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15 Things Only Passionate People Would Understand

15 Things Only Passionate People Would Understand

Follow your passion. How many times have we heard that? When we do, life changes and we radiate joy and enthusiasm for what we are passionate about. If you are passionate about life or something in particular, you can relate to these 15 things which only you can understand.

1. You don’t need motivation.

I know a woman who gets up at 5.a.m to help the homeless people in her city. This daily action of helping and giving back to the less fortunate represents her core values. She does not need to seek motivation as her guiding principles are never in question.

2. You know all about opening doors.

One passion leads to more opportunities. When you are passionate about a job, a hobby, a holiday or volunteering, the doors they open up are truly amazing. A passion can become your career or make a relationship bloom. The great thing is that when one part of your life is full of passion you are not going to take second best in all the other parts.

3. You are prepared to take risks.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” – William Faulkner

People who are not passionate are always on the look out for guarantees. A loan officer at a bank will rarely give out a loan to someone who is following his passion. But you know that once you have done your homework and have been diligent, there comes the moment to take that risk. Taking that leap of faith is often the doorway to even more success and happiness.

4. You have laser focus.

You know that spreading your time and talents over too many things may distract you from the number one passion. That gives you a laser focus and you are prepared to miss out on some enjoyable things to make that happen. Robert Sternberg, Past President of the American Psychological Association talks about his laser focus in getting home to be with his toddler triplets but not doing so until he has written a set number of chapters for new book. Being passionate helps him to deliver on his strategy of getting his priorities right.

“You have to decide what your priorities are and say, ‘I’m going to make it happen’—and then just make it happen.”- Robert Sternberg.

5. You are surrounded by other passionate people.

You know only too well how to avoid toxic people who whine, complain and are generally negative. Surrounding yourself with other passionate people gives you even more inspiration. The joy of interacting and sharing with them is truly priceless.

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6. You are not afraid of failure.

One of the great challenges passionate people face is that it will not always be plain sailing. Look at the sports champions who have to overcome lost matches and injuries. They have to keep going and it is their passion that drives them on, in spite of many failures.

7. You look for solutions.

An obstacle is not a roadblock. It is merely a difficulty along the way and can provide you with solutions. Passionate people are always on the lookout for solutions, ways to improve, faster delivery, or streamlined processes. You name it – you are on the job.

8. You see the beauty of other people.

You are the one who homes in on the amazing qualities of the people around you. You know that your partner is just a superb person or that your parents are truly unique. You know how to see people’s great qualities and that is so important in keeping your own passion thriving.

9. You cannot persuade everyone to be like you.

Another challenge passionate people face is that not everybody around you will understand why or how your passion is driving you. They are often not on the same wavelength at all so you have to put up with being a little lonely at times. The best solution is to get busy and not dwell on that too much.

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10. You cannot sleep.

The downside of having this searing passion when you wake up is that your sleep tends to suffer. It is hard to let go and stop thinking about what gives your life its purpose. It really is hard to switch off at times.

11. You have to put up with jealousy.

Not everyone you meet or work with will understand why you are so passionate about your projects. They are the ones who have settled into their rather dull comfort zones. They will never understand what it is like to go all out and reach their potential. You can expect some jealousy or envy on their part but that will never discourage you.

12. You love your job.

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

Do what you love doing in your job may sound like Utopia for many of us. This is where passionate people have triumphed because you have found your passion points and been able to develop them so that you can do your job with great enthusiasm and excitement. If you still have not found your passion, exploit your interests and take some courses, whether it is in web design or creative writing.

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13. You read a lot.

“I find television to be very educating.  Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

Whatever your passion, you will need to be fully informed. Networking and chatting are useful but nothing will beat reading extensively about your passion. But also reading about everything that interests you will make you more knowledgeable, reflective and successful.

14. You have daily goals.

You wake up early because you have so much to do. In addition, you have decided what is important to achieve to-day and you usually have a few top priorities which are going to help you succeed. You can see exactly where they fit in with your long term goals.

15. You can cope with the voices in your head.

Another difficulty passionate people have to face is the voices from loved ones they keep hearing in their heads, especially if there is danger involved. Let us imagine your passion is scuba diving. Yes, there are risks but you have done all the training and you have enough experience now to dive alone. You can silence those voices you keep hearing about “what if?” by just reminding yourself that these are not your fears, but those of your loved ones. They do not realize how much you love what you are doing.

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How can passionate people make great things happen? I think it is because they feel so fulfilled in doing a wonderful job and above all because they love what they do.

Featured photo credit: Young bold girl woman in hipster clothes, jumping on the roof, dressed like a boy man in a shirt, bow-tie, suspenders and pants trousers via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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