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15 Easy Ways To Develop Leadership Skills In Your Kids

15 Easy Ways To Develop Leadership Skills In Your Kids

Today’s kids are the leaders of tomorrow.

Every kid has the potential to be a leader in some area of his or her life. Leaders come from a wide variety of backgrounds and have a large range of personalities; some are outgoing and friendly, and others calm and subtle. Many successful leaders have learned their leadership skills from the influence of mentors. As a parent, you will have opportunities every day to be a role model to your children and instill leadership traits in them.

Here are 15 easy ways to develop leadership skills in your kids:

1. Volunteer together

Getting out of the daily grind and spending time serving humanity together will build your relationship with your kids, and expand both of your perspectives on the world. Your children will see firsthand what the needs are in your local community. Tell them about the significant impact they can make in the world by volunteering to help those in need.

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2. Teach communication skills

Show them how you celebrate joyfully with others. Let them see you praise people generously and disagree with others respectfully. Help young kids name their emotions by saying things such as “Are you mad because your brother took your toy?” or “Are you frustrated because your tower tipped over?” Nurture their efforts to communicate with others; being an effective leader requires the ability to build relationships, inspire others, and communicate effectively.

3. Encourage them to blaze their own trail

Your children are not you. Remembering that they are unique individuals and supporting them as they pursue their passions and strengths will help them develop into leaders. Your kids may have completely different interests than yours; encourage your children to pursue the lives of their dreams, not the lives of YOUR dreams. When your kids have unconventional ideas, brainstorm together to help them turn their wishes into action.

4. Nurture an entrepreneurial spirit

Help your kids make posters for their lemonade stand and flyers for their lawn mowing business. Assist them with formulating a sales pitch and let them practice saying it to you.

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5. Set financial goals with them

In the book “Rich Kid Smart Kid,” author Robert Kiyosaki discusses setting financial goals with your children and helping them form a plan to achieve their goals. Kiyosaki states, “The self-esteem that is built when they achieve those goals is priceless.”

6. Surround them with leaders

Jim Rohn, a businessman, said “You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.” Explain the importance of choosing friends wisely. Also, help your kids seek out positive, successful role models. If your child shows interest in a certain subject, find a mentor who is thriving in that area.

7. Listen

Stress the importance of being an excellent listener. Successful leaders have excellent listening skills and seek to understand others.

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8. Promote a “How can I?” rather than an “I can’t” mentality

Promoting a “How can I?” rather than an “I can’t” mentality will boost your kid’s self-esteem and inspire him or her to continue to dream big. When your child is struggling with something and wants to give up, it’s easy to want to jump in and save the day. However, standing back and asking questions, such as, “Do you think there’s another way you could do that?” will help your child use creativity to solve problems, a very important skill for a successful life.

9. Encourage perseverance

It’s hard to watch your kid have his heart broken by his first crush, lose a championship game, or fail a test. But those are the teachable moments that can impact your child for life. One of the best skills you can teach your child is the ability to regroup and move forward.

10. Teach negotiation skills

Give them opportunities to negotiate with others for win-win solutions, starting at home.

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11. Model integrity and accountability

Show them how you build others up with your words and actions. Keep your word. Be there for others and teach your kids to do the same. And as difficult as it can be, do your best to take the high road when you are wronged by others. Point out to your kids the importance of admitting their mistakes.

12. Promote teamwork

Participation in team activities gives kids opportunities to develop valuable traits that will benefit them their whole lives. Teamwork helps kids learn to cooperate with others, support their teammates, aim toward a common goal, control their emotions, communicate effectively, and do their share of work when others are relying on them.

14. Give them choices

Offer young kids the option of choosing between items such as two healthy snacks or two sippy cups. As your kids get older, gradually give options requiring more thought. Giving your kids choices helps them feel they’re in control of situations, and fosters their decision-making capabilities, which helps them build confidence.

15. Emphasize the value of reading

Reading opens kids’ minds to new possibilities and expands their world.

Featured photo credit: Summerfied Woman Girl via pixabay.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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