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14 Inspiring Quotes from Best-selling Book “Tuesdays with Morrie”

14 Inspiring Quotes from Best-selling Book “Tuesdays with Morrie”

In a world of hustle and bustle, it’s sad that we have to wait for the harsher realities in life to jolt us awake.  In the end, all the worldly possessions we strive for or the status we all reach for mean nothing.  Have you loved and did you love?  That’s all that matters in the end. Here are 14 inspiring quotes  about life from Mitch Albom’s beloved book Tuesdays with Morrie.

1.  “Don’t let go too soon, but don’t hold on too long.”

Mourning has to happen, we have to honor those that we lose by really sinking into that feeling of loss.  But we are amiss when we spend too much time there. Use pain and heartache to catapult you to new purposes and look around at what’s left of living. Look at it with a new-found perspective.  Don’t be defined by your losses.  Let your losses define your motivation.

2.  “Love each other or perish.”

A life without love is like a plant without water, it slowly deteriorates.  Love brings life, it brings motivation and inspiration.  Love brings with it confidence and adventure.  Love makes life come alive and without it we are wilting away day by day.  Start planting the seeds by putting love out there and watch how the more love you share, the more comes back to you.

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3.  “What if today were my last day on earth?”

Nothing teaches gratitude as much as thoughts about how precious time is.  Truly the best way to go forth in life is to appreciate how precious it is to be alive.  When we think of it this way, we are more purposeful with how we spend our time and what goals we give ourselves.

4.   “Love is the only rational act.”

We try to fight love but we are fighting for make believe walls and holding on to insecurities.  Let it all go and just let love out.   Stop letting your life be ruled by anything more than what’s in your heart.

5.   “Love always wins.”

Resistance and friction happens when we’re fighting to protect the little bubble of a world we live in, we’re hoarding all the wrong things in this bubble.  We want to be right.  We want to have pride.  We want the wrong things.  Love is the only solution to conflict. Love heals all wounds.

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6.   “Find someone to share your heart, give to your community, be at peace with yourself, try to be as human as you can be.”

Don’t isolate.  Get in the world and interact with it.   When it seems that nothing is going your way think about what vibes you give out to the universe.  Usually what you send out is what comes back to you.  Get comfortable with people and with giving of your heart.  The art of a big heart takes practice.  The more you share your heart, the more you feel it will be reciprocated.  Then you start to get the confidence to try harder.  Soon you become good at it with practice and more of it comes back to you.

7.   “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

We all spend so much time with our energies everywhere but in our hearts.  All searching for happiness and acceptance when it’s within us, right with us all along.  Isn’t it funny that when we figure this out, everything else seems to fall into place?

8.   “If you really want it, then you’ll make your dream happen.”

Sometimes we don’t know what we really want.  Sometimes pain finally forces us to look inside and figure it out.  In pain, good things happen, if you let it.  Find out who you are and start crafting the dream that’s inside of you.  Be the better person you’re meant to become.  Once you know what you want and it’s clear it and you can see it, you can move mountains to make things happen.

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9.    “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Everyone needs to find something inside that drives them, that they’re willing to push themselves through tough times.  Don’t wait for a tragedy to happen or a tragic loss to happen for you to realize that you need to find your purpose.  Take the time to find out what it is, do the work to find out who you are and what you want.

10.  “Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.”

Things come and go.  Life seems so much more stressful with more stuff.  Think about how our life has evolved even over the last 10 years.  The rise of consumerism has given way to so much clutter in our lives.  We all each have 10 pairs of shoes for one season. Eight different versions of a jackets for one season.  A raincoat, a workout coat, a nice dressy coat-okay maybe one in black and one in red, a long one, a short one, a leather one.  Remember when it was so easy to keep up with one?  So we’ve created a lot of stress in our lives trying to keep up with our possessions.  This stress takes away from the quality time we can be spending with people.  Life is about relationships, not things.

11.  “Accept who you are; and revel in it.”

The biggest lesson is life is that the sooner you know how to be as authentic to your self as possible is when you really come alive.  Be no one else but as you as you can be.

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12.  “Everyone knows they’re going to die but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.”

The best thing is to not live life in denial.  There is as bit of pressure in life to make it count.  Don’t be complacent about life.  Be aware and try to make something matter in the time you are here.  If you don’t know where to start, it usually good to start with giving of yourself and finding out where that takes you.

13.  “Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.”

Don’t live a life of regret.  Don’t linger in the wrongs.  Linger in making things right and moving from there.  Say sorry even when you don’t want to, the act of saying it will release you.  Hanging on to wrongs does nothing for you.  Move forward.

14.  “Without love, we are birds with broken wings.”

In order to fly we need to be intact.  Love is what holds us together and keeps us up in the air soaring with the wind blowing in our faces feeling alive.

Featured photo credit: By Mitch Albom and Jeffrey Hatcher via google.com

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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