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15 Easy Ways To Develop Leadership Skills In Your Kids

15 Easy Ways To Develop Leadership Skills In Your Kids

Today’s kids are the leaders of tomorrow.

Every kid has the potential to be a leader in some area of his or her life. Leaders come from a wide variety of backgrounds and have a large range of personalities; some are outgoing and friendly, and others calm and subtle. Many successful leaders have learned their leadership skills from the influence of mentors. As a parent, you will have opportunities every day to be a role model to your children and instill leadership traits in them.

Here are 15 easy ways to develop leadership skills in your kids:

1. Volunteer together

Getting out of the daily grind and spending time serving humanity together will build your relationship with your kids, and expand both of your perspectives on the world. Your children will see firsthand what the needs are in your local community. Tell them about the significant impact they can make in the world by volunteering to help those in need.

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2. Teach communication skills

Show them how you celebrate joyfully with others. Let them see you praise people generously and disagree with others respectfully. Help young kids name their emotions by saying things such as “Are you mad because your brother took your toy?” or “Are you frustrated because your tower tipped over?” Nurture their efforts to communicate with others; being an effective leader requires the ability to build relationships, inspire others, and communicate effectively.

3. Encourage them to blaze their own trail

Your children are not you. Remembering that they are unique individuals and supporting them as they pursue their passions and strengths will help them develop into leaders. Your kids may have completely different interests than yours; encourage your children to pursue the lives of their dreams, not the lives of YOUR dreams. When your kids have unconventional ideas, brainstorm together to help them turn their wishes into action.

4. Nurture an entrepreneurial spirit

Help your kids make posters for their lemonade stand and flyers for their lawn mowing business. Assist them with formulating a sales pitch and let them practice saying it to you.

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5. Set financial goals with them

In the book “Rich Kid Smart Kid,” author Robert Kiyosaki discusses setting financial goals with your children and helping them form a plan to achieve their goals. Kiyosaki states, “The self-esteem that is built when they achieve those goals is priceless.”

6. Surround them with leaders

Jim Rohn, a businessman, said “You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.” Explain the importance of choosing friends wisely. Also, help your kids seek out positive, successful role models. If your child shows interest in a certain subject, find a mentor who is thriving in that area.

7. Listen

Stress the importance of being an excellent listener. Successful leaders have excellent listening skills and seek to understand others.

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8. Promote a “How can I?” rather than an “I can’t” mentality

Promoting a “How can I?” rather than an “I can’t” mentality will boost your kid’s self-esteem and inspire him or her to continue to dream big. When your child is struggling with something and wants to give up, it’s easy to want to jump in and save the day. However, standing back and asking questions, such as, “Do you think there’s another way you could do that?” will help your child use creativity to solve problems, a very important skill for a successful life.

9. Encourage perseverance

It’s hard to watch your kid have his heart broken by his first crush, lose a championship game, or fail a test. But those are the teachable moments that can impact your child for life. One of the best skills you can teach your child is the ability to regroup and move forward.

10. Teach negotiation skills

Give them opportunities to negotiate with others for win-win solutions, starting at home.

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11. Model integrity and accountability

Show them how you build others up with your words and actions. Keep your word. Be there for others and teach your kids to do the same. And as difficult as it can be, do your best to take the high road when you are wronged by others. Point out to your kids the importance of admitting their mistakes.

12. Promote teamwork

Participation in team activities gives kids opportunities to develop valuable traits that will benefit them their whole lives. Teamwork helps kids learn to cooperate with others, support their teammates, aim toward a common goal, control their emotions, communicate effectively, and do their share of work when others are relying on them.

14. Give them choices

Offer young kids the option of choosing between items such as two healthy snacks or two sippy cups. As your kids get older, gradually give options requiring more thought. Giving your kids choices helps them feel they’re in control of situations, and fosters their decision-making capabilities, which helps them build confidence.

15. Emphasize the value of reading

Reading opens kids’ minds to new possibilities and expands their world.

Featured photo credit: Summerfied Woman Girl via pixabay.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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