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15 Simple But Romantic Gestures Only Women Who Are So In Love Understand

15 Simple But Romantic Gestures Only Women Who Are So In Love Understand

Saying “I love you” can mean the world. But sometimes, he doesn’t even have to say anything to you, for you to know that he adores you. Here are some romantic gestures that women in love love.

1. When he writes you letters or notes

It doesn’t matter if you see him every day or live under the same roof – a written confirmation of his feelings gives you something tangible to read over and over again when you’re feeling low, have had a hard day, when he’s on a business trip, or just when you want to get the warm fuzzies. Taking the time to put his love into words lets you know he cares.

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    2. When he makes you things

    While a shiny pair of earrings or a new Coach purse can send you spinning, it makes you glow from the inside out when he makes you something with his own two hands. It can be as simple as a birthday card made with construction paper and crayons, or a plate of your favorite childhood treat that he had your mom teach him to make; or maybe he put together a book of his favorites photos of you two, or painted a scene from your fist date or honeymoon. It doesn’t have to be expensive or perfect to touch your heart.

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    3. When he hugs you

    A kiss when you wake up, an arm around your shoulder while you’re waiting in line at the grocery store, and hand holding during the movies are certainly welcome gestures of affection. But when he takes the time to give you a long, warm bear hug – the snuggle-your-nose-into-his-shoulder, close-your-eyes kind of hug – you sink into it, and for a few moments, the rest of the world doesn’t matter.

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      4. When he lets you talk

      While it may be cliche, doesn’t it mean the world to know that you can tell him anything and he’ll listen without judgement and without interruption? Even if he disagrees with how you handled a tough situation at work or a conversation with your sister, you love that he lets you express the whole story and your feelings about it before offering advice or talking you through the problem.

      5. When he invites you along

      There’s something to be said for bro time, and while your man certainly deserve time with just the guys, you love when he invites you – even when you don’t end up tagging along. It could be that the guys are going to the movie you’ve been dying to see, or the bar you’ve been wanting to hit, or even just having a video game session – when he includes you in his plans with his friends, you not only get to spend time together, but get to know the guys he’s chosen to be friends with – it’s a win/win!

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      6. When he lets you have the last bite

      Sharing food can increase feelings of closeness and intimacy and decrease any chance of selfishness in your relationship. We all want the last bag fry, and when he hands you the bag and tells you to enjoy, it makes you feel like his number one priority. When you opt for a light salad but he lets you have as many “little” bites of his cheesy, bacon mac ‘n’ cheese as you want, or, more importantly, when you share dessert, and he lets you eat the majority of that piece of tiramisu or cheesecake, your heart fills up with joy and contentment that go beyond a happy stomach.

      7. When he opens your doors

      They say chivalry is dead, but he makes sure it lives on! Before getting in the car, he opens your door AND closes it after all your fingers and toes are safely inside; when it’s raining, snowing, cold, or you’re rocking those 4″ heels, her drops you at the door of your destination and meets you inside once he’s parked; and when you’re taking a walk, he lets you have the inside track while he walks closest to the road. His genteel ways never get old.

      8. When he remembers the past moments of being with you

      Living in the present and reveling in each day with your best guy is a good habit to get into – but you love when he starts off with “remember the time…” and you both laugh about last Thanksgiving when the turkey caught on fire, when you shared your first kiss, or just that perfect day at the lake. It lets you know he treasures the time you’ve had together so far, and reminds you both to cherish today, which will be another memory in the future.

      9. When he catches on

      You can’t recall how many times you’ve told him to put his socks in the hamper or wipe up the water from the bathroom vanity – but the days he remembers all on his own has you bursting with satisfied surprise. When he brings you the spoon you prefer with your macaroni instead of a fork, or leaves all the M&Ms in the trail mix because he knows they’re your favorite ingredient, or just puts the butter back in the fridge like you always do, you feel as though you’re in sync and that he’s paying attention.

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      10. When he compliments you in that very unique way

      Everyone has an ugly day – the ones where your nose it too wide, your calves are too thick, or your hair is too flat. On those days especially, hearing the words “you’re beautiful” or “I love the way you look, all the time” lets you know that he sees past all your self-perceived flaws and loves you for who you are and not what you wish you were.

      11. When he does the chores

      Whether it’s folding your T-shirts or doing the dishes, you love when he does chores that he admittedly dislikes so you can get out of them. It shows that he values making your life easier over his. That’s a true sign of love right there.

      12. When he’s honest with you

      We all want to be told that our Pinterest-found-casserole is delicious and that our new lip gloss gives us Angelina Jolie lips. But when that’s not the case, he tells you in a kind, compassionate, loving way. It may be hard not to take the comments personally at first, but realizing he only has your best interests at heart means more than a fake smile at the first bite of your failed bacon-beef-jalapeno-ranch soufflé.

      13. When he helps you pick out clothes

      And not just bikinis and mini skirts. When he sits outside the dressing room while you model work khakis and button-ups, and tells you he prefers the blue shirt to the green, it not only makes your decision easier, but lets you know he’s paying attention and wants to help in even the most mundane, practical aspects of your life.

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      14. When he says your name

      Nicknames are cute and fun, but when your actual name comes out of his mouth, it sounds different than when anyone else says it. It might just be the love talking, but you swear that it sounds sweeter and more beautiful, even when he’s just asking you what you want to eat at the drive-thru.

      15. When he squeezes your hand

      Holding hands is great, whether you prefer the waffle or pancake variety. What makes any hand holding a little more special is when he squeezes your hand to remind you he’s there – whether you’re driving in the car, taking a walk in the park, or in the waiting room at the dentist, that extra little squeeze makes you feel extra-secure and loved.

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        Love these romantic gestures? Here are even more ideas. (And a few more for good measure.)

        Featured photo credit: I Will Never If You Never/Christian Gonzalez via flickr.com

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        15 Simple But Romantic Gestures Only Women Who Are So In Love Understand

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        Last Updated on October 22, 2020

        8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

        8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

        How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

        Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Most people, however, want to just give—their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential.

        When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do—roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening—the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

        Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That’s why it’s important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

        What Makes People Poor Listeners?

        Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

        1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

        Well, who doesn’t? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they’re mentally planning all the amazing things they’re going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

        Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

        It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you.

        2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

        This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener—hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

        Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

        3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening”

        It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time—I know I have.

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        I’ve actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn’t work. I had to keep asking, “what did you say?” I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I’ve succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it.

        If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that!

        4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

        While you’re “listening,” you decide that the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening?

        To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you’d have to really listen, wouldn’t you? Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

        My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—they’re quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he’s saying and understands the language perfectly.

        Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

        Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most.

        How To Be a Better Listener

        For conversation’s sake, though, let’s just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

        1. Pay Attention

        A good listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

        According to Skills You Need, “active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening—otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.”[1]

        As I mentioned, it’s normal for the mind to wander. We’re human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

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        I want to note here that you can also “listen” to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn’t on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

        2. Use Positive Body Language

        You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

        A good listener’s body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They’re letting the speaker know that they’re being heard.

        People say things for a reason—they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, “I had a really rough day!” and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

        But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, “Oh, no. What happened?” How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

        According to Alan Gurney,[2]

        “An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can’t be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

        Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more ‘open’ and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them.”

        3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

        I am certain you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It’s rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you’re saying just to finish your sentence.

        Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

        Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It’s extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

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        Be polite and wait your turn!

        4. Ask Questions

        Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don’t respond with, “that’s nice.” That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, “how long have you been skiing?” “Did you find it difficult to learn?” “What was your favorite part of the trip?” etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

        5. Just Listen

        This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood.

        I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her—that’s all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

        I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn’t need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to “fix” something.

        6. Remember and Follow Up

        Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

        For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, “Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife’s promotion?” At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you’re interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

        According to new research, “people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates.”[3]

        It’s so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

        7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

        If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

        Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

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        Keeping someone’s confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, “one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client’s personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them.”[4]

        Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

        NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

        1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.
        2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

        8. Maintain Eye Contact

        When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don’t want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they’re saying has value.

        Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

        By eye contact, I don’t mean a hard, creepy stare—just a gaze in the speaker’s direction will do. Make it a point the next time you’re in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it’s not easy, especially if you’re not interested in what they’re talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you’ve got to get going.

        Final Thoughts

        Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

        You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

        And isn’t that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You’ve got two great ears. Now use them!

        More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

        Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Skills You Need: Active Listening
        [2] Filtered: Body language for active listening
        [3] Forbes: People Will Like You More If You Start Asking Follow-up Questions
        [4] TAFE NSW Sydney eLearning Moodle: Confidentiality

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