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12 Ways To Become Happier

12 Ways To Become Happier

Have you ever thought about what makes people happy? Does anyone have a definition of the word “happiness”? What should we do, and how should we behave to become happier? People always try to answer these questions, but it’s not as easy to do as we all think.

Anyway, it seems that scientists know the answers to all questions. And they insist that they’ve found and checked 12 ways to make every person happier, or give him a good mood at least. These are simple advice to follow. Just try! Who knows, maybe all people would be happier if everyone listened to scientists and followed their recommendations?

Spend your money on others

American scientists insist, that when a person spends money to help others, he feels himself much happier. The results of this research have been even published in Psychological Bulletin, a popular scientific journal. It says that the happiest people are the most generous ones, regardless of how they earn money for living. By the way, maybe this is the reason why rich people give so much money to charity. It just makes them happier!

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Write down all good things happened to you

Literally. Martin Seligman, an American psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, proved the fact that people feel much happier when they write down every positive thing that happened to them during a day. He says that you shouldn’t forget even such a simple fact as having your favorite dessert for example. I am going to check this method starting from today. And you?

Try something new

Those people who always look for adventures and are not afraid of trying anything they’ve never done before become much happier at once. Well, I must admit that this method sometimes works for me: one day I decided to jump with a parachute, though I was always afraid of heights. No words can be found now to describe what I felt after that jump, but I had been smiling for a week at least. May I call this condition a kind of happiness? Probably, it was exactly what I felt.

Don’t try to get everything at once

Experts say that the anticipation of future pleasure makes people happier immediately, even before they get what they want. We all enjoy waiting for Christmas or vacations. And when you buy an ice cream, you’d better not eat it at once, but put it in a fridge and wait for a couple of hours. They believe that such a waiting can make you happier, and it helps you get a double pleasure afterwords.

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Surround yourself with a blue color

Do you like a blue color? Psychologists say that its contemplation makes your self-confidence grow and help you cope with stress. So, just choose everything blue, look at it all the time, and become more confident and happier. What can be easier actually?

Set a goal

People who set long-term and short-term goals are usually happier than those individuals who don’t do that. A feeling of reaching the goal suppresses all negative emotions that can arise at your workplace or home. These are the results of Jonathan Freedman’s investigations. He is a well-known specialist, an author of several books on the topic of social psychology, so, he probably knows what he talks about.

Stop defending your point of view

Deepak Chopra, a doctor and an author of many books about holistic health and alternative medicine, insists that the best way to stay happy is to remain neutral in all disputes and never defend your point of view, especially when it comes to politics. He described this method in his book The Seven Laws of Superheroes (2011).

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Go to church

All new studies show that visiting temples helps even atheists. Plus, it has long been known that religious people are usually happier than non-believers. Bruce Headey, a professor from University of Melbourne, says that people who go to church regularly don’t usually worry about their careers, and they don’t take part in family conflicts.

Sleep no less than six hours each night

According to experts from the British company Yeo Valley, the perfect sleep time for a good mood is six hours and 15 minutes. So, don’t make yourself sad, sleep well and stay happy.

Live closer to work

British scientists have conducted a study recently, which showed that people who spent less then 20 minutes on they way to work appeared to be much happier than those ones who had to spend an hour or two in transports every day.

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Smile

Several studies have confirmed the fact that if a person smiles, even when he had no reason to do that, it makes him feel better. As for me, this is the easiest method to become happier, so why not to try it?

Keep a romantic relationship

Scientists from The Cornell University say that having a regular sexual partner makes people happier, even if there is no love between them. But the stronger their affection is, and the longer they are together–the more they are satisfied with their life in comparison with their lonely fellows. Don’t be alone, friends! And these happiness quotes are here to make your day and inspire you!

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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