t have to correlate with material goods. Understanding that happiness doesn’t have (or need) a price tag is a major step toward becoming a happier person.

3. They don’t sweat the small stuff

Getting caught up in trivial arguments and issues can be a real blockage to happiness becoming part of daily life. Keeping the bigger picture in mind is an important tool in maintaining a perspective on keeping the focus on those things (and people) that truly matter. Allowing oneself to get hooked by superficial issues creates frustration and, ultimately, a sense of futility about life in general. Happy people understand that, in the end, most of life’s issues are the small stuff and that which matters most is what the heart and spirit are drawn to.

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4. They believe that, in life, there are no accidents

Accepting that there is a connection within the universe and that there is a reason for things that happen, is an important belief of happy people. Whether it is called fate, destiny, synchronicity or other similar terms, recognizing that each encounter, each interaction, that happens fulfills a purpose provides a sense of calm even in the middle of chaotic times. Trusting in their own process and abilities to follow the clues they are being given is part of transforming oneself from feeling like a victim of fate into an intrepid adventurer seeking the future. Life, then, becomes a joyous journey of discovery, rather than an emotional slog.

5. They accept ownership of the past without being bound by it

Happy people have learned that in order to have a true present, there has to be a willingness to acknowledge the past -good and bad- and to own it as part of the path that has lead to this point. Trying to reject or ignore the lessons learned by what has gone before can take too much time and attention from the important task of living in the now. The past cannot be undone; however the missteps and confusion of the past does not control the present, nor is it a predictor of the future. Acknowledging fully where one has been is a crucial part of understanding and appreciating where one is now and where the path of the tomorrow may lead.

6. They don’t allow negativity a place at the table

With the constant barrage of dire information a part of the 24/7/365 connected world, it can be a daunting task to try and remain positive. Yet this is precisely what happy people have committed themselves to doing. The external world is not something that can be controlled; the impact of the negative energy coming from it is something that can be managed. The choice is simple: Should these waves of external negativity be allowed to dictate one’s outlook in terms of personal goals, relationships, and dreams? Happy people answer this question with a resounding “NO!” Maintaining a positive individual outlook can be a kind of spiritual umbrella during the downpour of negative energy from the outside.

7. They embrace the power of “paying it forward”

Unforced giving can be a profound emotional and spiritual booster. Putting that kind of positive energy out into the universe adds a dimension to living in the present that enhances the outlook on tomorrow. Happy people understand that by paying it forward they are investing in a brighter future and, at the same time, making life in the present have more meaning-both  for the recipient of the act and the one who is doing the giving.

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8. They recognize and accept the reality that no one is perfect

When one expects another person to constantly meet a set of expectations, there is a great chance for disappointment and heartache. Human beings, by the very nature of being human, are not perfect and to expect otherwise is naïve and stressful. Happy people accept that perfection is not a part of the human make-up; that applies to themselves as well as those who they are involved with. Ironically, it is precisely this imperfection that makes relationships so compelling. Working together to find a harmonious middle is one of the happiest things two people can do.

9. They understand the importance of time

Time can be a thief, to be sure, and it can be far too easy to let it slip away. Happy people have learned that time is precious and not something to waste. Making the most of time is a largely overlooked part of achieving a happier life. The old phrase “time well spent” is not just an idle observation but an acknowledgement that time itself is a finite commodity for everyone and that making the most of the time one is granted can be one of the most satisfying and pleasurable activities that a person can pursue.

10 .They love without fear

To truly dare to love, without reservation, can seem to be almost a monumental task. The fear of rejection, concerns about a failure in the relationship, even doubts about deserving love, can all stand in the way of the happiness that being with someone should bring. Happy people accept the risk gladly. To experience the glorious victories and, yes, the glorious defeats, is all part of a spiritual reminder of how good it is to be alive and to be able to feel the warmth of the emotional connection with another person.

11. They avoid the clutches of the “green-eyed monster”

There are few emotions that are more destructive to happiness than jealousy. Being envious of another’s achievements ends up consuming time and energy that could (and should) be better spent on making one’s own dreams come true. Even more detrimental is allowing jealousy to cloud the reality of a situation, creating issues where none may exist. Happy people have learned that envy is emotional cancer that can eat away at the spirit and heart. Rejecting these feelings and resisting the negativity they contain can be a truly supportive step towards finding a happier reality.

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12. They accept themselves for who and what they are

It has often been said that the first step to true happiness is loving and acceptance of oneself. There are few things in life less satisfying than trying to be something other than what one is. Truly happy people have long accepted themselves for who they are and those elements within them that make each of them unique. From this starting point, working towards a better future, or making improvements, becomes a task of joy rather than chasing an illusion that one can never hope to reach.

13. They know that you can’t please everyone, so make sure you please yourself

Trying to make everyone in one’s life happy is, truly, an impossible task. Since each person has their own individual opinions and standards, pleasing one person is just as likely to result in the displeasure of another. The resulting frustration ends of leaving a person feeling ineffective and, somehow, to blame. For those who are truly happy, this is no longer a problem; their focus is on pleasing themselves first. This does not mean to do so at the expense of others; rather, this is acknowledging that by creating happiness internally, first, it can become easier to spread that joy to others.

14. They appreciate the necessity of change in order to grow

It is not in human nature to stay stagnant and still find satisfaction and happiness in daily life. The need to look ahead and to want to discover new vistas is the underpinning for the importance that change plays in living. Yet, many people resist and even fear change. Those who have embraced happiness understand that change is an essential part of living and embrace the challenges that change may bring with joy. When fear of the new no longer exists, the pleasure of the unfolding future can be truly appreciated.

15. They are never too busy to “stop and smell the roses”

Appreciating the beauty of the natural world and of life in general is often overlooked in the rush to get things done, get ahead, etc. This obsession with schedules and artificially constructed destinations rarely leaves time to pause and remember exactly what all of this frenetic activity is supposed to be for. Happy people are never too busy to take a moment and enjoy the world’s treasures. The pleasure of a stunning sunset, the smell of fresh cut grass, or just taking a cleansing breath while walking can provide the emotional tonic that is so needed in today’s style of living.

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16. They have learned to be still

Sometimes it is necessary to rein in the racing thoughts and feelings brought on by the near constant bombardment of information and sensory overload that one encounters during the day. The sheer volume of all of this noise can drown out the important internal voice that helps maintain direction and stability in both an emotional and spiritual sense. Learning to be still -to allow the mind and heart to gently disengage from all of the external pressure- is an important practice happy people include in their routines. That mental pause that refreshes restores the ability to smile and know that things are alright after all.

17. They comprehend that happiness isn’t everything

While being happy is certainly important, truly happy people also recognize that happiness, in and of itself, is only one piece of the great puzzle known as life. There will be times that obligations, circumstances, or the press of the moment, may leave one feeling somewhat dismayed or uncertain. Yet, it is precisely in these moments, that lessons are learned that can lead to growth and a greater appreciation of the gifts that life has in store. It is these times of challenge that add to the value of happiness and the knowledge that what may be empty at the moment will fill again in the future.

18. They are grateful

Embracing the joy of living and being grateful for the experiences life bestows is one of the hallmarks of truly happy people. This gratitude is not just lip service but a spiritual thankfulness of being alive and part of this amazing, complex, and sometimes frustrating place that humanity calls home.

19. They focus on what goes right instead of what goes wrong

When something happens, it can usually be viewed in terms of whether something went according to plan or whether things just went off the rails. Yet, in the realm of spirit, there are no absolutes. This is what happy people have learned. It is just as easy to pay attention to the things that have gone as planned and work on those areas, than it is to bemoan things that may have come up a little short.

20. They believe that you are always at the starting gate

Happy people intrinsically understand that in a true spiritual and emotionally sense, one is always at the beginning. Even when there is a transition or failure, this marks a new starting point. As a popular song once noted; “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” These beliefs that truly happy people have embraced are not exclusive. Trying them out is the best way to see if, in fact, a fresh breath of happiness will appear.

Featured photo credit: boy-524512_1280/TaniaVdB via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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