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15 Things People Who Love Their Lives Do Differently

15 Things People Who Love Their Lives Do Differently

I think pretty much everyone’s ultimate goal is to be happy and love their lives. But how many people really do? If you ever come across the lucky few who genuinely do love the life they are living, you might think, “What are they doing differently?” If that thought has ever crossed your mind, here are 15 things that these people do, that you can too…once you make the decision:

1. They know that life is short.

It might sound cliche, but people who love their lives know that every moment is a precious gift. They frequently have their mortality on their minds, not in an obsessive way, but in a way that reminds them to live each day to the fullest and not take a single thing for granted.

2. They aren’t demanding of other people’s attention.

If you’re happy and love the life you are living, there is no need to be the constant center of attention. People who love their lives tend to be self-confident, and they don’t need everyone falling at their feet to feel good about themselves.

3. They are wise with where they spend their money.

Happy people who love their lives realize that being impulsive or careless with their money will have negative consequences. They think before they spend. They budget and make sure that they never go into debt, because that would cause unneeded stress.

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4. They are in touch with their feelings.

Part what is so great about life is loving other people and feeling our emotions deeply. While they can’t guarantee that their emotions will always be good, people who love their lives allow themselves to feel and express emotions. They realize that feelings are part of life and they don’t repress them.

5. They claim their own power.

In other words, they don’t let anyone control their world. For example: if someone says or something nasty to them, they don’t let it ruin their life. They change what they can, accept what they can’t, and let the negative emotions flow through them so they don’t let other people control how they feel.

6. They roll with the punches.

Life never goes the way we expect. People who love their lives know this. They know that the unexpected can happen, but they don’t let it stop them from being happy. They simply shift gears and find another direction.

7. They know how to control their actions.

Some people think their actions are a result of some outside force. How many times have you heard, “She made me yell because she said something stupid!” No. No one makes you yell but you. Yes, people can make you angry, but what you do with that anger–and how you channel it into action–is another story. People who love their lives know this.

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8. They take responsibity for their actions.

No one is perfect. As I said in #7, happy people know that they control their actions. However, sometimes they make mistakes. If they ever temporarily lose control and behave in a manner that may have hurt someone (or isn’t productive), they apologize. After they apologize, they change their behavior.

9. They turn their passion into a career.

You have probably heard people say, “Do you what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Many people agree, but they don’t know how to make it happen. People who love their lives know that there is a way to turn any passion into a money-making opportunity.

10. They know they have the ability to control their thoughts.

Most people think that their thoughts control them, instead of vice versa. That isn’t true. At any time, you have the ability to choose a different thought. You might not believe it at first, but the more you replay a positive thought over and over in your head, the more you will start to live it.

11. They only associate with positive people who lift them higher.

Happy people don’t like to be around negative people. They get drained, and would probably rather be home reading a good book alone than be around any negativity. No one likes complainers, so people who love their lives only surround themselves with other positive people.

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12. They enjoy being with people and being alone.

Being social is fun, but being alone also has its benefits. People who love their lives are able to incorporate both into their lives. They don’t necessarily lean to either extreme; they tend to have balance.

13. They are confident in the choices they make.

They have the ability to step back and logically analyze the choices presented to them. They think before they act. They look at the possible consequences of each choice. Once they make a decision, they are confident about it. Even if it doesn’t turn out as planned, they can change courses fairly easily and happily (see #6).

14. They know how to be a positive influence on others.

People who love their lives know that their life is an example for the world. They know that other people are watching them, and they try to be the best they can be. They only want to spread happiness and joy, and to model good behavior.

15. They love themselves.

This is not narcissistic love (narcissism isn’t really self-love at all). What I mean is that they genuinely like who they are. In other words, if they were someone else, they would probably be friends with themselves. They think they’re pretty cool.

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If you don’t love your life, don’t give up hope. There are always changes you can make to become happier. These 15 things are just the start to being happy and loving your life. Why not try a few of them today?

Featured photo credit: Happy hipster girl making photo with retro camera on city street via shutterstock.com

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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