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15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

15 Things Truly Happy People Don’t Care For

Happiness is a state of mind. Truly happy people maintain a positive mindset even in full view of the negatives in life. These people are optimists with strong ethics and high integrity. They are kind, loving, caring and compassionate to everyone indiscriminately. Looking at them, you will realize how confident, content and at ease they are with whom they are. What keeps them positive and brimming with a sunny disposition is that there are certain things that truly happy people just don’t care for.

1. They don’t care for amassing material possessions.

Sure, owning luxury cars, mansions and a load of cash in the bank is nice. But, these things don’t guarantee happiness and success. Truly happy people are more interested in using their resources to add value in people’s lives and living a decent, modest life. If the money keeps coming, they are happy. If they money doesn’t come, they are still happy and content.

2. They don’t care for getting anything in return.

Everybody enjoys an unexpected complement or reward. However, while others crave praise and rewards, truly happy people serve and help others without expecting anything in return. For truly happy people, the reward is knowing that they have added value and enriched the life of someone.

3. They don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations.

People are constantly under pressure to meet society’s expectations, which is often stressful and overwhelming. Who you associate with, work for and even marry is often dictated by quiet societal expectations. Truly happy people don’t care for conforming to society’s expectations and standards. They simply look within themselves and do what feels right in their heart. By listening to their gut and following their heart, they are able to create deep satisfaction and happiness.

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4. They don’t care for people’s prejudices.

Some people harbor prejudicial notions about cultural, social and religious “outroups” they don’t belong. Truly happy people don’t care for any of that. They treat everyone equally without discriminating based on incorrect attitudes or stereotypes like sex, race, religion, age, sexual orientations and socioeconomic status. Truly happy people judge you for who you are and what you are capable of—not where you are from or the color of your skin.

5. They don’t care for others’ approval or validation.

Happy people don’t really care what you think about them because they know their own self-worth. They listen and factor in what others have to say, but don’t seek anyone’s validation. They know that if you live for people’s approval, you will die from their rejection. Truly happy people simply do what needs to be done and never let naysayers discourage them.

6. They don’t care for being right all the time.

Truly happy people don’t mind being wrong sometimes. After all, no one knows everything and has all the answers in life. It is by accepting you are wrong that you open doors to learn what is right. Truly happy people listen and apply sound ideas that are sometimes contrary to their own. This facilitates learning, allows for good co-existence and boosts happiness.

7. They don’t care for un-conducive environments.

Truly happy people don’t care for environments that are not conducive for positive engagement or time out. They know such environments are stressful, reduce happiness levels and can even be harmful, including noisy, dirty and polluted surroundings. Instead, truly happy people value and protect environments that make positive actions and choices easy and enjoyable, such as peaceful places like parks.

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8. They don’t care for social comparisons.

Truly happy people don’t compare themselves to others. They may seek to learn what others are doing better so they can replicate similar success, but they are always keen to focus on their own progress and praise others on theirs. This makes them happier and protects them from jealousy, resentment and an unhealthy sense of superiority over others.

9. They don’t care for meddling in peoples’ business.

Truly happy people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Sure, they will come to your aid if you ask for it and try to intervene when you are clearly headed in the wrong direction, but they primarily focus on getting their own house in order before attempting to help others. This ensures they are focused and helps avoid conflicts with people who want to be left alone.

10. They don’t care for gossip.

Truly happy people don’t care for gossip and rumor mongering. They are content with their own lives and have no desire to concern themselves with what is going on in someone else’s life. The only people who care for gossip are shallow people whose personal lives are not fulfilling enough.

11. They don’t care for toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships not only entail obvious vices like physical abuse and name-calling, but also subtle things like constant complaints and mood swings that drag you down. Truly happy people don’t care for all types of toxic relationships because these relationships only bring toxic results. Truly happy people surround themselves with optimistic people who want more out of life and are able to build healthy relationships that bring joy.

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12. They don’t care for holding grudges.

All of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another at some point. While holding a grudge and resentment against these offenders is easy, truly happy people know this is not the best option. They know holding a grudge is a surefire way to poison your thoughts and quite possibly your actions. Truly happy people forgive and move forward. This means rising above the issue and freeing yourself from resentment. As Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”

13. They don’t care for lies.

You might say everyone is guilty of telling a lie at one point or another. That may be so, but some people tend to tell lies more readily than others. Truly happy people don’t care for this latter group of people and their lies. Lives fall apart fast when they are held together by lies and deception. Truly happy people understand this fact and know it is better to offer no explanation than bend the truth or give false account.

14. They don’t care for complaining.

Complaints are the fruits of an un-contented life. Truly happy people don’t care for complaining because they are content with their own lives. They don’t care for constant whiners either because these people are a vexation to the spirit. Truly happy people are simply grateful for what they have and hopeful for what will come even when things are not going their way.

15. They don’t care for revenge.

Finally, if you truly want to lead a happy life, you cannot afford to actively seek revenge against another person. Truly happy people leave revenge up to fate. They make peace with the issue and instead actively seek ways to put that negative energy into more positive, productive use.

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Remember…

Life is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes things won’t go your way. That is just how life works. But, happiness is always an option even when you think it’s not. Choose to be happy from today!

Featured photo credit: Just Ard via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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