Advertising
Advertising

13 Things I Want To Tell The Single And Unhappy Ones

13 Things I Want To Tell The Single And Unhappy Ones

When did being single become some sort of disease that everyone wants to get rid of? Why does everyone think that being in a relationship or married is superior to being alone? Those are some questions you might want to think about. It’s all about how you look at it. So if you’re single and unhappy, here are 13 things I want to tell you to cheer you up:

1. Things can change. And they will.

I don’t care if you’ve been single for several decades or several days. It can be easy to get down on yourself over the “odds” finding that perfect partner. Don’t let yourself buy into the ridiculous myths like “It’s more likely to get abducted by an alien than it is to get married after 40.” Remember, anything and everything is possible. You just need to get out of your own way and start believing that.

2. Have high standards. Don’t just date someone because you don’t want to be alone.

I can’t tell you how many people I know who just “settle” because they hate being alone. If that’s you, why do you hate being alone so much? Don’t you like yourself? You should! You should love being alone because you’re such a cool person. You need to have the mindset that anyone who doesn’t want you is a fool and you wouldn’t want them anyway.

Advertising

3. Use this time to learn about yourself.

Often, people use being with others as an escape—an escape from themselves. If you’re with others, then the focus is on them, not you. But how well do you really know yourself? Being single is a precious time that can be used to really get to know and love yourself. So spend the time getting to know you. Discover new things. Work on personal growth.

4. Don’t chase anyone.

And I mean it. Don’t even think about it! If they have to be chased, then they don’t want you. And if they don’t want you, then you shouldn’t want them (see #2). As Maya Angelou says, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” If someone is showing you that they would rather not date you, believe them. Shrug your shoulders and move on. It’s their loss, not yours. No, really—it is.

5. Work on making yourself the kind of person you would want to date.

Jerry McGuire had it wrong. Don’t look for someone to “complete you.” If you need someone to complete you, then you aren’t whole to begin with. Re-read #2 and #3 as often as you need to in order to get that lesson. You want someone to think “Wow! This person is dating ME?!?! I’m the luckiest guy/girl on the planet!” And the right person will.

Advertising

6. Learn to love your own company.

You’re awesome! You’re cool! If you don’t believe me, then you are wrong. Everyone is perfect in their own way. The problem is, many people—especially single people—don’t believe it. It’s okay to spend a Saturday night alone with yourself and a movie and a glass of wine. As you do, you should say to yourself what my mother always says, “I wonder what the peasants are doing?” In other words, the “peasants” are anyone who’s not you—because you’re having such a good time by yourself that you don’t need anyone else.

7. There are still good people out there.

Again, don’t buy into the myths that “all the good ones are taken.” Hogwash! You’re not taken, right? Well, I rest my case! If you’re single and available, then not all the good ones are taken. So you just need to get out of your own head and stop believing those lies that society tells you. There are plenty of good eligible singles out there for you to match up with.

8. Uncertainty breeds opportunity.

One of the things that singles don’t like is that they can’t predict the future. Or control it. They think, “Will I be alone forever? Will I be an old maid? Where should I go to meet people?” Lots of people don’t like uncertainty and unanswered questions. But uncertainty brings a ton of opportunity. Your options are endless!! And that’s a good thing! You just need to believe that it is, too.

Advertising

9. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t.

This is rule #1 of the Law of Attraction. If you’re not familiar with it, I suggest you read about it. When you focus on the negativity of being single, you are only putting negative vibrations out there to everyone. They will pick up on it. Focus on your great job, wonderful friends, your health, your car, food on your table—you name it. When you focus on the good things, your vibration will change to being positive. Other people will pick up on it and want to be around you even more than they already do.

10. Keep busy with things that make you happy.

Do you like running? Join a running group! Do you love to read? Join a book club! Do you like to go to happy hour with your friends? Do it! The more you keep busy, the less you’ll focus on the negatives of being single (but there really aren’t any negatives—only what you think are negatives). Keep busy and have fun. And who knows who you will meet in the process?

11. You need to love yourself the way you want to be loved by a partner.

If you have been nasty to your partners in past relationships, re-think that! If you’re being nasty to yourself, stop doing that! Love yourself! Treat yourself with kindness and respect. If you want a quality relationship with a person who will treat you well, you need to start doing it yourself.

Advertising

12. When you feel lonely, give back to others.

Maybe you’re feeling down on yourself or you’re feeling lonely because haven’t been on a date for a long time. Then try giving back! Volunteer at a homeless shelter or a center for abused women. It always feels good to help others. The more you help others, the better you’ll feel about yourself. And it will also help you not focus on what you “don’t have” quite as much.

13. Be patient.

Perfection takes time! Rome wasn’t built in a day. The Great Pyramids weren’t even built in a century. So if you want greatness, you need to be willing to wait it out! Don’t just settle for whatever comes your way. Make sure that when you choose a partner, that he/she is who really you want. You two should be a good match. If not, you might find yourself having to repeat the process of being single once again. So decide what you want, and have confidence that in time, you will definitely find “the one.”

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

17 Ideas to Keep Your Love and Marriage Strong Through Thick and Thin How to Stop Being Absent Minded and Start to Be More Attentive 7 Ways In Which Entrepreneurs Perceive The World Differently 7 Simple Steps to Improve Your Financial Management Skills 7 Negative Thoughts That Stop You From Achieving Your Full Potential

Trending in Communication

1 7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life 2 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On 3 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 4 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 5 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

Advertising

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

Advertising

These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

Advertising

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

Advertising

7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next