Advertising
Advertising

15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating

In today’s 100 mile and hour whirlwind lives of ours it is harder than ever to meet the right person.  With the rise of speed dating events and singles nights it is clear to see that we are looking for all the help we can get with finding ‘the one’.  When time is limited and you are dealing with everyday stresses it’s hard to put your dating cap on and be on your top form, that’s why when you do get the chance you’ve got to make sure you make an impression as it may be your only chance to impress Mr. or Mrs. right.

Some guidance on dating wouldn’t go a miss I’m sure, so have a read on to see how you can use my advice to make a good impression and maybe a second date. Behold my friends……the 15 do’s and don’ts when dating.

1. DO Turn up on time.

Imagine that for every minute you are delayed your date will be thinking about how the possibility of them being stood up.  You’ll have left them in the restaurant or bar looking at their watch feeling self-conscious about everyone watching them sitting there alone.

1

    2. Don’t talk about how great you are.

    How off-putting! Your date does not, I repeat NOT want to hear all about you.  They want to be listened to, respected and engaged with.  There will be plenty of time for them get to know you, just wait your turn and reveal more about you when the time calls for it.

    shh

      3. DO be interested.

      If you’re meeting for the first time it’s likely you’ll find out a lot about your date that you never knew.  Some of it may be of interest to you, some not, but act like you are interested.  Think of the effort they have made to tell you things that are important to them and show some interest in what they are saying.  Which leads me to my next point.

      Advertising

      3

        4. Don’t keep checking your phone.

        This shows total lack of interest and disrespect to the conversation. If you check your phone you are clearly saying that your phone is more important than the person sitting opposite you.  Prepare to get the bus home.

        4

          5. DO Listen more.

          We all like the sound of our own voice but when you are getting to know someone and the relationship is in it’s raw phase then quieten and take in what has been said.  Speak less and show your interest by listening more.

          5

            6. Don’t be under-dressed.

            Being overdressed is far better than turning up looking a scruff.  Your date will appreciate the effort you made and if they haven’t made as much of an effort then they will aim to the next time you meet up.

            Advertising

            6

              7. DO ask more questions.

              That’s right by now you are so interested in what they are saying that you want to know more. Listen, take in the information and ask questions to prove that what you have heard is computing.

              7

                8. Don’t try and be perfect.

                No one is perfect and no one is looking for Mr or Mrs perfect. No relationship is built on perfection so no need to worry if your date doesn’t seem too impressed with your little quirks or silly habits. Your imperfection is what makes you perfect.

                8

                  9. DO Make eye contact.

                  People will assess honesty through eye contact.  The more you look away when you are speaking the more dishonest you will seem.  You don’t need to stare your date out with your lovers eyes, just know that a better connection will be made if you keep your focus on them.

                  9

                    10. Don’t spend too long talking about past relationships.

                    This subject is best mentioned and not elaborated on.  Nobody wants to hear how much you loved your ex and how wonderful your life was with them.  If you find yourself in the middle of this conversation I suggest you moonwalk out the bar and get a taxi home.

                    Advertising

                    10

                      11. DO be honest.

                      The relationship between you two will start off in the best possible way if you are totally honest with your date.  This is the way I see it. You should always be proud of expressing exactly who you are and what you stand for and if it doesn’t sit well with them then you know that they aren’t the right person for you.

                      11

                        12. Don’t think too far ahead

                        Enjoy the moment! Forget what might happen, what could happen and all the variables and just enjoy your date, focus on connecting and being happy in the moment.

                        12

                          13.Do offer to pay for the bill.

                          Guys find it attractive if a lady shows intention of paying for the bill.  It’s sexy, and shows that she is able to look after herself, but guys if you are reading this do not let the lady pay on the first date.  Take control of the payment as the ladies like the same quality in us.

                          Advertising

                          13

                            14. Don’t use cheesy lines.

                            You’re not thirteen years old any more so don’t even go there.  Cheesy lines should be left to teenagers, movies and people that have no interest in ever dating again. Not wise and not cool, enough said on that one.

                            14

                              15. Do throw in a compliment or two.

                              We all love a compliment and I suggest that throwing one in to the conversation will only be a positive move. Keep it simple, keep it clean and say it like you mean it, not just because you are returning a compliment.

                              15

                                Now go and get working my good people and may cupid be looking down on you.  Adios!

                                Featured photo credit: Holding hands couple via shutterstock.com

                                More by this author

                                5 things you are NOT doing which will supercharge your dating potential 15 Do’s and Don’ts When Dating simple effective office workouts 10 Simple Workouts You Can Do In Office get your energy back 5 Sources Of Fatigue And How To Fight Against Them stay energized 15 Things You Can Do To Sustain Energy All Day

                                Trending in Communication

                                1 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now 2 How to Use the 5 Minute Journal to Invest in Your Happiness 3 What’s the Purpose of Life? A Guide to Live with Meaning 4 Why Happiness is a Choice (And a Smart One to Make) 5 How to Survive a Midlife Crisis (The Definitive Guide for Men)

                                Read Next

                                Advertising
                                Advertising
                                Advertising

                                Last Updated on January 16, 2020

                                12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

                                12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

                                The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

                                However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

                                “Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

                                Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

                                1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

                                When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

                                Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

                                2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

                                That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

                                Advertising

                                Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

                                3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

                                If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

                                For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

                                People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

                                This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

                                4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

                                Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

                                Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

                                Advertising

                                Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

                                Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

                                “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

                                5. Crack a smile.

                                If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

                                Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

                                6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

                                Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

                                And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

                                Advertising

                                7. Groom yourself.

                                This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

                                A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

                                8. Dress nicely.

                                Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

                                While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

                                9. Do activities you enjoy.

                                Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

                                You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

                                10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

                                Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

                                Advertising

                                Why?

                                Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

                                Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

                                Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

                                11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

                                Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

                                Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

                                12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

                                Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

                                The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

                                Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

                                Reference

                                Read Next