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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

Happiness is a state of mind. Truly happy people maintain a positive mindset even in full view of the negatives in life. These people are optimists with strong ethics and high integrity. They are kind, loving, caring and compassionate to everyone indiscriminately. Looking at them, you will realize how confident, content and at ease they are with whom they are. What keeps them positive and brimming with a sunny disposition is that there are certain things that truly happy people just don’t care for.

1. They don’t care for amassing material possessions.

Sure, owning luxury cars, mansions and a load of cash in the bank is nice. But, these things don’t guarantee happiness and success. Truly happy people are more interested in using their resources to add value in people’s lives and living a decent, modest life. If the money keeps coming, they are happy. If they money doesn’t come, they are still happy and content.

2. They don’t care for getting anything in return.

Everybody enjoys an unexpected complement or reward. However, while others crave praise and rewards, truly happy people serve and help others without expecting anything in return. For truly happy people, the reward is knowing that they have added value and enriched the life of someone.

3. They don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations.

People are constantly under pressure to meet society’s expectations, which is often stressful and overwhelming. Who you associate with, work for and even marry is often dictated by quiet societal expectations. Truly happy people don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations and standards. They simply look within themselves and do what feels right in their heart. By listening to their gut and following their heart, they are able to create deep satisfaction and happiness.

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4. They don’t care for people’s prejudices.

Some people harbor prejudicial notions about cultural, social and religious “outroups” they don’t belong. Truly happy people don’t care for any of that. They treat everyone equally without discriminating based on incorrect attitudes or stereotypes like sex, race, religion, age, sexual orientations and socioeconomic status. Truly happy people judge you for who you are and what you are capable of—not where you are from or the color of your skin.

5. They don’t care for others’ approval or validation.

Happy people don’t really care what you think about them because they know their own self-worth. They listen and factor in what others have to say, but don’t seek anyone’s validation. They know that if you live for people’s approval, you will die from their rejection. Truly happy people simply do what needs to be done and never let naysayers discourage them.

6. They don’t care for being right all the time.

Truly happy people don’t mind being wrong sometimes. After all, no one knows everything and has all the answers in life. It is by accepting you are wrong that you open doors to learn what is right. Truly happy people listen and apply sound ideas that are sometimes contrary to their own. This facilitates learning, allows for good co-existence and boosts happiness.

7. They don’t care for un-conducive environments.

Truly happy people don’t care for environments that are not conducive for positive engagement or time out. They know such environments are stressful, reduce happiness levels and can even be harmful, including noisy, dirty and polluted surroundings. Instead, truly happy people value and protect environments that make positive actions and choices easy and enjoyable, such as peaceful places like parks.

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8. They don’t care for social comparisons.

Truly happy people don’t compare themselves to others. They may seek to learn what others are doing better so they can replicate similar success, but they are always keen to focus on their own progress and praise others on theirs. This makes them happier and protects them from jealousy, resentment and an unhealthy sense of superiority over others.

9. They don’t care for meddling in peoples’ business.

Truly happy people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Sure, they will come to your aid if you ask for it and try to intervene when you are clearly headed in the wrong direction, but they primarily focus on getting their own house in order before attempting to help others. This ensures they are focused and helps avoid conflicts with people who want to be left alone.

10. They don’t care for gossip.

Truly happy people don’t care for gossip and rumor mongering. They are content with their own lives and have no desire to concern themselves with what is going on in someone else’s life. The only people who care for gossip are shallow people whose personal lives are not fulfilling enough.

11. They don’t care for toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships not only entail obvious vices like physical abuse and name-calling, but also subtle things like constant complaints and mood swings that drag you down. Truly happy people don’t care for all types of toxic relationships because these relationships only bring toxic results. Truly happy people surround themselves with optimistic people who want more out of life and are able to build healthy relationships that bring joy.

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12. They don’t care for holding grudges.

All of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another at some point. While holding a grudge and resentment against these offenders is easy, truly happy people know this is not the best option. They know holding a grudge is a surefire way to poison your thoughts and quite possibly your actions. Truly happy people forgive and move forward. This means rising above the issue and freeing yourself from resentment. As Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”

13. They don’t care for lies.

You might say everyone is guilty of telling a lie at one point or another. That may be so, but some people tend to tell lies more readily than others. Truly happy people don’t care for this latter group of people and their lies. Lives fall apart fast when they are held together by lies and deception. Truly happy people understand this fact and know it is better to offer no explanation than bend the truth or give false account.

14. They don’t care for complaining.

Complaints are the fruits of an un-contented life. Truly happy people don’t care for complaining because they are content with their own lives. They don’t care for constant whiners either because these people are a vexation to the spirit. Truly happy people are simply grateful for what they have and hopeful for what will come even when things are not going their way.

15. They don’t care for revenge.

Finally, if you truly want to lead a happy life, you cannot afford to actively seek revenge against another person. Truly happy people leave revenge up to fate. They make peace with the issue and instead actively seek ways to put that negative energy into more positive, productive use.

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Remember…

Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes things won’t go your way. That is just how life works. But, happiness is always an option even when you think it’s not. Choose to be happy from today!

Featured photo credit: Just Ard via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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