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15 Things Mindful People Do Differently

15 Things Mindful People Do Differently

Mindful people don’t waste time obsessing with a future that they cannot predict. They shift their focus to the present moment, because that’s where progress happens. Check out these things mindful people do differently for less stress and more success.

1. They listen.

Mindful people are masters of awareness, an art that escapes many people. They engage eye contact with people when they speak. They enjoy the music of birds chirping while they enjoy their morning coffee. They enter conversations only when they have something valuable to say.

2. They day-dream.

Concentration is a good skill to have, but it becomes even more powerful when combined with imagination. It can be hard to stay interested in a complex project like writing a book. Mindful people let their thoughts drift to how happy and accomplished they will feel when it is complete, which reminds them that it is worth the effort.

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3. They go outside.

It is not healthy to spend every moment of your day chained to a desk in a zombie-like state, without any opportunity to escape. Mountains are meant to be climbed. Rivers are meant to be canoed. All of the wilderness in this world is a playground that is meant to be explored.

4. They take breaks.

If you’re a student, you’ve probably noticed that your ability to focus on studying diminishes more and more with every passing moment. Mindful people take mini-breaks every hour or so, because they know the brain can only concentrate for so long before it needs a reboot. There is nothing productive about forcing yourself to work beyond that breaking point.

5. They pause to reflect.

How do you think you will ever accomplish your purpose without pausing to consider your place in the world? Keeping a journal will help you make sense of the feelings swirling inside you. You will also identify toxic influences in your environment that need to be addressed.

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6. They laugh at themselves.

I went to a Pilates class last week. We performed a balance pose with feet stretched over our heads. Lost my balance. Turned an accidental back flip. Made a big THUD! Everyone stared at me. Instructor asked, “Are you okay?” I turned what could have been an embarrassing situation into a comedic moment by replying, “Yep, just got carried away with the momentum there!” Everyone laughed. Class continued. No big deal. Little things like this aren’t worth worrying about.

7. They nourish their bodies.

Eating shouldn’t be viewed as an act of deprivation. Instead, see it as an opportunity to nourish your body with healthy foods that will make you feel positively alive. Mindful people pay attention to how different foods influence their body and mood. If it causes an upset stomach or wrecks your energy, then you probably shouldn’t be eating it.

8. They express their feelings.

The longer you bury an emotion, the more intense it will become. Putting up barriers can temporarily prevent difficult conversations. But hiding the truth for too long could cause permanent damage to trust in your relationships. Speak your mind without filter. If a person can’t handle the real you, then they don’t deserve you.

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9. They look people in the eye.

Mindful people don’t make a habit of staring at their cellphones during a conversation. Not only is this inconsiderate, but it could also cause them to miss important nonverbal cues that reveal how genuine a person is being. If their physical presence is at odds with what they say, then they might be hiding something.

10. They know when to be quiet.

Silence is nothing to fear. Admiring a glorious sunset while listening to waves crash on the beach. Comforting a friend with a simple hug during a terrible struggle. Listening to your partner’s heartbeat while you enjoy a lazy Sunday morning in bed. These beautiful moments would be hindered, not helped, by a compulsion to fill the air with meaningless words.

11. They tap into their creativity.

A life without art isn’t a life worth living. You don’t have to be a Beethoven, Michelangelo, or Shakespeare. All it takes is an open mind, positive attitude, and honest expression. Act. Cook. Dance. Paint. Sing. Write. All creation, no matter the method, will challenge you to grow into a stronger person.

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12. They embrace opportunities.

Zig Ziglar once said, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” Mindful people don’t pursue comfort, because they know this road inevitably leads to complacency. If you can’t remember the last time you fell short, then you’re probably not aiming high enough.

13. They focus on what they’re doing.

Most people stumble through life like a drunkard, without any awareness of their surroundings. Driving to work with no recollection of the trip. Eating a food while paying no attention to their body’s signals that it has had enough. Performing a task in the midst of distractions that cause them to make inexcusable errors. Mindful people do one thing at a time.

14. They challenge their preexisting beliefs.

Opinions worth having should hold up to scrutiny. Only an arrogant person would be unwilling to consider the other side of an issue. Engaging in a thoughtful debate probably won’t change your mind, but it will introduce you to new ideas that grow your perspective.

15. They only dwell on encouraging thoughts.

Mindful people let thoughts drift in their consciousness without any judgment attached. They travel through this mental chatter with the caution of a soldier walking through a battlefield covered in landmines, carefully identifying the thoughts that empower them and discarding the rest.

Featured photo credit: From A to B/Chris Frank via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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