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15 Struggles Only Mature People Would Understand

15 Struggles Only Mature People Would Understand

We all have to mature someday. Facing this period of our lives may seem daunting. Yet, growth is important to be the best you can be. With such growth comes certain realizations of owning up to what life has presented us with.

1. You don’t have to always please others

Pleasing others becomes secondary as you mature. Maturing means you define your priorities and honestly deal with decisions. You see the world from your own eyes rather than from the eyes of your friends or others.

2. You become responsible for your actions

As you grow older and become matured you understand the importance of taking responsibility. It is a tough battle to prove to the world how skillful and prepared you are. But it could become a better choice than blaming everyone else for your problems and challenges.

3. You have to deal with your emotions

Negative emotions like anger, disappointment and regret have a way of giving way to positive feelings like forgiveness, tolerance and optimism when you become matured. You have to be able to deal with your feelings and build a strong character from it.

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4. You have to delay gratification

You are not a victim of impulsive actions. You don’t only think through your actions, but you analyze them carefully. You want the best for yourself and getting that may mean saying no more often, which can be a tough challenge many times.

5. You know how important your self-respect is

Bruised ego and a burnt soul is something that has to be far away from you. You want to be an ideal character people can look up to and admire. You are more conscious of the things you say and do as you mature.

6. You have to become more adaptable

Working under a terrible boss, being in the wrong company or facing difficult times are things you can adjust to rather than simply retreating from. In the past you would have thrown the towel to bitter challenges but rather than take the easy way out, you toughen up and face up to challenges.

7. You have to appreciate money as a tool rather than an item

Growing up you may not have discovered what money really means because you were not working as hard for it until you matured. Money has to become a tool to getting the right things done, rather than an ornament to be boastful about. You appreciate the essence of every dollar you earn and are more meticulous with the way you handle it.

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8. You have to tolerate others

Arguing and trying to get your way must have being fun and exciting in the past but maturity comes with the knowing that getting your way could mean losing a friend or hurting someone you care about. You have to become more accommodating and incisive with how you treat others.

9. You have to appreciate relationships better

Missing your sister’s wedding may be a simpler choice, but you understand the importance of being there for her and showing the family that you can be there for her during her special moments. You have to value relationships that count and commit yourself to them.

10. You have to make smart decisions

Making decisions or picking the right choices is not easy for anyone – but it has to become an easy task if you want to make a positive impact to your surroundings.

11. You know the world is not about you

You have to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs. You have to understand that other people matter too and the world is not made for only you.

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12. You have to manage criticism

As you grow older you learn that criticism is an important element of life. Whether you are successful or not you will receive them. This is why you have to toughen up and handle criticism the matured way.

13. You have to pay attention to your health

Becoming more matured means that your health would come with some challenges. Your body becomes a tool for success and you have to deal with any issues it presents. You are meticulous about what you eat and drink. Protecting your body becomes your responsibility.

14. You have to love someone

Although being alone provides pleasure you also understand that you have to commit to someone emotionally. Loving someone other than yourself takes courage but with maturity this has to take a more serious direction.

15. You have to worry less

No matter what you are going through you know you can’t solve anything by worrying a lot. You have to manage your negative emotions and channel it positively instead.

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Maturing can be exciting and challenging but with it comes a sense of ownership and this independence we all have to meet.

Featured photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com via download.unsplash.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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