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12 Ways To Become Happier

12 Ways To Become Happier

Have you ever thought about what makes people happy? Does anyone have a definition of the word “happiness”? What should we do, and how should we behave to become happier? People always try to answer these questions, but it’s not as easy to do as we all think.

Anyway, it seems that scientists know the answers to all questions. And they insist that they’ve found and checked 12 ways to make every person happier, or give him a good mood at least. These are simple advice to follow. Just try! Who knows, maybe all people would be happier if everyone listened to scientists and followed their recommendations?

Spend your money on others

American scientists insist, that when a person spends money to help others, he feels himself much happier. The results of this research have been even published in Psychological Bulletin, a popular scientific journal. It says that the happiest people are the most generous ones, regardless of how they earn money for living. By the way, maybe this is the reason why rich people give so much money to charity. It just makes them happier!

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Write down all good things happened to you

Literally. Martin Seligman, an American psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, proved the fact that people feel much happier when they write down every positive thing that happened to them during a day. He says that you shouldn’t forget even such a simple fact as having your favorite dessert for example. I am going to check this method starting from today. And you?

Try something new

Those people who always look for adventures and are not afraid of trying anything they’ve never done before become much happier at once. Well, I must admit that this method sometimes works for me: one day I decided to jump with a parachute, though I was always afraid of heights. No words can be found now to describe what I felt after that jump, but I had been smiling for a week at least. May I call this condition a kind of happiness? Probably, it was exactly what I felt.

Don’t try to get everything at once

Experts say that the anticipation of future pleasure makes people happier immediately, even before they get what they want. We all enjoy waiting for Christmas or vacations. And when you buy an ice cream, you’d better not eat it at once, but put it in a fridge and wait for a couple of hours. They believe that such a waiting can make you happier, and it helps you get a double pleasure afterwords.

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Surround yourself with a blue color

Do you like a blue color? Psychologists say that its contemplation makes your self-confidence grow and help you cope with stress. So, just choose everything blue, look at it all the time, and become more confident and happier. What can be easier actually?

Set a goal

People who set long-term and short-term goals are usually happier than those individuals who don’t do that. A feeling of reaching the goal suppresses all negative emotions that can arise at your workplace or home. These are the results of Jonathan Freedman’s investigations. He is a well-known specialist, an author of several books on the topic of social psychology, so, he probably knows what he talks about.

Stop defending your point of view

Deepak Chopra, a doctor and an author of many books about holistic health and alternative medicine, insists that the best way to stay happy is to remain neutral in all disputes and never defend your point of view, especially when it comes to politics. He described this method in his book The Seven Laws of Superheroes (2011).

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Go to church

All new studies show that visiting temples helps even atheists. Plus, it has long been known that religious people are usually happier than non-believers. Bruce Headey, a professor from University of Melbourne, says that people who go to church regularly don’t usually worry about their careers, and they don’t take part in family conflicts.

Sleep no less than six hours each night

According to experts from the British company Yeo Valley, the perfect sleep time for a good mood is six hours and 15 minutes. So, don’t make yourself sad, sleep well and stay happy.

Live closer to work

British scientists have conducted a study recently, which showed that people who spent less then 20 minutes on they way to work appeared to be much happier than those ones who had to spend an hour or two in transports every day.

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Smile

Several studies have confirmed the fact that if a person smiles, even when he had no reason to do that, it makes him feel better. As for me, this is the easiest method to become happier, so why not to try it?

Keep a romantic relationship

Scientists from The Cornell University say that having a regular sexual partner makes people happier, even if there is no love between them. But the stronger their affection is, and the longer they are together–the more they are satisfied with their life in comparison with their lonely fellows. Don’t be alone, friends! And these happiness quotes are here to make your day and inspire you!

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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