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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

Happiness is a state of mind. Truly happy people maintain a positive mindset even in full view of the negatives in life. These people are optimists with strong ethics and high integrity. They are kind, loving, caring and compassionate to everyone indiscriminately. Looking at them, you will realize how confident, content and at ease they are with whom they are. What keeps them positive and brimming with a sunny disposition is that there are certain things that truly happy people just don’t care for.

1. They don’t care for amassing material possessions.

Sure, owning luxury cars, mansions and a load of cash in the bank is nice. But, these things don’t guarantee happiness and success. Truly happy people are more interested in using their resources to add value in people’s lives and living a decent, modest life. If the money keeps coming, they are happy. If they money doesn’t come, they are still happy and content.

2. They don’t care for getting anything in return.

Everybody enjoys an unexpected complement or reward. However, while others crave praise and rewards, truly happy people serve and help others without expecting anything in return. For truly happy people, the reward is knowing that they have added value and enriched the life of someone.

3. They don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations.

People are constantly under pressure to meet society’s expectations, which is often stressful and overwhelming. Who you associate with, work for and even marry is often dictated by quiet societal expectations. Truly happy people don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations and standards. They simply look within themselves and do what feels right in their heart. By listening to their gut and following their heart, they are able to create deep satisfaction and happiness.

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4. They don’t care for people’s prejudices.

Some people harbor prejudicial notions about cultural, social and religious “outroups” they don’t belong. Truly happy people don’t care for any of that. They treat everyone equally without discriminating based on incorrect attitudes or stereotypes like sex, race, religion, age, sexual orientations and socioeconomic status. Truly happy people judge you for who you are and what you are capable of—not where you are from or the color of your skin.

5. They don’t care for others’ approval or validation.

Happy people don’t really care what you think about them because they know their own self-worth. They listen and factor in what others have to say, but don’t seek anyone’s validation. They know that if you live for people’s approval, you will die from their rejection. Truly happy people simply do what needs to be done and never let naysayers discourage them.

6. They don’t care for being right all the time.

Truly happy people don’t mind being wrong sometimes. After all, no one knows everything and has all the answers in life. It is by accepting you are wrong that you open doors to learn what is right. Truly happy people listen and apply sound ideas that are sometimes contrary to their own. This facilitates learning, allows for good co-existence and boosts happiness.

7. They don’t care for un-conducive environments.

Truly happy people don’t care for environments that are not conducive for positive engagement or time out. They know such environments are stressful, reduce happiness levels and can even be harmful, including noisy, dirty and polluted surroundings. Instead, truly happy people value and protect environments that make positive actions and choices easy and enjoyable, such as peaceful places like parks.

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8. They don’t care for social comparisons.

Truly happy people don’t compare themselves to others. They may seek to learn what others are doing better so they can replicate similar success, but they are always keen to focus on their own progress and praise others on theirs. This makes them happier and protects them from jealousy, resentment and an unhealthy sense of superiority over others.

9. They don’t care for meddling in peoples’ business.

Truly happy people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Sure, they will come to your aid if you ask for it and try to intervene when you are clearly headed in the wrong direction, but they primarily focus on getting their own house in order before attempting to help others. This ensures they are focused and helps avoid conflicts with people who want to be left alone.

10. They don’t care for gossip.

Truly happy people don’t care for gossip and rumor mongering. They are content with their own lives and have no desire to concern themselves with what is going on in someone else’s life. The only people who care for gossip are shallow people whose personal lives are not fulfilling enough.

11. They don’t care for toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships not only entail obvious vices like physical abuse and name-calling, but also subtle things like constant complaints and mood swings that drag you down. Truly happy people don’t care for all types of toxic relationships because these relationships only bring toxic results. Truly happy people surround themselves with optimistic people who want more out of life and are able to build healthy relationships that bring joy.

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12. They don’t care for holding grudges.

All of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another at some point. While holding a grudge and resentment against these offenders is easy, truly happy people know this is not the best option. They know holding a grudge is a surefire way to poison your thoughts and quite possibly your actions. Truly happy people forgive and move forward. This means rising above the issue and freeing yourself from resentment. As Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”

13. They don’t care for lies.

You might say everyone is guilty of telling a lie at one point or another. That may be so, but some people tend to tell lies more readily than others. Truly happy people don’t care for this latter group of people and their lies. Lives fall apart fast when they are held together by lies and deception. Truly happy people understand this fact and know it is better to offer no explanation than bend the truth or give false account.

14. They don’t care for complaining.

Complaints are the fruits of an un-contented life. Truly happy people don’t care for complaining because they are content with their own lives. They don’t care for constant whiners either because these people are a vexation to the spirit. Truly happy people are simply grateful for what they have and hopeful for what will come even when things are not going their way.

15. They don’t care for revenge.

Finally, if you truly want to lead a happy life, you cannot afford to actively seek revenge against another person. Truly happy people leave revenge up to fate. They make peace with the issue and instead actively seek ways to put that negative energy into more positive, productive use.

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Remember…

Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes things won’t go your way. That is just how life works. But, happiness is always an option even when you think it’s not. Choose to be happy from today!

Featured photo credit: Just Ard via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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