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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

Happiness is a state of mind. Truly happy people maintain a positive mindset even in full view of the negatives in life. These people are optimists with strong ethics and high integrity. They are kind, loving, caring and compassionate to everyone indiscriminately. Looking at them, you will realize how confident, content and at ease they are with whom they are. What keeps them positive and brimming with a sunny disposition is that there are certain things that truly happy people just don’t care for.

1. They don’t care for amassing material possessions.

Sure, owning luxury cars, mansions and a load of cash in the bank is nice. But, these things don’t guarantee happiness and success. Truly happy people are more interested in using their resources to add value in people’s lives and living a decent, modest life. If the money keeps coming, they are happy. If they money doesn’t come, they are still happy and content.

2. They don’t care for getting anything in return.

Everybody enjoys an unexpected complement or reward. However, while others crave praise and rewards, truly happy people serve and help others without expecting anything in return. For truly happy people, the reward is knowing that they have added value and enriched the life of someone.

3. They don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations.

People are constantly under pressure to meet society’s expectations, which is often stressful and overwhelming. Who you associate with, work for and even marry is often dictated by quiet societal expectations. Truly happy people don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations and standards. They simply look within themselves and do what feels right in their heart. By listening to their gut and following their heart, they are able to create deep satisfaction and happiness.

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4. They don’t care for people’s prejudices.

Some people harbor prejudicial notions about cultural, social and religious “outroups” they don’t belong. Truly happy people don’t care for any of that. They treat everyone equally without discriminating based on incorrect attitudes or stereotypes like sex, race, religion, age, sexual orientations and socioeconomic status. Truly happy people judge you for who you are and what you are capable of—not where you are from or the color of your skin.

5. They don’t care for others’ approval or validation.

Happy people don’t really care what you think about them because they know their own self-worth. They listen and factor in what others have to say, but don’t seek anyone’s validation. They know that if you live for people’s approval, you will die from their rejection. Truly happy people simply do what needs to be done and never let naysayers discourage them.

6. They don’t care for being right all the time.

Truly happy people don’t mind being wrong sometimes. After all, no one knows everything and has all the answers in life. It is by accepting you are wrong that you open doors to learn what is right. Truly happy people listen and apply sound ideas that are sometimes contrary to their own. This facilitates learning, allows for good co-existence and boosts happiness.

7. They don’t care for un-conducive environments.

Truly happy people don’t care for environments that are not conducive for positive engagement or time out. They know such environments are stressful, reduce happiness levels and can even be harmful, including noisy, dirty and polluted surroundings. Instead, truly happy people value and protect environments that make positive actions and choices easy and enjoyable, such as peaceful places like parks.

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8. They don’t care for social comparisons.

Truly happy people don’t compare themselves to others. They may seek to learn what others are doing better so they can replicate similar success, but they are always keen to focus on their own progress and praise others on theirs. This makes them happier and protects them from jealousy, resentment and an unhealthy sense of superiority over others.

9. They don’t care for meddling in peoples’ business.

Truly happy people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Sure, they will come to your aid if you ask for it and try to intervene when you are clearly headed in the wrong direction, but they primarily focus on getting their own house in order before attempting to help others. This ensures they are focused and helps avoid conflicts with people who want to be left alone.

10. They don’t care for gossip.

Truly happy people don’t care for gossip and rumor mongering. They are content with their own lives and have no desire to concern themselves with what is going on in someone else’s life. The only people who care for gossip are shallow people whose personal lives are not fulfilling enough.

11. They don’t care for toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships not only entail obvious vices like physical abuse and name-calling, but also subtle things like constant complaints and mood swings that drag you down. Truly happy people don’t care for all types of toxic relationships because these relationships only bring toxic results. Truly happy people surround themselves with optimistic people who want more out of life and are able to build healthy relationships that bring joy.

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12. They don’t care for holding grudges.

All of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another at some point. While holding a grudge and resentment against these offenders is easy, truly happy people know this is not the best option. They know holding a grudge is a surefire way to poison your thoughts and quite possibly your actions. Truly happy people forgive and move forward. This means rising above the issue and freeing yourself from resentment. As Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”

13. They don’t care for lies.

You might say everyone is guilty of telling a lie at one point or another. That may be so, but some people tend to tell lies more readily than others. Truly happy people don’t care for this latter group of people and their lies. Lives fall apart fast when they are held together by lies and deception. Truly happy people understand this fact and know it is better to offer no explanation than bend the truth or give false account.

14. They don’t care for complaining.

Complaints are the fruits of an un-contented life. Truly happy people don’t care for complaining because they are content with their own lives. They don’t care for constant whiners either because these people are a vexation to the spirit. Truly happy people are simply grateful for what they have and hopeful for what will come even when things are not going their way.

15. They don’t care for revenge.

Finally, if you truly want to lead a happy life, you cannot afford to actively seek revenge against another person. Truly happy people leave revenge up to fate. They make peace with the issue and instead actively seek ways to put that negative energy into more positive, productive use.

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Remember…

Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes things won’t go your way. That is just how life works. But, happiness is always an option even when you think it’s not. Choose to be happy from today!

Featured photo credit: Just Ard via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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