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15 Things Happy People Don’t Do

15 Things Happy People Don’t Do

Everyone is seeking happiness at some level . Everyone. Their results are the manifestation of how they go about it and what they do. True lasting happiness is what matters so read on to find out exactly 15 things happy people DON’T do.

1. They don’t forget to dream

Happy people don’t forget to dream, they believe in themselves and that those dreams are possible, reachable and doable. They make time to dream and make plans for their lives for exactly how they want things to be.

2. They don’t act selfish towards others

Happy people don’t like being selfish, in fact they could never be happy if they were selfish. Instead happy people are compassionate and giving people. they give to others with their time, patience and love.

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3. They don’t buy stuff to make them happy

Happy people don’t need to buy materialist goods to make them happy. They don’t have to do ‘retail therapy’ just to feel good. In a society that promotes buying stuff to feel good, happy people know better. Sure they treat themselves but for all the right reasons.

4. They don’t forget to take action

Happy people don’t forget to make their lives matter whether it’s taking action on goals and dreams or taking action to improve their lives, they just do it there is no excuse.

5. They don’t compare themselves to other people

Happy people don’t compare themselves to other people because they know they are special and unique. Comparing yourself to someone else and their achievements is one of the worst things to do to sabotage you confidence and self esteem.

You are special and one of a kind.

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6. They don’t take life for granted

Happy people don’t take life for granted because they know life is short. They are the people that make the most of their experiences create their own circumstances and appreciate the present moment.

7. They don’t let the world tell them who they should be

Happy people don’t conform. They are trailblazers who follow their heart, who make their own decisions. They are leaders and people who set standards for themselves.

8. They don’t hold regrets

Happy people don’t hold regrets they use mistakes and see them as an opportunity to learn a lesson. Happy people forgive others and let go of anything that will allow them to be unhappy and emotionally drained.

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9. They don’t allow negativity

Happy people don’t allow negative people or circumstances to make them angry or get them upset. I’m not saying these emotions are not a natural pat of our existence but i am saying to always be around negative people will drain you leaving you with circumstances you want to avoid. Happy people make the time to be around people that contribute to their happiness.

10. They don’t put others down

They have learned to understand other people’s differences and accept them. When you put other people down it’s usually a sign of your own insecurities. Happy people care for others and never put them down.

11. They don’t forget about their health

Happy people don’t forget to take care of themselves. They are conscious about their health and this could be eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, taking holidays, pampering sessions… I’m getting carried away but you get the picture!

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12. They don’t forget to be thankful

Happy people don’t forget this word. And that word is ‘gratitude’. Being forever grateful, happy people know this is one of the most important things they could ever do. Gratitude allows you to put your focus on all the amazing people and things you have in your life as well as the places, creations of nature and wonders of beauty that have been created for you. By focusing on these circumstances you create for yourself satisfaction instead of the need for more.

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    13. They don’t waste time

    Happy people don’t allow themselves to waste time.Having realized how precious life is, they always use their time wisely. By allowing yourself to waste time you will loose something you can never get back.

    14. They don’t forget to focus on what they want

    Happy people don’t forget to create for themselves what they truly want in life. Sometimes taking action and moving forward can be scary, but happy people take the plunge anyway instead of staying stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled. Focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want will make your life so much better.

    15. They don’t forget to be happy

    Happy people (ironically) don’t forget to be happy! Happiness is a a choice and a science. Happiness comes through what we tochoose to think, our thoughts create our feelings, which create emotions and our emotions are what makes us feel happy or unhappy. Choose your thoughts wisely, find out what gets you excited, what energizes you and what you value in life. knowing who you are will allow you to understand what excites you and makes you happy.

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    Diana Reid

    CEO - Moxie House Ltd

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    Published on April 7, 2021

    6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

    6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

    Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

    While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

    1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

    Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

    If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

    In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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    2. They Make Everything Transactional

    Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

    For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

    Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

    A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

    Some statements to be wary of include:

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    • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
    • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
    • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
    • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

    3. They Criticize Everything

    One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

    However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

    Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

    • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
    • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
    • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
    • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

    4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

    We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

    For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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    This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

    5. They Socially Isolate You

    Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

    Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

    This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

    In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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    6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

    It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

    Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

    Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

    • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
    • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
    • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
    • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

    Final Thoughts

    It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

    More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

    Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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