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15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

In today’s 100 mile and hour whirlwind lives of ours it is harder than ever to meet the right person.  With the rise of speed dating events and singles nights it is clear to see that we are looking for all the help we can get with finding ‘the one’.  When time is limited and you are dealing with everyday stresses it’s hard to put your dating cap on and be on your top form, that’s why when you do get the chance you’ve got to make sure you make an impression as it may be your only chance to impress Mr. or Mrs. right.

Some guidance on dating wouldn’t go a miss I’m sure, so have a read on to see how you can use my advice to make a good impression and maybe a second date. Behold my friends……the 15 do’s and don’ts when dating.

1. DO Turn up on time.

Imagine that for every minute you are delayed your date will be thinking about how the possibility of them being stood up.  You’ll have left them in the restaurant or bar looking at their watch feeling self-conscious about everyone watching them sitting there alone.

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    2. Don’t talk about how great you are.

    How off-putting! Your date does not, I repeat NOT want to hear all about you.  They want to be listened to, respected and engaged with.  There will be plenty of time for them get to know you, just wait your turn and reveal more about you when the time calls for it.

    shh

      3. DO be interested.

      If you’re meeting for the first time it’s likely you’ll find out a lot about your date that you never knew.  Some of it may be of interest to you, some not, but act like you are interested.  Think of the effort they have made to tell you things that are important to them and show some interest in what they are saying.  Which leads me to my next point.

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        4. Don’t keep checking your phone.

        This shows total lack of interest and disrespect to the conversation. If you check your phone you are clearly saying that your phone is more important than the person sitting opposite you.  Prepare to get the bus home.

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          5. DO Listen more.

          We all like the sound of our own voice but when you are getting to know someone and the relationship is in it’s raw phase then quieten and take in what has been said.  Speak less and show your interest by listening more.

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            6. Don’t be under-dressed.

            Being overdressed is far better than turning up looking a scruff.  Your date will appreciate the effort you made and if they haven’t made as much of an effort then they will aim to the next time you meet up.

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              7. DO ask more questions.

              That’s right by now you are so interested in what they are saying that you want to know more. Listen, take in the information and ask questions to prove that what you have heard is computing.

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                8. Don’t try and be perfect.

                No one is perfect and no one is looking for Mr or Mrs perfect. No relationship is built on perfection so no need to worry if your date doesn’t seem too impressed with your little quirks or silly habits. Your imperfection is what makes you perfect.

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                  9. DO Make eye contact.

                  People will assess honesty through eye contact.  The more you look away when you are speaking the more dishonest you will seem.  You don’t need to stare your date out with your lovers eyes, just know that a better connection will be made if you keep your focus on them.

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                    10. Don’t spend too long talking about past relationships.

                    This subject is best mentioned and not elaborated on.  Nobody wants to hear how much you loved your ex and how wonderful your life was with them.  If you find yourself in the middle of this conversation I suggest you moonwalk out the bar and get a taxi home.

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                      11. DO be honest.

                      The relationship between you two will start off in the best possible way if you are totally honest with your date.  This is the way I see it. You should always be proud of expressing exactly who you are and what you stand for and if it doesn’t sit well with them then you know that they aren’t the right person for you.

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                        12. Don’t think too far ahead

                        Enjoy the moment! Forget what might happen, what could happen and all the variables and just enjoy your date, focus on connecting and being happy in the moment.

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                          13.Do offer to pay for the bill.

                          Guys find it attractive if a lady shows intention of paying for the bill.  It’s sexy, and shows that she is able to look after herself, but guys if you are reading this do not let the lady pay on the first date.  Take control of the payment as the ladies like the same quality in us.

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                            14. Don’t use cheesy lines.

                            You’re not thirteen years old any more so don’t even go there.  Cheesy lines should be left to teenagers, movies and people that have no interest in ever dating again. Not wise and not cool, enough said on that one.

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                              15. Do throw in a compliment or two.

                              We all love a compliment and I suggest that throwing one in to the conversation will only be a positive move. Keep it simple, keep it clean and say it like you mean it, not just because you are returning a compliment.

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                                Now go and get working my good people and may cupid be looking down on you.  Adios!

                                Featured photo credit: Holding hands couple via shutterstock.com

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                                Last Updated on September 17, 2018

                                7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

                                7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

                                Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

                                Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

                                When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

                                Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

                                1. You’re depressed about your home life.

                                No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

                                However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

                                If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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                                When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

                                You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

                                2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

                                Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

                                If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

                                You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

                                If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

                                3. You can’t stop snooping.

                                Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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                                I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

                                Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

                                So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

                                It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

                                If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

                                4. You’re afraid of commitment.

                                If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

                                Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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                                No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

                                If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

                                Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

                                5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

                                If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

                                Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

                                Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

                                Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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                                If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

                                6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

                                When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

                                When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

                                If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

                                7. You chase past feelings.

                                It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

                                You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

                                When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

                                Final thoughts

                                If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

                                Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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