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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

Happiness is a state of mind. Truly happy people maintain a positive mindset even in full view of the negatives in life. These people are optimists with strong ethics and high integrity. They are kind, loving, caring and compassionate to everyone indiscriminately. Looking at them, you will realize how confident, content and at ease they are with whom they are. What keeps them positive and brimming with a sunny disposition is that there are certain things that truly happy people just don’t care for.

1. They don’t care for amassing material possessions.

Sure, owning luxury cars, mansions and a load of cash in the bank is nice. But, these things don’t guarantee happiness and success. Truly happy people are more interested in using their resources to add value in people’s lives and living a decent, modest life. If the money keeps coming, they are happy. If they money doesn’t come, they are still happy and content.

2. They don’t care for getting anything in return.

Everybody enjoys an unexpected complement or reward. However, while others crave praise and rewards, truly happy people serve and help others without expecting anything in return. For truly happy people, the reward is knowing that they have added value and enriched the life of someone.

3. They don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations.

People are constantly under pressure to meet society’s expectations, which is often stressful and overwhelming. Who you associate with, work for and even marry is often dictated by quiet societal expectations. Truly happy people don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations and standards. They simply look within themselves and do what feels right in their heart. By listening to their gut and following their heart, they are able to create deep satisfaction and happiness.

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4. They don’t care for people’s prejudices.

Some people harbor prejudicial notions about cultural, social and religious “outroups” they don’t belong. Truly happy people don’t care for any of that. They treat everyone equally without discriminating based on incorrect attitudes or stereotypes like sex, race, religion, age, sexual orientations and socioeconomic status. Truly happy people judge you for who you are and what you are capable of—not where you are from or the color of your skin.

5. They don’t care for others’ approval or validation.

Happy people don’t really care what you think about them because they know their own self-worth. They listen and factor in what others have to say, but don’t seek anyone’s validation. They know that if you live for people’s approval, you will die from their rejection. Truly happy people simply do what needs to be done and never let naysayers discourage them.

6. They don’t care for being right all the time.

Truly happy people don’t mind being wrong sometimes. After all, no one knows everything and has all the answers in life. It is by accepting you are wrong that you open doors to learn what is right. Truly happy people listen and apply sound ideas that are sometimes contrary to their own. This facilitates learning, allows for good co-existence and boosts happiness.

7. They don’t care for un-conducive environments.

Truly happy people don’t care for environments that are not conducive for positive engagement or time out. They know such environments are stressful, reduce happiness levels and can even be harmful, including noisy, dirty and polluted surroundings. Instead, truly happy people value and protect environments that make positive actions and choices easy and enjoyable, such as peaceful places like parks.

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8. They don’t care for social comparisons.

Truly happy people don’t compare themselves to others. They may seek to learn what others are doing better so they can replicate similar success, but they are always keen to focus on their own progress and praise others on theirs. This makes them happier and protects them from jealousy, resentment and an unhealthy sense of superiority over others.

9. They don’t care for meddling in peoples’ business.

Truly happy people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Sure, they will come to your aid if you ask for it and try to intervene when you are clearly headed in the wrong direction, but they primarily focus on getting their own house in order before attempting to help others. This ensures they are focused and helps avoid conflicts with people who want to be left alone.

10. They don’t care for gossip.

Truly happy people don’t care for gossip and rumor mongering. They are content with their own lives and have no desire to concern themselves with what is going on in someone else’s life. The only people who care for gossip are shallow people whose personal lives are not fulfilling enough.

11. They don’t care for toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships not only entail obvious vices like physical abuse and name-calling, but also subtle things like constant complaints and mood swings that drag you down. Truly happy people don’t care for all types of toxic relationships because these relationships only bring toxic results. Truly happy people surround themselves with optimistic people who want more out of life and are able to build healthy relationships that bring joy.

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12. They don’t care for holding grudges.

All of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another at some point. While holding a grudge and resentment against these offenders is easy, truly happy people know this is not the best option. They know holding a grudge is a surefire way to poison your thoughts and quite possibly your actions. Truly happy people forgive and move forward. This means rising above the issue and freeing yourself from resentment. As Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”

13. They don’t care for lies.

You might say everyone is guilty of telling a lie at one point or another. That may be so, but some people tend to tell lies more readily than others. Truly happy people don’t care for this latter group of people and their lies. Lives fall apart fast when they are held together by lies and deception. Truly happy people understand this fact and know it is better to offer no explanation than bend the truth or give false account.

14. They don’t care for complaining.

Complaints are the fruits of an un-contented life. Truly happy people don’t care for complaining because they are content with their own lives. They don’t care for constant whiners either because these people are a vexation to the spirit. Truly happy people are simply grateful for what they have and hopeful for what will come even when things are not going their way.

15. They don’t care for revenge.

Finally, if you truly want to lead a happy life, you cannot afford to actively seek revenge against another person. Truly happy people leave revenge up to fate. They make peace with the issue and instead actively seek ways to put that negative energy into more positive, productive use.

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Remember…

Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes things won’t go your way. That is just how life works. But, happiness is always an option even when you think it’s not. Choose to be happy from today!

Featured photo credit: Just Ard via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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