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13 Deliciously Sweet Elements of Happiness

13 Deliciously Sweet Elements of Happiness

Happiness is not just one of those ideas that we say in passing or a feeling that we long to experience and say, “Well, we can never be truly happy because of x,y, z.” Happiness is present all of the time, and the choice is yours to decide to recognize what makes you happy and where you can increase happiness in your life.

1. Passion

When you have a passion that pours out of every cell of your body, others cannot help but take notice, and you cannot do anything else. It can consume your life and when you are in this state, there is an ever so present aspect of joy and happiness. Being passionate is not just something that you have to do, but something that you absolute love to do bringing a smile to your face no matter the ups and downs that you are facing.

2. Bliss

Bliss is that element where you know you can’t escape it. Essentially you are 100% happy with life at this moment and time. You are content and love where things are going. Bliss is what we all need and yet is one of the things that we never talk about as most think it is unattainable, but in reality it’s all in our mindset.

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3. Peace

Happiness brings about a sense of peace in your life. When you are peaceful, there is not any source of worry entering into your life. You are content, happy and enjoying the moment that you have right now without any turmoil.

4. Smiles

A smile is contagious. It shines with energy,strength, happiness, and joy. The more you smile the more you are happy. It’s difficult to be happy without having a smile on your face.

5. Memories

Memories are a double edged sword; however, the good memories are ones that are rarely forgotten and are often brought up when times are tough.

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6. Joy

Spend time realizing what brings the smiles to your face, what makes you laugh contagiously, and what gives you that overall since of joy and happiness. When you are joyful, you are happy. It’s difficult to have one without the other. Having a fulfilled happy life means that you must showcase joy daily sharing with others what makes you smile.

7.  Friends and People You Love Spending Time With

It’s been proven that you are the average of the five people that you spend time with. Are the people you are spending the most time with ones that help showcase your happiness? If you begin to feel happier with less complaining and have a better perspective on life, then you should keep those friends close by. We don’t realize how important it is to have others that help us see the joy and happiness in life until they are far from our lives. Keep those people close by and happiness will always be a part of your life.

8. Love

When you hear the word “love,” there are normally two or three images that immediately pop into your mind- the couple who is madly in love, a family that showcases love daily, and then someone who may have been scarred by love in the past having a difficult time accepting love now. It’s not to say that you have to have love to be happy; however, if you are in love, you should be happily in love. Happiness should exude from your relationship. You should want the relationship to continue and not be a drudgery, which would ultimately steal your happiness.

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9. Cherish the Present

Make a point to realize that we are living right here, right now – not yesterday and not tomorrow. Things can change at a moments notice; however, when you live in the present and cherish the time that you have today, you learn to appreciate and be happy for things today. You stop the comparison with what happened years ago or what you wish will happen tomorrow. Cherish today, hold it close, and make sure that what you are doing today makes you happy.

10. Spontaneity

When you add a little spontaneity into your life, an adventure begins full of intrigue and unknown. It doesn’t have to be a life that is completely spontaneous, but even a slight amount will get you out of your routine and noticing items and opportunities that you haven’t seen before. Experiencing these new things will add more happiness to your life and you will branch out of the feeling that every day is like “Groundhog Day.”

11. Honesty

It’s hard to be happy and have a web of lies strung about. When you lie, you are always more concerned with who knows what or who can I tell this too. When you are an open book and completely honest, you don’t have to hide anything and don’t have to worry about who knows what. You are living today and can experience happiness first hand and feel like you can share it with others not having to keep it to yourself.

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12. Choice

You have the choice to do or not do something. No matter who is trying to guilt you into doing something ultimately you are the decider. If the option will help you further your career and make you happier, then the choice is yours to say yes. However, if it will put you even further from where you want to be, at a place where you are no longer happy, and dread every minute of it, the choice is yours to say no. Choose happiness and you will be in a better place emotionally and with less stress.

13. Gratitude

I saved the best for last. Gratitude is so important to continue to gain more abundance in life and happiness. You have to be grateful for what you have right now. No matter how little or how much you have when you show that you are grateful, a sense of peace and calmness is present. You realize how much you do have and are grateful for. When you do this, you instantly become reminded of what makes you happy and how your life, even thought it may not be perfect, is better off than most.

Stay grateful. Stay happy.

Featured photo credit: Jeff Meyer via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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