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13 Signs You’ve Found Your Mr. Right

13 Signs You’ve Found Your Mr. Right

Everyone wants to find that perfect mate—a lifetime partner who will complement you and share your world. And while you might, perhaps rightly, say there is no perfect mate, there certainly is a right mate. If you are in relationship with a man and want to know if he’s a keeper, there are some solid signals you can look out for that tell you he’s Mr. Right for YOU and that you should hold on to him tight and not let go.

1. The physical chemistry between you two is palpable.

So much so that other people comment how great you are together. There is no guessing or wondering if the electricity between you is real. Just holding hands fills your heart with joy, even after many years of being together.

2. He takes a genuine interest in your life.

He asks you all about your hopes and dreams and even wants to know how your day was. He does that because he is keen and genuinely happy to be a part of your life. And you are comfortable telling him everything because you trust him and know he has your best interest at heart.

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3. He makes you feel loved, treasured and secure.

He tells you regularly that he loves you and, through his acts of love like taking you out for a romantic dinner or cooking you a meal at home, you know it’s true. You feel he is your “home.” And “home” is the person or place you always want to return to.

4. He gives you space.

He has no desire to control you in any way. He lets you wear what you want, pursue your other interests and just hang out with your friends and have a good time in peace. That’s because he understands the value of me-time and also expects you to give him some space too.

5. He remembers tiny details about you.

Like secret fetishes and how you still chew your nails when you’re nervous, as well as important milestones in your relationship like anniversaries and birthdays. He pretty much remembers everything you’ve ever told him about yourself and cherishes the memories you share together.

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6. He makes you laugh!

He actually has a knack for making you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt. And there is a lot of random dancing, singing and way too many inside jokes that others don’t even understand that goes on between you two. You always have a good time when you are with him.

7. He doesn’t keep secrets from you.

He is completely honest with you, even on sensitive topics like telling you that his ex called him. That’s because he trusts you. He trusts and loves you so much that he would not deliberately cheat, deceive or betray you in any way. And you trust him too in equal measure.

8. He has similar overall goals.

While you may not agree on every little thing, you’re on the same page where it matters. For example, you want the same things long-term like a house in the country, a few kids or travel to different places around the world. Your overall goals, ambitions, virtues and values match.

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9. He fights fair.

He never results to violence or abuse of any kind in the relationship. That means you can tell him directly what’s on your mind without fear he will result to hurtful name calling or physical abuse. He can criticize and correct you too without you misunderstanding the intention behind it.

10. He’s changed you for the better.

He’s overhauled things you thought you knew and wanted and opened your eyes to a whole new (and better) world that you never knew existed. For example, you may have never known how rewarding travelling is, if you’d never met him. His presence in your life just influences you so positively.

11. He likes your family.

And you like his family. Even though your relationship with your in-laws does not determine if your union will thrive, life is so much easier when you have each other’s family’s approval and blessings. Everyone just gets along better, for the most part.

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12. Your parents and closest friends actually like him.

Your parents have known you since you were born and looked out for you ever since. They want what’s best for you and are in a position to see what you might not have the distance or objectivity to see on your own. Tread carefully if your parents and long-term, close friends don’t like him.

13. You would marry him again.

Despite everything – the blowouts and tough times – you know in your heart this is the man you were meant to spend your life with. You realize it could be no other way. You would marry him in a heartbeat, and do it again. He is your Mr. Right and you feel a sense of pride in him.

Featured photo credit: Nathan Colquhoun via flickr.com

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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