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15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

In today’s 100 mile and hour whirlwind lives of ours it is harder than ever to meet the right person.  With the rise of speed dating events and singles nights it is clear to see that we are looking for all the help we can get with finding ‘the one’.  When time is limited and you are dealing with everyday stresses it’s hard to put your dating cap on and be on your top form, that’s why when you do get the chance you’ve got to make sure you make an impression as it may be your only chance to impress Mr. or Mrs. right.

Some guidance on dating wouldn’t go a miss I’m sure, so have a read on to see how you can use my advice to make a good impression and maybe a second date. Behold my friends……the 15 do’s and don’ts when dating.

1. DO Turn up on time.

Imagine that for every minute you are delayed your date will be thinking about how the possibility of them being stood up.  You’ll have left them in the restaurant or bar looking at their watch feeling self-conscious about everyone watching them sitting there alone.

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    2. Don’t talk about how great you are.

    How off-putting! Your date does not, I repeat NOT want to hear all about you.  They want to be listened to, respected and engaged with.  There will be plenty of time for them get to know you, just wait your turn and reveal more about you when the time calls for it.

    shh

      3. DO be interested.

      If you’re meeting for the first time it’s likely you’ll find out a lot about your date that you never knew.  Some of it may be of interest to you, some not, but act like you are interested.  Think of the effort they have made to tell you things that are important to them and show some interest in what they are saying.  Which leads me to my next point.

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        4. Don’t keep checking your phone.

        This shows total lack of interest and disrespect to the conversation. If you check your phone you are clearly saying that your phone is more important than the person sitting opposite you.  Prepare to get the bus home.

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          5. DO Listen more.

          We all like the sound of our own voice but when you are getting to know someone and the relationship is in it’s raw phase then quieten and take in what has been said.  Speak less and show your interest by listening more.

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            6. Don’t be under-dressed.

            Being overdressed is far better than turning up looking a scruff.  Your date will appreciate the effort you made and if they haven’t made as much of an effort then they will aim to the next time you meet up.

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              7. DO ask more questions.

              That’s right by now you are so interested in what they are saying that you want to know more. Listen, take in the information and ask questions to prove that what you have heard is computing.

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                8. Don’t try and be perfect.

                No one is perfect and no one is looking for Mr or Mrs perfect. No relationship is built on perfection so no need to worry if your date doesn’t seem too impressed with your little quirks or silly habits. Your imperfection is what makes you perfect.

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                  9. DO Make eye contact.

                  People will assess honesty through eye contact.  The more you look away when you are speaking the more dishonest you will seem.  You don’t need to stare your date out with your lovers eyes, just know that a better connection will be made if you keep your focus on them.

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                    10. Don’t spend too long talking about past relationships.

                    This subject is best mentioned and not elaborated on.  Nobody wants to hear how much you loved your ex and how wonderful your life was with them.  If you find yourself in the middle of this conversation I suggest you moonwalk out the bar and get a taxi home.

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                      11. DO be honest.

                      The relationship between you two will start off in the best possible way if you are totally honest with your date.  This is the way I see it. You should always be proud of expressing exactly who you are and what you stand for and if it doesn’t sit well with them then you know that they aren’t the right person for you.

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                        12. Don’t think too far ahead

                        Enjoy the moment! Forget what might happen, what could happen and all the variables and just enjoy your date, focus on connecting and being happy in the moment.

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                          13.Do offer to pay for the bill.

                          Guys find it attractive if a lady shows intention of paying for the bill.  It’s sexy, and shows that she is able to look after herself, but guys if you are reading this do not let the lady pay on the first date.  Take control of the payment as the ladies like the same quality in us.

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                            14. Don’t use cheesy lines.

                            You’re not thirteen years old any more so don’t even go there.  Cheesy lines should be left to teenagers, movies and people that have no interest in ever dating again. Not wise and not cool, enough said on that one.

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                              15. Do throw in a compliment or two.

                              We all love a compliment and I suggest that throwing one in to the conversation will only be a positive move. Keep it simple, keep it clean and say it like you mean it, not just because you are returning a compliment.

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                                Now go and get working my good people and may cupid be looking down on you.  Adios!

                                Featured photo credit: Holding hands couple via shutterstock.com

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                                Last Updated on November 15, 2018

                                Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

                                Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

                                What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

                                As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

                                The Success Mindset

                                Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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                                The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

                                The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

                                The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

                                How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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                                How To Create a Success Mindset

                                People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

                                1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

                                How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

                                A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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                                There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

                                2. Look For The Successes

                                It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

                                3. Eliminate Negativity

                                You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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                                When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

                                4. Create a Vision

                                Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

                                If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

                                An Inspirational Story…

                                For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

                                What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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