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15 Struggles Only Mature People Would Understand

15 Struggles Only Mature People Would Understand

We all have to mature someday. Facing this period of our lives may seem daunting. Yet, growth is important to be the best you can be. With such growth comes certain realizations of owning up to what life has presented us with.

1. You don’t have to always please others

Pleasing others becomes secondary as you mature. Maturing means you define your priorities and honestly deal with decisions. You see the world from your own eyes rather than from the eyes of your friends or others.

2. You become responsible for your actions

As you grow older and become matured you understand the importance of taking responsibility. It is a tough battle to prove to the world how skillful and prepared you are. But it could become a better choice than blaming everyone else for your problems and challenges.

3. You have to deal with your emotions

Negative emotions like anger, disappointment and regret have a way of giving way to positive feelings like forgiveness, tolerance and optimism when you become matured. You have to be able to deal with your feelings and build a strong character from it.

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4. You have to delay gratification

You are not a victim of impulsive actions. You don’t only think through your actions, but you analyze them carefully. You want the best for yourself and getting that may mean saying no more often, which can be a tough challenge many times.

5. You know how important your self-respect is

Bruised ego and a burnt soul is something that has to be far away from you. You want to be an ideal character people can look up to and admire. You are more conscious of the things you say and do as you mature.

6. You have to become more adaptable

Working under a terrible boss, being in the wrong company or facing difficult times are things you can adjust to rather than simply retreating from. In the past you would have thrown the towel to bitter challenges but rather than take the easy way out, you toughen up and face up to challenges.

7. You have to appreciate money as a tool rather than an item

Growing up you may not have discovered what money really means because you were not working as hard for it until you matured. Money has to become a tool to getting the right things done, rather than an ornament to be boastful about. You appreciate the essence of every dollar you earn and are more meticulous with the way you handle it.

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8. You have to tolerate others

Arguing and trying to get your way must have being fun and exciting in the past but maturity comes with the knowing that getting your way could mean losing a friend or hurting someone you care about. You have to become more accommodating and incisive with how you treat others.

9. You have to appreciate relationships better

Missing your sister’s wedding may be a simpler choice, but you understand the importance of being there for her and showing the family that you can be there for her during her special moments. You have to value relationships that count and commit yourself to them.

10. You have to make smart decisions

Making decisions or picking the right choices is not easy for anyone – but it has to become an easy task if you want to make a positive impact to your surroundings.

11. You know the world is not about you

You have to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs. You have to understand that other people matter too and the world is not made for only you.

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12. You have to manage criticism

As you grow older you learn that criticism is an important element of life. Whether you are successful or not you will receive them. This is why you have to toughen up and handle criticism the matured way.

13. You have to pay attention to your health

Becoming more matured means that your health would come with some challenges. Your body becomes a tool for success and you have to deal with any issues it presents. You are meticulous about what you eat and drink. Protecting your body becomes your responsibility.

14. You have to love someone

Although being alone provides pleasure you also understand that you have to commit to someone emotionally. Loving someone other than yourself takes courage but with maturity this has to take a more serious direction.

15. You have to worry less

No matter what you are going through you know you can’t solve anything by worrying a lot. You have to manage your negative emotions and channel it positively instead.

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Maturing can be exciting and challenging but with it comes a sense of ownership and this independence we all have to meet.

Featured photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com via download.unsplash.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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