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15 Signs You And Your Partner are Compatible

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15 Signs You And Your Partner are Compatible

No two people are perfect match by nature. It’s absolutely normal for you to feel difficult sometimes, especially when you find a number of big differences between you and your partner. But that does not mean you are not compatible with your partner necessarily. There’re also a number of very important factors which determine for how long your relationship can last. Below are the 15 signs for reference for you to see whether you and your partner are compatible.

1. You don’t question the love in your relationship

You know you love your partner, and you know they love you – and there is no doubt in your mind about either of these things. You are secure and happy in your relationship, and even if you are a worrier by nature, you never question how your partner feels about you.

2. You know things about each other no-one else does

From your embarrassing stories to intimate details about your life, sharing secrets can show how compatible you and your partner really are. Honesty is important in a relationship, but actually wishing to tell them secrets shows your partner that you are truly invested in the relationship.

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3. You don’t want to change them

You respect your partner as an individual, and you don’t want to try to change them. Sure, they may talk in their sleep or dress in a way you don’t like, but you love them, and you can deal with it. If you want to change your partner’s personality or appearance, it could mean you and your partner aren’t compatible.

4. You enjoy spending time apart

When you start a great relationship, it can be hard to step away and spend some time alone. If you and your partner hope to be in a long term relationship, however, it is essential that you also enjoy spending time away from your partner. During such time you can see friends and family, or pursue interests of your own. If you love yoga and your partner hates it, try to take a class in your spare time!

5. You share common interests

While it is important to have your own hobbies and interests, compatible partners make the effort to spend time together doing things they both enjoy. Having common ground with a partner helps in long term relationships – from supporting the same team, to cooking together, to sharing a love of the same TV show.

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6. You fight with each other

And you’re not afraid of it! If you tell your partner you disagree with them, they should listen to you and take you seriously. If they still don’t agree with you, that’s totally fine – because it’s just a disagreement, and it won’t change the way you feel about each other.

7. You want to work out serious problems

Often big issues can be raised in long term relationships, including money, religion, or where you both live. Most issues like these can be solved if the partners are compatible and are willing to compromise. It is important to work together until you reach a decision you’re both happy with – and for both people to be happy, it is likely that both have to compromise.

8. Your partner makes you want to be a better person

Although this sounds like a cliché, compatible couples keep pushing each other forward. Whether you are learning how to cook a new dish, or getting a promotion at work, your partner should always have your back and support you, and vice versa.

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9. You can both imagine a future together

While you don’t need to be picking out wedding invites, it is always useful to be on the same page as your partner. Having different interests isn’t a problem; your partner could love travelling and you could aspire to get married and have children, and you can do both. But if your partner doesn’t want to talk about a future together, it might be that you have different expectations from the relationship.

10. You can be yourself around your partner

If you and your partner are compatible, you should be able to truly be yourself whenever you are around them. Whether you feel happy, hyper, sad or angry, you should be able to comfortably express these emotions to your partner, without worrying about the consequences.

11. You’re attracted to each other

While sex obviously isn’t everything, it’s important to be physically intimate with your partner. From holding hands to kissing, compatible couples regularly show each other affection. In other words – there should be a spark, even if it is small!

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12. You try to get along with each other’s families

If you genuinely love your partner’s family, that’s a great sign. Being in love with someone doesn’t always have to mean you love their family, though. And it’s fine if you don’t  – but it isn’t fine if you don’t even try. Most people come with a family, and if your partner is going to be in your life for a long time, their family probably will be too.

13. You keep your relationship fresh

Everyone in the world is ageing, but that doesn’t mean their relationships have to age, too. Often work, having children and other responsibilities can side-line your relationship. These responsibilities are important and shouldn’t be neglected, but put aside some time to focus on your partner. Your relationship should always feel important.

14. You make the effort

Whether you and your partner have been together for 9 months or 9 years, it is always important to make an effort, from cooking classes to a kiss at the end of the day. After a long time together it can feel like these things are no longer necessary, but this could leave your partner unhappy.

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Compatible couples often go the extra mile as it shows their partner they care, and can help to make them feel appreciated.

15. Your friends and family know them well

If you’re in a great relationship, you should be excited to show your partner off around your friends and family. It also shows they are actively involved in your life, which is a great sign for a happy relationship. If the people you are close to haven’t met your partner, ask yourself who’s to blame for this; your partner, you, or the people you are close to?

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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