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13 Deliciously Sweet Elements of Happiness

13 Deliciously Sweet Elements of Happiness

Happiness is not just one of those ideas that we say in passing or a feeling that we long to experience and say, “Well, we can never be truly happy because of x,y, z.” Happiness is present all of the time, and the choice is yours to decide to recognize what makes you happy and where you can increase happiness in your life.

1. Passion

When you have a passion that pours out of every cell of your body, others cannot help but take notice, and you cannot do anything else. It can consume your life and when you are in this state, there is an ever so present aspect of joy and happiness. Being passionate is not just something that you have to do, but something that you absolute love to do bringing a smile to your face no matter the ups and downs that you are facing.

2. Bliss

Bliss is that element where you know you can’t escape it. Essentially you are 100% happy with life at this moment and time. You are content and love where things are going. Bliss is what we all need and yet is one of the things that we never talk about as most think it is unattainable, but in reality it’s all in our mindset.

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3. Peace

Happiness brings about a sense of peace in your life. When you are peaceful, there is not any source of worry entering into your life. You are content, happy and enjoying the moment that you have right now without any turmoil.

4. Smiles

A smile is contagious. It shines with energy,strength, happiness, and joy. The more you smile the more you are happy. It’s difficult to be happy without having a smile on your face.

5. Memories

Memories are a double edged sword; however, the good memories are ones that are rarely forgotten and are often brought up when times are tough.

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6. Joy

Spend time realizing what brings the smiles to your face, what makes you laugh contagiously, and what gives you that overall since of joy and happiness. When you are joyful, you are happy. It’s difficult to have one without the other. Having a fulfilled happy life means that you must showcase joy daily sharing with others what makes you smile.

7.  Friends and People You Love Spending Time With

It’s been proven that you are the average of the five people that you spend time with. Are the people you are spending the most time with ones that help showcase your happiness? If you begin to feel happier with less complaining and have a better perspective on life, then you should keep those friends close by. We don’t realize how important it is to have others that help us see the joy and happiness in life until they are far from our lives. Keep those people close by and happiness will always be a part of your life.

8. Love

When you hear the word “love,” there are normally two or three images that immediately pop into your mind- the couple who is madly in love, a family that showcases love daily, and then someone who may have been scarred by love in the past having a difficult time accepting love now. It’s not to say that you have to have love to be happy; however, if you are in love, you should be happily in love. Happiness should exude from your relationship. You should want the relationship to continue and not be a drudgery, which would ultimately steal your happiness.

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9. Cherish the Present

Make a point to realize that we are living right here, right now – not yesterday and not tomorrow. Things can change at a moments notice; however, when you live in the present and cherish the time that you have today, you learn to appreciate and be happy for things today. You stop the comparison with what happened years ago or what you wish will happen tomorrow. Cherish today, hold it close, and make sure that what you are doing today makes you happy.

10. Spontaneity

When you add a little spontaneity into your life, an adventure begins full of intrigue and unknown. It doesn’t have to be a life that is completely spontaneous, but even a slight amount will get you out of your routine and noticing items and opportunities that you haven’t seen before. Experiencing these new things will add more happiness to your life and you will branch out of the feeling that every day is like “Groundhog Day.”

11. Honesty

It’s hard to be happy and have a web of lies strung about. When you lie, you are always more concerned with who knows what or who can I tell this too. When you are an open book and completely honest, you don’t have to hide anything and don’t have to worry about who knows what. You are living today and can experience happiness first hand and feel like you can share it with others not having to keep it to yourself.

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12. Choice

You have the choice to do or not do something. No matter who is trying to guilt you into doing something ultimately you are the decider. If the option will help you further your career and make you happier, then the choice is yours to say yes. However, if it will put you even further from where you want to be, at a place where you are no longer happy, and dread every minute of it, the choice is yours to say no. Choose happiness and you will be in a better place emotionally and with less stress.

13. Gratitude

I saved the best for last. Gratitude is so important to continue to gain more abundance in life and happiness. You have to be grateful for what you have right now. No matter how little or how much you have when you show that you are grateful, a sense of peace and calmness is present. You realize how much you do have and are grateful for. When you do this, you instantly become reminded of what makes you happy and how your life, even thought it may not be perfect, is better off than most.

Stay grateful. Stay happy.

Featured photo credit: Jeff Meyer via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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