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14 Quotes on Why Solitude is Good and You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of It

14 Quotes on Why Solitude is Good and You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of It

Imagine it’s lunch time. You are very hungry but your colleagues are still having a discussion in the meeting room. You tried to wait but you can’t stand it any longer. So you rush to the nearby restaurant. It’s crowded with white-collar workers in groups–talking and laughing. But you? You are all alone. Reluctantly, you go in.

After you’ve ordered your meal, you immediately take out your smartphone and check your Facebook, play games and watch videos. You act like normal, but you keep your head down and pray that no one looks at you. The truth is, you are just pretending. Yes, pretending to be busy to hide your embarrassment at being a solo diner.

That’s the problem with the current society. Being alone means you are weird; you are anti-social; you don’t have friends; you are pitiful; or, even worse, you have a mental illness.

To avoid all those unpleasant labels, Japan’s Moomin House Cafe prepares fake company for their solo diners by bringing a stuffed animal to accompany them.

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To me, this is a bad idea. It re-emphasizes the idea that being alone is an issue and should be avoided. The truth is that there is nothing wrong with being solo. The fact is, solitude is beneficial and essential for your well-being.

Here are 14 quotes that show the true meaning and value of solitude. Let’s not be ashamed or nervous about it, but embrace it more openly.

“Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines.” -Paul Brunton

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” -Bell Hooks

“Solitude is the place of purification.” -Martin Buber

“This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

“I restore myself when I’m alone.” -Marilyn Monroe

“The best part about being alone is that you really don’t have to answer to anybody. You do what you want.” -Justin Timberlake

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and–in spite of True Romance magazines–we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely–at least, not all the time–but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” -Hunter S. Thompson

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson

“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death – ourselves.” -Eda LeShan

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” -Arthur Schopenhauer

“You’re only lonely if you’re not there for you.” -Phil McGraw

“Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.” -Alice Koller

“Solitude is the soul’s holiday, an opportunity to stop doing for others and to surprise and delight ourselves instead.” -Katrina Kenison

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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