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15 Signs You Have the Coolest Brother in the World

15 Signs You Have the Coolest Brother in the World

My only sibling is my brother, five years older than I. Yes, I am that lucky girl who has the coolest brother in the world. But it is not necessary that only elder brothers are the coolest. Younger brothers can be equally chilled out. Here are 15 ways to know if you are lucky to have the coolest brother in the world.

1. You see him as your best confidant.

Your brother was the first person to know about your little secret. You would make him cross-upon-your-heart before letting out that top-secret of yours, but deep down you knew he would not spill it out. The secret might have been a small-bore, but he would pretend it was of great matter. And after all these years, he is still your first person to whom you will run to with a secret.

2. You have a brother who’s your best buddy.

He is your first best friend. No one will doubt that, given that the ample of times you guys have spent together as children. His friends are your friends too, and vice versa. You still prefer to get drunk in his company than you would with your friends. And you would still sit in the dark and watch horror movies with him, knowing that he would laugh at your face while you scream away, and would constantly tease you later. You thoroughly enjoy it as much as you hate it.

3. You may be his best buddy, but he knows your limits too.

This is the case when you have an elder brother. He may know all (okay, nearly all) your secrets, and know you smoke and have a crush on one of his friends, still he would be the one to correct your mistakes and make sure you know your limits too. Scolding is another option mostly preferred by the brothers to keep you in control!

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4. You ask him for knowledge.

Brothers are the best teachers you can ever ask for! Whether you want to know about the meaning of life, or those subjects you constantly fail to comprehend at school, or the secret behind WWE, it is always your brother who would answer your every question. You love the way he patiently explains it to you, despite your constant I-still-don’t-understands.

5. You know he knows you inside out, and outside in.

You can not hide anything from your brother. Anything. Even if you are upset and you have been crying away secretly, your brother will still know it. Maybe because you guys have been growing up and literally facing the same kinds of situations together. You also know that even after all these years he still understands you like no other person more than him.

6. You can start a conversation right where you have left it.

This is an amazing part of having a cool brother. He doesn’t mind whether you have abruptly hung up the phone, or you have left the room in the middle of a conversation. Because, at the end of the day, you can easily start off right where you have left it. It does not matter where you are residing. It does not matter how long you have not met each other. It also does not matter if you talk or Skype once in a blue moon.

7. You guys are the perfect partners-in-crime.

My brother was always the Batman whereas I was his Robin. We would cook up crimes and pretend to rescue each other. Another time, he would become a world famous detective, and I, his loyal assistant. And if anyone tried to bully me, my brother would come to save me. He would still do this for me, despite living oceans apart and growing up into full bloom adults!

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8. You know that your biggest supporter is your brother!

It does not matter whether you are a star soccer player in your school, or a geek who nails science projects every single time, or a person with no talent at all, you brother will always be your biggest supporter! He will cheer for you, and will look through all your faults. He will make you believe in yourself; one of the best parts of having a cool bro!

9. You have a permanent bank in him.

Need money? But you don’t want to go through all the process of “verbally” filling up the form (your dad or mom WILL ASK you anyway)? That is where the elder-brother-the-bank comes in. He is just like an ATM machine. Ask for it, and you get it. Unless of course you ask for a bigger dough, he wouldn’t usually question back. Despite earning my own money, I still ask for greens from my brother. I guess I am used to it.

10. You can talk shit with him.

Here’s a little open secret: my brother and I carry out most of our conversations while pooping. We believe it has a special privacy in it. No one gets to hear you, and it’s more like our comfort zone during secret sharing. And if you are having problems with your bathroom he’s the perfect man to talk about it!

11. You have an adviser, dear.

Now talking about seeking help you have the best adviser right inside your house. It is not necessary what range of topics you need advise on, he will readily aid you. You need advise in dating? You need advise regarding fashion? Or, maybe what subjects to choose in your high school? You are confused about your career? You are frustrated with your life? Well, your brother is there my dear, and his advises are totally free of cost!

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12. You are happy he bonds with your partner.

This is especially to the girls out there who have elder brothers. While I was dating my then boyfriend (who is my hubby now), the only person I wanted him to bond with was my brother. And oh man was I relieved when both the men started hanging out like buddies! I guess you have that similar butterflies in your stomachs while introducing your partner to your brother, and hope against all the hopes that they bond utimately.

13. Your brother is always in your team.

Sports or not, your brother will always be in your league. He will stand for you, he will always put you first in front of your family or friends, and even he will prefer to have you in his sports team. He will make sure you are at ease regardless of whatever situation you are facing.

14. You have a spoiler alert!

Whether your brother is older than you or younger, he will always spoil you in his own way. Your younger brother will nearly tend to all your needs. He will grumble, but he will complete the task. It’s actually cute when he goes out in the rain to bring you KFC that you suddenly craved for. And it is similar with the elder brothers too. Isn’t it best to have cool brothers in the world?

15. You get a comic relief during tough times.

Your brother is ALWAYS there to bring back your smile. My brother was cracking jokes on my wedding day, before I was leaving for my husband’s house. The reason? So that I don’t cry and spoil my make-up! Only cool bros will come up with something as bizarre as being the comic relief in your life when you least expect it!

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Personally I believe that having the coolest brother in the world is an amazing blessing. No one can take over your brother’s place. He is someone who loves you unconditionally. And like all other proud siblings, I would say, I love you too my brother!

Featured photo credit: ordianry miracles & the crazy 9 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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