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15 Don’ts that Happy Couples Follow

15 Don’ts that Happy Couples Follow

A happy relationship is a myth.Truth is that to keep the ball running is painstakingly tough.The facade behind the Facebook posts,pictureuploads and smiling faces is something no one else knows except the two people involved in the ongoing tussle. All couples go through some hair-ripping and teeth clenching moments, but there are some happy couples who focus on some particular Don’ts.

Yes you heard it right, Don’ts and not Do’s.

These are some particular Don’ts that happy couples follow to keep the spark alive,each day.

1. They don’t keep count.

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    Happy couples never keep count of their duties.They are oblivious to their daily chores yet they are not stickler for rules. The once in a while slip ups are obvious and the other person lets it off. If one is watching the sports telecast, the other quietly does the laundry even when it’s not her turn. Likewise, if she’s late from work, she will be greeted by the warm smell of a freshly cooked dinner.

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    2. They don’t use the words “I or Me”.

    Happy couples love to engage in talk that covers both of them. When relating their experiences to people about certain things, they use the words “We” and “us” rather “I”, “me” or “myself”.Their togetherness quotient is reflected by the sheer pride they have while discussing their collective thoughts.There are opinions that may differ at times,but then they learn to agree to disagree and enjoy the differences.

    3. They don’t sleep over it.

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      However small the issue at hand is, happy couples don’t sleep over their fights.Rather than taking the problem to bed and prolonging it till next morning,they talk over it.Of course if one is angry they do need a breathing time to cool down and reflect on the harshness of their voices but then they eventually come around.

      4. They don’t count their chickens before they hatch.

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        Happy couples don’t expect all of their hopes to be fulfilled.They realize that they are in charge of their own happiness and not the other person.The wife realizes that it is her dream to go backpacking for the holidays not her husband’s so she saves up for it.The husband knows that he wants to see the Grand Prix but doesn’t want to when his wife is expecting. They realize that dreams are meant to be there, some come true, others don’t.

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        5. They don’t think about the problem, they talk.

        Lots of problems go unresolved when the couple keeps it inside.Most of the times the pent up is to avoid hurting the other person or to over aggravate the fight. Little do people realize that this results in tumultuous outcomes. Happy couples don’t keep their hassles inside, they vent it out.Of course the result might not always be great and may hurt the other person, but for the sake of a fruitful relationship,it’s vital.

        6. They don’t argue, they discuss.

        Fights are an inevitable part of a relationship and we know that. If you are not fighting there must be something wrong with the way you two behave with each other. Tiny differences are allowed for the loving make up sessions that follow. Happy couples have a trend of keeping it low when they fight, instead of arguing with each other, they reason and see the other side of the story.Of course at times it’s difficult to listen to the other person’s outbursts but they still do.

        7. They don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.

        Happy couples stay away from the melodrama and underplay their issues.They learn eventually to avoid noticing the mistakes that their partner has made and focus on the positives sides.The wife ignores that her husband missed helping her with the laundry as he was talking with his friend over the phone.The husband eats the half baked cake anyways as he knows the wife had too much work on her hands.

        8. They don’t cheat,they express honestly.

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          Life is too short for lies especially with the person with whom you are supposed to grow old with. Sharing a roof, they are going to find out about it eventually.Happy couples keep the cheating stuff off the table.They don’t cheat their partner in anything, may it involve a mere phone call or planning for a trip. Being blatant is way better than lying only to break your promise at a later date. At the unfortunate event of the marriage not going anywhere, they tell their partners up front rather than date another person simultaneously.

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          9. They don’t procrastinate.

          They deal with things or chores before they get too ugly. Whether it is about doing the dishes, booking the movie tickets, planning for a trip or discussing about the expenses, they prefer to do it right away when the thought is fresh in their minds. Also delaying the tasks at hand might be offending to the other person.

          10. They don’t play the family card.

          Happy couples have two simple rules concerning family. They don’t drag the family into fights and they don’t compare one another to their family members. Fights are concerning both and they remain confined within the four walls of the room. Happy couple’s families are blissfully unaware of the problems. Neither do they use statements like “Why don’t you cook the food the way my mother does?”.

          11. They don’t use the self-pity trick.

          Happy couples recognize that self pity and self loathing gets you nowhere. Instead you are despised by the other person.In the event of a fight, happy couples never say things like “You are so cruel to me” or “”What did I do to deserve this?”. At times their emotions get the better of them, but they still try to keep it subtle by changing the topic or asking the other person calmly what made them react this way.

          12. They don’t cling on,they give space.

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            Happy couples love doing things together that they enjoy. But they recognize that they both need individual moments of glory, too. There are some things that you enjoy that they other person doesn’t. Instead of clinging on and coaxing the other person to do what you want, you have to encourage your partner to do what they want.People in a happy relationship don’t give up their dreams, neither do they let the other person forget theirs.

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            13. They don’t always have their way.

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              Happy couples recognize that in relationships sometimes you need to think more about the other person than about yourself. They focus on giving rather than receiving. As a result the other person always feels comforted that his or her interests and thoughts matter.

              14. They don’t find life OK, they find it awesome.

              Happy couples always have something to look forward to .Of course life does get monotonous at times but they pep it up with surprises, vacations and friday nights.When questioned by others how life in general is they always say “It’s Rocking”.

              15. They don’t stop trying.

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                Everyone goes through a rough patch but happy couples really know how to pull it all together.Maybe they are having endless discussions without reaching a solution.Maybe they are not agreeing on the new school that their daughter is about to join. Or maybe their work lifes are driving them crazy. But they never stop trying to find compromises.

                Lastly, happy couples are normal couples. They are not celebrities whose everyday life is a movie. Happy couples are the ones who survive the tiring days, the endless house work,the non stop cooking sessions, the hectic weekdays and the lazy weekends.While they are running to their workplaces, doing the dishes, vacuuming the house and refueling the car, they still find time to celebrate their love.

                Featured photo credit: Happy Couple via i.huffpost.com

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                Last Updated on March 30, 2020

                12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

                12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

                Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they are feeling lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

                While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

                What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

                Here are 12 things to remember when you’re feeling lost in life:

                1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

                The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

                However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

                We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

                Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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                2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

                You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

                Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

                Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

                3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

                Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

                Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

                Take a look at the 10 Things That Happen When You Start to Enjoy Being Alone.

                4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

                Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

                No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react: How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

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                5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

                Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

                Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

                6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

                Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

                Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

                Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

                7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

                Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

                Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

                And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

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                8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

                When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

                Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

                9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

                Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

                Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

                Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

                10. Journal During This Time

                Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

                This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

                11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

                It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

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                The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

                Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

                12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

                The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

                Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

                When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

                Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

                Final Thoughts

                Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

                Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

                More Tips About Finding Yourself

                Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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