Advertising
Advertising

12 Ways To Become Happier

12 Ways To Become Happier

Have you ever thought about what makes people happy? Does anyone have a definition of the word “happiness”? What should we do, and how should we behave to become happier? People always try to answer these questions, but it’s not as easy to do as we all think.

Anyway, it seems that scientists know the answers to all questions. And they insist that they’ve found and checked 12 ways to make every person happier, or give him a good mood at least. These are simple advice to follow. Just try! Who knows, maybe all people would be happier if everyone listened to scientists and followed their recommendations?

Spend your money on others

American scientists insist, that when a person spends money to help others, he feels himself much happier. The results of this research have been even published in Psychological Bulletin, a popular scientific journal. It says that the happiest people are the most generous ones, regardless of how they earn money for living. By the way, maybe this is the reason why rich people give so much money to charity. It just makes them happier!

Advertising

Write down all good things happened to you

Literally. Martin Seligman, an American psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, proved the fact that people feel much happier when they write down every positive thing that happened to them during a day. He says that you shouldn’t forget even such a simple fact as having your favorite dessert for example. I am going to check this method starting from today. And you?

Try something new

Those people who always look for adventures and are not afraid of trying anything they’ve never done before become much happier at once. Well, I must admit that this method sometimes works for me: one day I decided to jump with a parachute, though I was always afraid of heights. No words can be found now to describe what I felt after that jump, but I had been smiling for a week at least. May I call this condition a kind of happiness? Probably, it was exactly what I felt.

Don’t try to get everything at once

Experts say that the anticipation of future pleasure makes people happier immediately, even before they get what they want. We all enjoy waiting for Christmas or vacations. And when you buy an ice cream, you’d better not eat it at once, but put it in a fridge and wait for a couple of hours. They believe that such a waiting can make you happier, and it helps you get a double pleasure afterwords.

Advertising

Surround yourself with a blue color

Do you like a blue color? Psychologists say that its contemplation makes your self-confidence grow and help you cope with stress. So, just choose everything blue, look at it all the time, and become more confident and happier. What can be easier actually?

Set a goal

People who set long-term and short-term goals are usually happier than those individuals who don’t do that. A feeling of reaching the goal suppresses all negative emotions that can arise at your workplace or home. These are the results of Jonathan Freedman’s investigations. He is a well-known specialist, an author of several books on the topic of social psychology, so, he probably knows what he talks about.

Stop defending your point of view

Deepak Chopra, a doctor and an author of many books about holistic health and alternative medicine, insists that the best way to stay happy is to remain neutral in all disputes and never defend your point of view, especially when it comes to politics. He described this method in his book The Seven Laws of Superheroes (2011).

Advertising

Go to church

All new studies show that visiting temples helps even atheists. Plus, it has long been known that religious people are usually happier than non-believers. Bruce Headey, a professor from University of Melbourne, says that people who go to church regularly don’t usually worry about their careers, and they don’t take part in family conflicts.

Sleep no less than six hours each night

According to experts from the British company Yeo Valley, the perfect sleep time for a good mood is six hours and 15 minutes. So, don’t make yourself sad, sleep well and stay happy.

Live closer to work

British scientists have conducted a study recently, which showed that people who spent less then 20 minutes on they way to work appeared to be much happier than those ones who had to spend an hour or two in transports every day.

Advertising

Smile

Several studies have confirmed the fact that if a person smiles, even when he had no reason to do that, it makes him feel better. As for me, this is the easiest method to become happier, so why not to try it?

Keep a romantic relationship

Scientists from The Cornell University say that having a regular sexual partner makes people happier, even if there is no love between them. But the stronger their affection is, and the longer they are together–the more they are satisfied with their life in comparison with their lonely fellows. Don’t be alone, friends! And these happiness quotes are here to make your day and inspire you!

More by this author

25 Apps College Students Shouldn’t Live Without 25 Essential Books That Every College Student Should Read 6 Ways to Cope With Unrequited Love student-write-essays 10 Bomb Messages Students Hide In Essays To Get A+ leonardp-dicaprio 10 Things That Will Help Leonardo DiCaprio Get an Oscar

Trending in Communication

1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

Advertising

1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

Advertising

If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

Advertising

6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

Advertising

In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

Read Next