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15 Things Only People Who Have Talkative Best Friends Would Understand

15 Things Only People Who Have Talkative Best Friends Would Understand

I myself am not a very chatty person, but I love my talkative friends. They make life oh[!] so interesting. If you are like me and have close friends or loved ones who are super talkative, then you’ll understand what I mean when I say these things about talkative friends…

1. They HAVE to tell you about their day!

They just can’t help themselves. They’ll call or come over to your place to tell you about their day. Fortunately, there is no silent or dull moment in their day. The way they describe it is so interesting that if you didn’t know any better you’d be pretty jealous.

2. Although they speak a million words a second, you always try to pay attention and listen

That’s because you love them and you don’t want to hurt their feeling by appearing not to care. Besides, if you don’t pay attention you might miss an important point in there—and that would be worse than interrupting.

3. They always have an inclination to bring up and make a commentary on random things, and it often seems like they are experts at the mundane

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boys can be so dumb

    But just because they have an opinion on everything and always talk a lot, doesn’t mean they know what they are talking about. Hilarious!

    4. Because they talk so much, they often don’t bother listening to you

    They often cut you short in mid-sentence and it makes you mad. Even when you’re mad at them though, you still know that you care about them. You understand that they HAVE to speak. It’s simply their nature.

    5. They have certain pet topics that just triggersthem to gush on and on when they come up in conversation

    …So you must always have a list of alternative, more bearable topics on hand to spring on them whenever they ratchet up on their pet topic: such as raising questions about the person they’re dating, fashion or sports.

    6. They always have a bag full of surprises and unpredictable answers to every question you throw at them

    And that is why you fear asking them some questions, because you never know what they will say or where they will take the conversation. Sometimes their answers are eye-opening; sometimes not so much.

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    7.  They’re always sharing the tiniest of details with you (and others) only to realize what a silly thing they’ve just done

    You’ve actually watched people nudge them and say “ssshhh,” when they are speaking out of place. You always feel embarrassed for them for sharing way too much information than was called for.

    8. They have a penchant for talking to themselves and having conversations in their own heads

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      That’s when they are silent (which is rare). You always wonder whether they get time to just sit and rest their brain. Still, you’re impressed how they never seem to get bored—even when they are left alone in their own company.

      9. They probably will never be able to keep a secret forever!

      That’s because you know how much they like to talk.Because they talk so much, they tend to let things slip—secrets included. It’s really not that surprising any more that they somehow always inadvertently let the cat out of the bag.

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      10. They are excellent at starting and holding conversations—even with total strangers

      …And how they are able to make new friends and hold conversations so effortlessly never ceases to amaze you. It’s still a mystery to you how they do it with a total stranger. Anyway, they have the gift of the gab and you love it because it makes you look cool and interesting by association.

      11. They are a life saver in social situations where small talk (which you hate) is expected

      You never have to worry about small talk or feel out of place when you are out with them on social gatherings, because they will always hold the conversation. When you see them in action talking to people freely it always makes you want to open up just as much as they do.

      12. You can always trust them to blurt out spoilers for the books, movie or TV show you’re watching

      oops

        And that makes you so mad—at least most of the time it does.

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        13. They are forthright and tell you like it is!

        Because they don’t keep secrets or hold back information from you, they always tell you exactly what is on their mind, especially when they are upset with you for some reason. You hate it that they are so forthright, but love it because issues in your relationship are dealt with openly.

        14. They say quirky, esoteric things that sometimes get you in trouble

        You’ve actually been sent out of places like meetings, classes or stores because they were making noise or fun of someone or something. While it’s always funny when you get in trouble with them, you’re usually not proud of what you said or did together when you think about it later.

        15. You have to expressly tell them they talk too much and should stop it now for them to stop

        …And you tell them to stop in a light-hearted way because you love them. They’re your best friend. You know one day they will be able to put their talent to the best possible use—as a storyteller, motivational speaker or even stand-up comedian.

        More by this author

        David K. William

        David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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        Published on May 18, 2021

        How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

        How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

        We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

        The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

        Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

        Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

        Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

        There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

        Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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        Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

        We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

        Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

        A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

        The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

        Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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        Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

        Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

        Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

        While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

        Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

        These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

        Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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        Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

        Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

        Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

        Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

        Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

        Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

        As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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        This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

        Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

        Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

        These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

        Actions Speak Louder Than Words

        Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

        Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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        Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

        More Tips Improving Listening Skills

        Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

        Reference

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