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13 Signs You’ve Found Your Mr. Right

13 Signs You’ve Found Your Mr. Right

Everyone wants to find that perfect mate—a lifetime partner who will complement you and share your world. And while you might, perhaps rightly, say there is no perfect mate, there certainly is a right mate. If you are in relationship with a man and want to know if he’s a keeper, there are some solid signals you can look out for that tell you he’s Mr. Right for YOU and that you should hold on to him tight and not let go.

1. The physical chemistry between you two is palpable.

So much so that other people comment how great you are together. There is no guessing or wondering if the electricity between you is real. Just holding hands fills your heart with joy, even after many years of being together.

2. He takes a genuine interest in your life.

He asks you all about your hopes and dreams and even wants to know how your day was. He does that because he is keen and genuinely happy to be a part of your life. And you are comfortable telling him everything because you trust him and know he has your best interest at heart.

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3. He makes you feel loved, treasured and secure.

He tells you regularly that he loves you and, through his acts of love like taking you out for a romantic dinner or cooking you a meal at home, you know it’s true. You feel he is your “home.” And “home” is the person or place you always want to return to.

4. He gives you space.

He has no desire to control you in any way. He lets you wear what you want, pursue your other interests and just hang out with your friends and have a good time in peace. That’s because he understands the value of me-time and also expects you to give him some space too.

5. He remembers tiny details about you.

Like secret fetishes and how you still chew your nails when you’re nervous, as well as important milestones in your relationship like anniversaries and birthdays. He pretty much remembers everything you’ve ever told him about yourself and cherishes the memories you share together.

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6. He makes you laugh!

He actually has a knack for making you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt. And there is a lot of random dancing, singing and way too many inside jokes that others don’t even understand that goes on between you two. You always have a good time when you are with him.

7. He doesn’t keep secrets from you.

He is completely honest with you, even on sensitive topics like telling you that his ex called him. That’s because he trusts you. He trusts and loves you so much that he would not deliberately cheat, deceive or betray you in any way. And you trust him too in equal measure.

8. He has similar overall goals.

While you may not agree on every little thing, you’re on the same page where it matters. For example, you want the same things long-term like a house in the country, a few kids or travel to different places around the world. Your overall goals, ambitions, virtues and values match.

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9. He fights fair.

He never results to violence or abuse of any kind in the relationship. That means you can tell him directly what’s on your mind without fear he will result to hurtful name calling or physical abuse. He can criticize and correct you too without you misunderstanding the intention behind it.

10. He’s changed you for the better.

He’s overhauled things you thought you knew and wanted and opened your eyes to a whole new (and better) world that you never knew existed. For example, you may have never known how rewarding travelling is, if you’d never met him. His presence in your life just influences you so positively.

11. He likes your family.

And you like his family. Even though your relationship with your in-laws does not determine if your union will thrive, life is so much easier when you have each other’s family’s approval and blessings. Everyone just gets along better, for the most part.

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12. Your parents and closest friends actually like him.

Your parents have known you since you were born and looked out for you ever since. They want what’s best for you and are in a position to see what you might not have the distance or objectivity to see on your own. Tread carefully if your parents and long-term, close friends don’t like him.

13. You would marry him again.

Despite everything – the blowouts and tough times – you know in your heart this is the man you were meant to spend your life with. You realize it could be no other way. You would marry him in a heartbeat, and do it again. He is your Mr. Right and you feel a sense of pride in him.

Featured photo credit: Nathan Colquhoun via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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