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15 Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself

15 Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself

“I love myself.” That sounds a bit silly (and I doubt anyone would ever say it out loud), but self-love isn’t reserved for the egomaniacs of the world. Finding the confidence to succeed (or even the courage to start) is very difficult if you don’t love yourself. If you’re ready to swoon your hot self, keep on reading.

1. Stop Beating Yourself Up

Would you say the things you think about yourself to another person? If not, you owe yourself an apology. How could you love a person who believes such nasty things about you? Even if you did mess up, get over it. Big goof that’s mostly irrelevant? Laugh at it. Serious mistake that had repercussions? Learn from it. The important thing is to drop your baggage and move on.

2. Think Positive

Focus on your strengths (instead of your weaknesses). Leap out of bed (don’t crawl out of it). Look at every day as a new opportunity (not the same old story). 

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3. Be Thankful

Be aware of all the things you should be thankful for. Make note of the people, places, things and activities that bring you the most joy. If you slow down, you’ll realize you have an awful lot to be thankful for.

4. Learn and Grow

Developing your knowledge and skills will help you develop a healthy swagger and confidence that you can do anything.

5. Accept Your Flaws/Quirks/Weirdness

My penmanship sucks, I can’t ride a bike, I am only good at cooking three things (spaghetti/omelets/sandwiches) and I have an irrational fear of bees (which is so bad that I once drove my car into a stop sign after one flew into an open window on a summer day). And you know what? I wouldn’t change any of that. Be confident in yourself, no matter how “weird” (interesting and unique) you may be. 

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6. Use Your Strengths

Think about the top three accomplishments in your life. I don’t care how big or little they are. It could be graduating college, landing a sweet job, getting your first business client, winning an award, losing weight, or whatever. Now write down the strengths you used to accomplish those three things. See any common threads that led to achievement? If so, the path to more success is right in front of you. Use the strengths that have been proven to work if you want to boost belief in yourself make your weaknesses irrelevant.

7. No More Comparisons

Forget about the celebrities you compare your body to, the relationships you contrast yours with, and the people you are so obsessed with pleasing. Life is not a competition. Your only goal is to become a better version of yourself.

8. Be Comfortable in Your Skin

Yes, build a body that makes you feel strong and confident, but forget about any preconceived notions about what you “should look like.” The only person who gets to decide what “hot” and “sexy” means is you.

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9. Chill Out

Why are you always in such a hurry? It is okay (and in fact necessary) to relax. Our brains can only handle so much. Quiet your inner-chatter, shut off all distractions, prepare a bubble bath, and get in with a good book. You earned it.

10. Pat Yourself on the Back

We are quick to judge ourselves for our mistakes yet we never seem to celebrate ourselves for our successes. Success doesn’t come in the form of a life-altering Big Victory; instead, the path to success typically includes a whole lot of small victories. Be happy with every victory, no matter how small you might think it is, because this will help you feel confident and keep moving forward.

11. Take Care of Your Body

Everything you eat has an influence on your mood and energy levels. If you’re feeling depressed and exhausted, take an honest look at what you are eating. Everyone reacts differently to different foods, but with experimentation you can discover the fuel that results in the best performance.

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12. Dance

Dance parties are always good ideas. Who says you need a partner? Crank up some 80’s jams or show-tunes and get moving. You might feel silly—you might even laugh at yourself—but it will be fun (and you know it). 

13. Have Fun

Life is not meant to be a never-ending to-do list. What makes you feel happy and excited? Do more of that. And before you claim you “don’t have the time,” please realize that there is no such thing as “enough time in the day.” There is, however, a thing called priorities and making the time for fun is a priority if you want to be happy.

14. Pay Attention

When is the last time you really looked at the full moon and shining stars in the pitch black sky? What about the trees in your backyard that are the size of prehistoric dinosaurs? Have you picked a flower at the park lately (for the purpose of nasal delight or hair decoration)? You are surrounded by beautiful things.

15. Smile

Smile because you are worthy of love and happiness and free to have as much as your heart desires (and also you’re going to have a hard time staying sad with that cute grin plastered on your face). 

Can you honestly say you love yourself? If you’ve ever struggled with having a positive self-image and have found solutions that helped, we’d love to hear about them! 

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Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

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People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

“A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

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What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

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Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

“That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

Don’t overlook introspection.

While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

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When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

“Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

The Bottom Line

You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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