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15 Life Lessons To Learn Before Entering Your 30s

15 Life Lessons To Learn Before Entering Your 30s

Reaching your thirties comes with a sense of pride and accomplishment. You must have learned a thing or two over the years and these vital lessons will forever prove valuable. Here are fifteen lessons you should have learned before entering your 30s.

1. You learn that education goes beyond having a degree

Well you may think that having a degree and going to an Ivy League School guarantees your success. However it goes beyond that. Education with a degree has a limit, but real life education doesn’t. and this sort of unconventional education could protect, guide and tutor you to becoming the person you can be.

2. You learn that money doesn’t solve all problems

Your real problems in life won’t be solved by money. Yes money offers you a lot of options and luxuries but worthy things such as a happy home, a satisfactory job and great friends do not require money.

3. You learn that time is limited

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.” – Doug Larson

You don’t have all the time in the world as time is passing and an item you cannot hold on to. Yet you can make true value of your time and making sure every second counts.

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4. You learn that people’s opinion about you don’t really matter

Your twenties comes with a roller coaster and through it you start understanding that you have to take control of your life rather than let others dictate your choices and decisions for you.

5. You learn to appreciate your health

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” Bette Midler

As you grow older you understand that you are not invincible. Slowly aches and pains start creeping into your life and thus you start placing more value on your health.

6. You learn to value your family

You may have thought you are infallible all this while but as you grow older you realize your flaws. With this you pay more attention to your family and understand how central they are to your well-being. You can forgive them for the mistakes they made as you are no longer a newcomer to making mistakes.

7. You learn to understand the importance of forgiveness

“Thirty was so strange for me. I’ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.” C.S. Lewis

You start having more reason to let go and allow grievances or hurt to heal as you reach your 30s. You learn that forgiveness is worth the hard work and such responsibility starts with you.

8. You learn that life doesn’t always turn out as planned

“The boy gathers materials for a temple, and then when he is thirty, concludes to build a woodshed.” Henry David Thoreau

In your teens you must have had high expectations. But as you grow older, you understand that with success comes a time clock that may not be what you had planned or desired earlier.

9. You learn that you can’t really change anything by worrying

Worries do not really change your future. You should be more concerned with facing the future with courage and hope.

10. You learn to have a more holistic view of success

By the time you reach your 30s you have a different definition of success and you understand that it is not all about money and being popular. Rather about friendships, family and peace.

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11. You learn that it’s not always about you

You understand reasons why you should not be so selfish and want all the attention upon you. You start learning to shift your focus and perspectives outside of yourself. You learn to adapt and become a part of the bigger picture.

12. You learn to be more mindful of what you say and how you say it

You learn that your words have a lot of power and it is important that you are meticulous with them. A thoughtless comment and a negative remark could put a dent on your character, thus you discover the power in your words.

13. You learn that joy can come from the most unexpected places

As you grow older you start appreciating the simple things more. What never seemed to be fun when you are younger takes a whole new meaning as you reach your 30s.

14. You learn that life becomes more expensive as you grow older

A 50 dollar note in the hand of a 20-year-old has a different value to a 30 year old. As you grow older you start understanding the essence and value of money and why you need to spend it wisely.

15. You learn to have a clearer definition of friendship

As you grow older you learn that friendship shouldn’t be a one-way affair but should affect mutual interests. As you reach your 30s you have to invest your time only on those who are worth investing on.

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As you reach your thirties you should be aware of those hard lessons you have learned over the years.

“Everything I know I learned after I was thirty.” – Georges Clemenceau

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 12, 2019

How to Get Your Kids to Stop Whining All the Time

How to Get Your Kids to Stop Whining All the Time

Whining children are not enjoyable to be around. The sound of incessant whining can be like fingernails on a chalkboard. Nobody wants to listen to whining. There are solutions to help stop the whining. Below are my top 8 tips to get the whining to stop.

1. Address the Issue

To get a child to stop habitually whining, you first need to address the issue with the child.

There are some children who aren’t even aware that they are whining. In their little minds, they are simply voicing their opinions, concerns, and complaints. They don’t realize that tone and delivery matter significantly in communication. You need to talk to them about what whining is and how it affects you.

When you address the issue with the child, ensure that they understand for their age. A two-year-old and a seven-year-old have very different levels of comprehension. Speak to each child on their level. Use words that they will understand.

For example, in talking to your two-year-old, you can sit down on the floor so that you are at their eye level. Explain that whining is not a good behavior and that you are going to enforce consequences. “You are such a good girl, but when you whine that is not good girl behavior. From now on, you will get time out when you whine. If you want to tell me something use your big girl voice without whining and I will listen.”

When you communicate clearly and on their level, they can better understand that their whining needs to stop. Getting them to understand that their whining is a real problem is the first step.

2. Zero Tolerance for Whining

You need to set a standard in your home with whining. It is not allowed in our home. Does that mean it never happens? No, of course it still happens, my children are human and are not perfect. They whine, but when whining occurs, there are consequences.

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They know that if they whine, they will either get a timeout immediately, or they lose check marks from their chart. We use reward charts in our home. Our children earn check marks for positive behaviors and completing chores. When they complete a 50 box check mark chart, they get to cash it in for a toy or something else that they have been wanting. They can get check marks taken away for misbehavior. Whining, especially in public, can result in check marks being taken away.

It is hard to give a child a timeout when you are at the grocery store or out running errands. Taking away check marks is saved for those situations when a timeout is not feasible. My kids take their check marks seriously, because they are hard-earned. With a threat to take away a check mark, usually their behavior changes immediately.

Yes, bribery can be good parenting sometimes.[1]

Whatever methods of reward and consequence that you may have in your home, it must also apply to whining. You can provide a reward for an entire day without whining. Having consequences that occur when whining happens is what will help change the behavior as well. If you only have empty threats by warning them eight times that “if you don’t stop whining, you are going to timeout” is not effective.

The key to getting the behavior to change is having consequences. You ask them only once to stop and provide a consequence in your request. For example, if my son Charlie is whining, I will say something along these lines: “If you don’t stop whining right now, then you are going to get a 5 minute timeout. If you have something to say, please use your big boy voice and say it to me nicely.” They know that I won’t ask a second time. If they whine again, they immediately go to timeout.

3. Enforce Consequences for Whining Using a One Ask Approach

My kids don’t fight with me about going to timeout. They know if they argue or continue whining, then there are consequences for that behavior. That consequence is increased time in their timeout. I usually start with a three-minute or five-minute timeout. If they complain or continue to whine, my response is “one more whine or complaint and it goes to ten-minutes”. It isn’t just an idle threat either. They know I will follow through.

If the complaints continue, time will continue to be added to their time-out. If we make it all the way to a thirty minute timeout, I will send them to their room and they can lay down for a nap for that thirty minutes. It doesn’t often get to that point, but they know that it is possible, because they have all had those thirty-minute timeouts that mean they go to lay down in their room.

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Your ability to get their behavior to stop immediately is tied directly to your enforcement of the ask. If you ask them to do something, you must have a consequence tied to that request. When they don’t do as asked, then you immediately follow through with the consequence. This is enforcing a “one-ask approach.” When you keep asking them repeatedly to stop whining and you don’t have it tied to a consequence, they will keep whining. They don’t have an incentive to change.

You must ask once for them to stop the whining and have it tied to a consequence if they don’t stop. You must enforce the consequence immediately if they continue to whine after that first warning. This is using the one-ask approach.[2]

4. Provide Them with Communication Tools

Some children whine because they don’t have the right tools to communicate. This is especially true for young children who have not developed good communication skills.

A child who is under the age of two may be whining “mommy” all the time when they want milk, or help putting on their shoes, or they want a toy off a high shelf. Teach them the words and how to ask for those things. For example, using a nice tone say to them “you can ask for milk by saying “mommy, milk please”. Have them copy your tone. If they don’t use the same tone, then repeat the tone and phrase more exaggerated in a sweet voice so they better understand.

Providing children with the right tools for communication by teaching them the words to use is helpful in minimizing whining. You must also teach them about tone of voice at the same time. Because the right words are not helpful if they are being whined. Teach the child tone of voice by providing an example to them. Show them with your own voice how to ask nicely.

5. Be a Model of No Whining Allowed

Children are always paying attention to their parent’s behavior. Their parents and caregivers are their role models. This makes it very important for parents and caregivers to model good behavior.

If you are whining and your child witnesses you doing this on a regular basis, then they will learn to do the same behavior. If you model good communication skills and making requests using a pleasant and civil voice, then they will learn to do that instead of whining.

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6. Praise Them for Changing Their Behavior

If you have a child who is a habitual whiner, then you need to focus on their positive behavior. Using the consequences for the whining is helpful and still applies, but you don’t want your child to feel defeated.

You can help make the situation positive by praising their good behavior. This means when they whine and you ask them to stop and they in turn, stop the whining and ask you again in a nice voice, you respond with praise.

The following is an example: “You did such a good job saying that like a big girl and you changed the way you said that to me. Thank you for saying that to me so nicely, I will get you that glass of milk you asked for.”

Praise reinforces their good behavior. The positive feedback from a parent is greatly desired from a child. Be sure to praise your child when they change their whining into a good tone of voice and good communication skills.

7. Let Them Know What Whining Sounds Like

Some children don’t realize how annoying and irritating whining can be. They don’t know what it really sounds like coming from someone else. If they are in the habit of whining, then show them what it sounds like.

Don’t do it when you are in the middle of one of their whining episodes. Wait until things are calmed and you can have a one-on-one heart to heart chat with them in a sincere manner.

Don’t mock them. Instead, you can say something along these lines: “When you whine, it sounds like this….(fill in with an example of a recent whine)…and it makes me not want to listen to you. I need you to work on using your big girl voice by asking like this….” Then, follow it up by converting the whining statement into a nicely said statement using a good tone of voice.

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Providing them with an example and allowing them to hear what they sound like to you helps them to better understand how annoying and irritating whining can be.

8. Assess What the Whine is Really Saying

Some children whine because they are overtired or they are seeking attention. If whining occurs and it is not your child’s typical behavior, then you may need to assess why they are whining.

My son Alex is typically not a whiner. When he begins to whine, we now recognize that it is because he is really tired and needs a nap or needs to go to bed for the night. If we put him in timeout for whining, it seems that his behavior becomes worse because he is overtired. The solution is to get him down for a nap, or put him to bed. In this situation, we don’t give a timeout. Instead, we focus on the task at hand, which is getting our overtired child put into his bed for some much needed sleep.

If your child is whining because they are in need of attention, then take the time to give them the attention that they are craving. They are only little once. A few minutes of your undivided attention can make all the difference in the world to your child.

It’s Up to You as the Parent to Make Change Happen

Children will naturally whine. It is part of development. For younger children, especially toddlers, the tendency for whining is more likely because they lack good communication skills. It is up to parents to correct the behavior by showing children the right ways to communicate.

If the behavior persists, then parents and caregivers should use a reward or consequence system consistently to change the behavior.

Whining doesn’t need to be a part of your home life. You can set the standard first by your own example of not whining and secondly, by having a system in place for handling whining when it does occur.

More About Communication with Children

Featured photo credit: Simon Rae via unsplash.com

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