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15 Things Happy People Don’t Do

15 Things Happy People Don’t Do

Everyone is seeking happiness at some level . Everyone. Their results are the manifestation of how they go about it and what they do. True lasting happiness is what matters so read on to find out exactly 15 things happy people DON’T do.

1. They don’t forget to dream

Happy people don’t forget to dream, they believe in themselves and that those dreams are possible, reachable and doable. They make time to dream and make plans for their lives for exactly how they want things to be.

2. They don’t act selfish towards others

Happy people don’t like being selfish, in fact they could never be happy if they were selfish. Instead happy people are compassionate and giving people. they give to others with their time, patience and love.

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3. They don’t buy stuff to make them happy

Happy people don’t need to buy materialist goods to make them happy. They don’t have to do ‘retail therapy’ just to feel good. In a society that promotes buying stuff to feel good, happy people know better. Sure they treat themselves but for all the right reasons.

4. They don’t forget to take action

Happy people don’t forget to make their lives matter whether it’s taking action on goals and dreams or taking action to improve their lives, they just do it there is no excuse.

5. They don’t compare themselves to other people

Happy people don’t compare themselves to other people because they know they are special and unique. Comparing yourself to someone else and their achievements is one of the worst things to do to sabotage you confidence and self esteem.

You are special and one of a kind.

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6. They don’t take life for granted

Happy people don’t take life for granted because they know life is short. They are the people that make the most of their experiences create their own circumstances and appreciate the present moment.

7. They don’t let the world tell them who they should be

Happy people don’t conform. They are trailblazers who follow their heart, who make their own decisions. They are leaders and people who set standards for themselves.

8. They don’t hold regrets

Happy people don’t hold regrets they use mistakes and see them as an opportunity to learn a lesson. Happy people forgive others and let go of anything that will allow them to be unhappy and emotionally drained.

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9. They don’t allow negativity

Happy people don’t allow negative people or circumstances to make them angry or get them upset. I’m not saying these emotions are not a natural pat of our existence but i am saying to always be around negative people will drain you leaving you with circumstances you want to avoid. Happy people make the time to be around people that contribute to their happiness.

10. They don’t put others down

They have learned to understand other people’s differences and accept them. When you put other people down it’s usually a sign of your own insecurities. Happy people care for others and never put them down.

11. They don’t forget about their health

Happy people don’t forget to take care of themselves. They are conscious about their health and this could be eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, taking holidays, pampering sessions… I’m getting carried away but you get the picture!

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12. They don’t forget to be thankful

Happy people don’t forget this word. And that word is ‘gratitude’. Being forever grateful, happy people know this is one of the most important things they could ever do. Gratitude allows you to put your focus on all the amazing people and things you have in your life as well as the places, creations of nature and wonders of beauty that have been created for you. By focusing on these circumstances you create for yourself satisfaction instead of the need for more.

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    13. They don’t waste time

    Happy people don’t allow themselves to waste time.Having realized how precious life is, they always use their time wisely. By allowing yourself to waste time you will loose something you can never get back.

    14. They don’t forget to focus on what they want

    Happy people don’t forget to create for themselves what they truly want in life. Sometimes taking action and moving forward can be scary, but happy people take the plunge anyway instead of staying stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled. Focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want will make your life so much better.

    15. They don’t forget to be happy

    Happy people (ironically) don’t forget to be happy! Happiness is a a choice and a science. Happiness comes through what we tochoose to think, our thoughts create our feelings, which create emotions and our emotions are what makes us feel happy or unhappy. Choose your thoughts wisely, find out what gets you excited, what energizes you and what you value in life. knowing who you are will allow you to understand what excites you and makes you happy.

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    Diana Reid

    CEO - Moxie House Ltd

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    Last Updated on January 24, 2021

    How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

    How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

    Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

    For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

    But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

    It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

    And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

    The Importance of Saying No

    When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

    In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

    Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

    Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

    Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

    “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

    When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

    How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

    It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

    From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

    We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

    And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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    At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

    The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

    How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

    Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

    But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

    3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

    1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

    Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

    If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

    2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

    When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

    Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

    3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

    When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

    6 Ways to Start Saying No

    Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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    1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

    One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

    Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

    2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

    Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

    Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

    3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

    Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

    Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

    You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

    4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

    Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

    Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

    5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

    When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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    How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

      Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

      Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

      6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

      If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

      Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

      Final Thoughts

      Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

      Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

      Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

      More Tips on How to Say No

      Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
      [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
      [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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