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15 Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself

15 Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself

“I love myself.” That sounds a bit silly (and I doubt anyone would ever say it out loud), but self-love isn’t reserved for the egomaniacs of the world. Finding the confidence to succeed (or even the courage to start) is very difficult if you don’t love yourself. If you’re ready to swoon your hot self, keep on reading.

1. Stop Beating Yourself Up

Would you say the things you think about yourself to another person? If not, you owe yourself an apology. How could you love a person who believes such nasty things about you? Even if you did mess up, get over it. Big goof that’s mostly irrelevant? Laugh at it. Serious mistake that had repercussions? Learn from it. The important thing is to drop your baggage and move on.

2. Think Positive

Focus on your strengths (instead of your weaknesses). Leap out of bed (don’t crawl out of it). Look at every day as a new opportunity (not the same old story). 

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3. Be Thankful

Be aware of all the things you should be thankful for. Make note of the people, places, things and activities that bring you the most joy. If you slow down, you’ll realize you have an awful lot to be thankful for.

4. Learn and Grow

Developing your knowledge and skills will help you develop a healthy swagger and confidence that you can do anything.

5. Accept Your Flaws/Quirks/Weirdness

My penmanship sucks, I can’t ride a bike, I am only good at cooking three things (spaghetti/omelets/sandwiches) and I have an irrational fear of bees (which is so bad that I once drove my car into a stop sign after one flew into an open window on a summer day). And you know what? I wouldn’t change any of that. Be confident in yourself, no matter how “weird” (interesting and unique) you may be. 

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6. Use Your Strengths

Think about the top three accomplishments in your life. I don’t care how big or little they are. It could be graduating college, landing a sweet job, getting your first business client, winning an award, losing weight, or whatever. Now write down the strengths you used to accomplish those three things. See any common threads that led to achievement? If so, the path to more success is right in front of you. Use the strengths that have been proven to work if you want to boost belief in yourself make your weaknesses irrelevant.

7. No More Comparisons

Forget about the celebrities you compare your body to, the relationships you contrast yours with, and the people you are so obsessed with pleasing. Life is not a competition. Your only goal is to become a better version of yourself.

8. Be Comfortable in Your Skin

Yes, build a body that makes you feel strong and confident, but forget about any preconceived notions about what you “should look like.” The only person who gets to decide what “hot” and “sexy” means is you.

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9. Chill Out

Why are you always in such a hurry? It is okay (and in fact necessary) to relax. Our brains can only handle so much. Quiet your inner-chatter, shut off all distractions, prepare a bubble bath, and get in with a good book. You earned it.

10. Pat Yourself on the Back

We are quick to judge ourselves for our mistakes yet we never seem to celebrate ourselves for our successes. Success doesn’t come in the form of a life-altering Big Victory; instead, the path to success typically includes a whole lot of small victories. Be happy with every victory, no matter how small you might think it is, because this will help you feel confident and keep moving forward.

11. Take Care of Your Body

Everything you eat has an influence on your mood and energy levels. If you’re feeling depressed and exhausted, take an honest look at what you are eating. Everyone reacts differently to different foods, but with experimentation you can discover the fuel that results in the best performance.

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12. Dance

Dance parties are always good ideas. Who says you need a partner? Crank up some 80’s jams or show-tunes and get moving. You might feel silly—you might even laugh at yourself—but it will be fun (and you know it). 

13. Have Fun

Life is not meant to be a never-ending to-do list. What makes you feel happy and excited? Do more of that. And before you claim you “don’t have the time,” please realize that there is no such thing as “enough time in the day.” There is, however, a thing called priorities and making the time for fun is a priority if you want to be happy.

14. Pay Attention

When is the last time you really looked at the full moon and shining stars in the pitch black sky? What about the trees in your backyard that are the size of prehistoric dinosaurs? Have you picked a flower at the park lately (for the purpose of nasal delight or hair decoration)? You are surrounded by beautiful things.

15. Smile

Smile because you are worthy of love and happiness and free to have as much as your heart desires (and also you’re going to have a hard time staying sad with that cute grin plastered on your face). 

Can you honestly say you love yourself? If you’ve ever struggled with having a positive self-image and have found solutions that helped, we’d love to hear about them! 

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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